Sunday, November 14, 2010

Ragnar....already or all ready.

Hard to believe a year has passed since Ragnar Central Florida 2009. What a year makes. Here comes team Half Nuts again. As Captain Nuts I would like to say thanks to my entire team from last year. I thank you for what you did for the team. Had the Captain kept up with his blogging duties the rest of the world could have known what you did as well.

There are six new additions to team Half Nuts this year but the core tastes the same. Five of the six are Ragnar that is. Not sure about the biblical virgin part but hey 202 miles in a van counts as something.

I will use this blog to recap last years event based solely on notes that were taken during the trip from Van 2 which was occupied by Your Captain, Redhead Jen, Shorty Shorts Jason, P-Funk, Caribbean Steve and B.o.b. Hopefully my new victims, I mean runners, will get the idea that this is not only a race but an adventure. A funtastic one. It is truly what you/they make of it. You see I again will be in Van 2. Van 2 For Life Baby as the tattoo says.

Sponge Bob nipple band-aids.
S.S. chest hair can be in corn rows/Snoop Dogg perm.
C-Steve finger splashing water for his homies.
Captain stopped short for Shorty Shorts.
Steve revoked B.o.b.'s black card because she wants to jump out of planes.
Steve insist Jen teach him to text.
Sweet Caroline sing along with drum solo by Steve.
The newly diagnosed Leak-a-litis Syndrome.
Steve has the strength of an infant.
The Captain knows all since he is a triathlete.
Ain't no crying in Ragnar.
Tuna or onions.
These slap bracelets can cut a bitch.
P-Funk beats on back window of van because the light was left on.
Red pees too much.
Red Bull keeps you awake while pooing.
Redhead admits girls poo.
B.o.b. has the shortest intestines.
Steve ain't sleep yet.
Triathletes are human also. They get nervous poops.
Shorty shorts had to catch the runners that Steve could not.
Is this an exchange point? Nope. Just a D.U.I. checkpoint.
How do you spell poop noises? With a v maybe.
Red is so white that she glows in the dark.
That was an exchange we just drove past.
I can't see. Can you have Jen stand over here.
Steve injured his labia while riding the bike.
Why is the navigator sleeping?
Hey, it's not pretty. It's not sexy. It may not even be healthy but damn it, it's Ragnar. And it's an adventure.
The Captain showed Red and Shorty Shorts a big bug in the tent.
The Captain suggested Steve wear a job bra so he didn't slap himself in the face so much when he ran.
Shorty Shorts, "I do what I want." Said prior to the cell phone call to his girlfriend.
Random booty shaking on the side of the highway by the Van 2 dancers.
Steve, "this is the three best days of my life."
Red loaned her shorts to Shorty Shorts. So we thought but then were told they are his.
B.o.b. is deceptively slow looking.
Shorty Shorts, "I can't believe I am single." Said after the phone call to his girlfriend.
Red pees so much it's no wonder she has rubber sheets.
Steve just wants to have a job washing balls.
It smells like Tiger Breeze in here.
If I can't please it then I will damage it.

That is just a short list of the things that were said and so many were left out due to their personal meanings, lack of humour or just plain vulgarity. I think B.o.b. has that list but hey she can start a new list this Friday.

I truly look forward to this weekend's race. The past two years have been great experiences. I have a great group of ten runners and one Islander. We are not doing this for any finish line awards cause we ain't fast enough. We are not in it to win it. We each have our own reasons why. Some for the love. Some for the money. And some for the country. I for one am doing it because if I was able to convince eleven suckers to pay entry fees, I would get a free entry. Ragnar here come the Half Nuts. Led by yours truly.

Captain Nuts