Speedy Jan is driving and I am the co-pilot. I was doing my best at navigating and reassuring B.o.b. that we would make it to the start in plenty of time. I kept pointing at the arrival time on the GPS. We had a start time of 11 a.m. and the GPS showed our arrival time of 10:32.
Van 1 was well on their way. They were due to arrive at about 10. There was a mandatory safety briefing held an hour before the team's start time. Only Van 1 had to attend this meeting so I knew we were in no hurry. Sort of.
This gave us plenty of time to catch up with Jen who just got in the night before from Michigan. I was also going to try and get a nap in but fat chance once The Caribbean moved from the back seat to the seat behind me. The stories he decided to tell were something else. Let me share one of them with you. I think it was his amazement that there is Braille on a drive thru ATM. So blind people can't drive? He also wanted us to know that if he were a woman and married to Stevie Wonder, he would buy all Stevie's shirts from Wal-mart. They would all be white cotton.
Captain Nuts' Tip #9. When you are the one always pulling someones leg, don't assume that your leg is being pulled when something does not sound believable.
We are about 20 minutes from the start when I get a call from Van 1. I am told of some bad news. They were getting gas and turned the van off. The van did not start back up. The hood was opened and the battery was corroded. They were able to get a jump and were almost to the start. This was not good.
I told everyone else in Van 2 what I was just told and not a person in the van believed this really happened. They are just messing with you. There's no way a rental van would have a dead battery. And why were they already getting gas. The van came with a quarter tank is why.
Captain Nuts' Tip #10. When renting a vehicle, try to use a Nationally known company and not someone from Craigslist.We are now about a mile from the start when I see Van 1 turn in front of us. I point at the van and tell my Van 2ers there goes Van 1. I guess they were not kidding. There is no way we are going to start at 11. I now feel vindicated for having to go back to my house all those times.
I have SJ drop me off at the check-in so I could explain our situation and try to get a new start time. I could see the other teams were finishing the safety meeting. We were allowed to start at 11:30 but would be the only team. We still had to get the safety briefing out of the way first.
We all gather around for our personalized safety meeting. We get our numbers, orange flags, shirts and goodies. Shorty Shorts is running in circles in anticipation. He said this is the first time he has started a race where he is the only person. I told him not to get lost. He said he does not get lost. I then reminded him of the time we did the Dances With Dirt race. "Well I won't get lost this time." He was off and running. He only had 3.4 miles for his first leg.
Oh and Van 1. I had to jump it off so they could get going. Shorty Shorts had assured me that the first place they go after runner 6 is done will be an Autozone.
Now time to decorate Van 2. we had to be mindful this year of our visuals. One of the rules was the decorations had to be explainable to a 4th grader. Hell these days that gave us plenty of wiggle room. And with a team name like Half Nuts, we had an out. B.o.b. made us some cloth signs this year. We learned from last year that cardboard does not like the wind. We also used a different tape and some window chalk. Big nut attached to van grill. Decorations done.
Captain Nuts' Tip #11. If something disappears and you don't try to find it, then you probably don't need it anyways.
Let's go eat. McDonald's anyone?