My Tent Is No Motel 6

We have now handed off our running responsibilities to Van 1. We shall not see them again for 6-8 hours. It is time to get food and hopefully some sleep. Keep in mind it is not even 10 pm.


We load up the van and it seems that everyone is still hopped up with energy (I think) from our first legs. The sounds of Redhead bragging about her pace during her 3 mile run. Beth complaining about how she "ain't never gonna have no kids now." Millionaire texting his every move to someone and downing hand fulls of vitamins. C-Steve was going on and on about....well I am not sure what he was going on and on about but he was. And then there was our other female runner. Now because she and I are in a contract dispute right now, I can not mention her name for fear of royalty violations. Oh screw it. P-Funk-U was just so happy to be done with her 8 miler and wanted so much for someone to listen to her. And me. I was just taking it all in and being a good listener like a Captain should be.


I was going down my mental check list and asking all the important questions of my runners. Is anyone hurt? Does anyone need to call home? Is there anyway you guys can run a little faster on your next leg. Who has money for gas? Who just passed gas? Millionaire, where are your clothes? When did we get a dog? B.o.b. are you crying? Redhead does the sun ever shine in Orlando? What does a flat tire sound like? P-Funk-U is that a box of Thin Mints your eating?


We are headed towards exchange 24 which is the next Van change area. The Van change areas are designed to be larger than the regular exchanges and also have food and drink. Ragnar was providing a spaghetti dinner at the exchange for a nominal fee. Spaghetti and sauce heated by a bunson burner for who knows how long. "Just stir the sauce around. You won't notice things that don't look familiar to ya." Guess where I was going to drive the van before stopping at the exchange. McDonalds. I knew there was one close by because of last years race.

McDonalds served two purposes. Everyone could use the bathrooms to freshen up a little and then get a bite to eat if desired. Now this particular McDonalds was in a one stop-light town. But it was the only option other than gas station food. Imagine what the employees were thinking seeing us come in. All sweated up and draggin ass. We were not sure if other Ragnar runners had been here but they weren't here now.

The girls took the opportunity to change clothes and take hot showers in the McDonalds' bathroom sink. The bathroom had one of the electric hand dryers. I later heard the play by play of how the girls were using the dryer to dry off and warm up. It was not told to me by one of the girls. The cook was actually telling the other employees when I was ordering my food. Something about a security camera in the bathroom due to recent vandalism incidents.

I decided since I would be bedding down soon in the tent, I was going to wear what any camper should wear when it is chilly out. Long Johns. At least the pants part. I wore a long sleeve shirt as well. Now when we first got to McDonalds we were the only ones there so I figured it would be okay to wear the long Johns inside. I don't want to say a church bus pulled in but it did get crowded all the sudden. Turns out you could see my butt through my pants. I did not realize this until I caught a lady giving me the once over smile. She offered to pay for my food. In that case I will have a number 11 and a Double Cheeseburger, thank you very much granny.

We left McDonalds slightly cleaner and fresher and headed for our hotel room. Yeah right. We were going to be pitching a tent to sleep in. I brought an eight person tent for us to use so we would not have to sleep in the van. I pulled in to the parking area and drove to the back where there was only one other van. We were pretty secluded, as best you could be given the circumstances, and far enough away from the activity and lights. It was very dark and starting to get chilly. Nice. Great tent weather.

The tent only took 10 minutes to set up. I felt like a father taking his kids out on their first camping trip. I found out that C-Steve had never pitched a tent before. He was so excited. He kept telling me that he had never pitched a tent before. I told him not to brag about it in certain circles but it was okay to tell me. He was among friends. I also brought two sleeping bags. There again comes the lack of communication on the e-mails. I had asked if anyone needed one and the only person to request one was B.o.b.

After everyone went on their potty breaks, we got in to the tent. Well not all of us. P-Funk-U decided she was going to sleep in the van. I thought it was because she smelled the most but I later found out the true reason. Something about a tent collapse at a circus she was performing at years ago still haunts her to this day.

So there was five of us in the tent. Two of us had sleeping bags and the others had blankets. In other words, two of us were warm and the others struggled. I am all nice and settled in for a long Winter's nap when I hear this chattering sound right next to me. I open my eyes and realize that it is Redhead's teeth just a clicking. I asked her what is wrong. She tells me that she is freezing. Quite the dilemma. What should the Captain do? Not enough room for two in my sleeping bag. And the Captain needs to have his warmth in case some tough decisions need to be made. Here is one of those decisions. I say, "mind over matter." I suggest she get in the van. She says she will be okay. I fall back to sleep. I then hear this zipper sound and realize that someone is unzipping the tent. It is Redhead saying she has to go to the bathroom. A short time later, I hear the zipper again. She has returned. Just as I am back to sleep. What do I hear. The teeth chattering. Then the zipper. Then the zipper. Then the teeth chattering. Then the zipper. My God woman, what the hell. "I already have a tiny bladder and being cold on top of that doesn't help." So one more zipper. At this point I am debating on waking everyone else up and moving the tent.

Now during this episode, Millionaire decides he wants to get up and get in on the action. Unzip and then zip. Just as I am falling asleep, I hear this banging sound. I mean a loud banging sound. So loud that it woke everyone up, including B.o.b. who was practically in a coma. I look in the direction of where the noise is coming from and it is P-Funk-U banging on the back window of the van. It seems Millionaire had gotten something from the van and left the light on. I thought I heard P-Funk-U yelling, "this ain't no Motel 6 b%^*h! Turn the light off." She actually was starting to turn green. Redhead was balled up in the fetal position in the corner of the tent hiding under what blanket she had. I debated on getting my critter killer up until the moment Millionaire turned the lights off. Then there was silence. I told Millionaire for safety's sake and all of humanity, could you not make that mistake again.

I then hear my phone going off. It was Kalani letting us know that Milsaps was getting ready to start his run. That meant we had about 30-40 minutes before C-Steve would be running. Was it 3 a.m. already. Kalani also said they had a runner down. Stacey had fallen while running in the fog. She did not see a raised section of road and took a hard fall. Apparently a Blackberry does not work well as a fog light.She was a trooper and got back up and continued to run, and Tweet and update her Facebook status. She was not sure if she would be able to do her third leg or not. I told Kalani to tell her not to worry about that. We would take care of it.

Well time to wake all my kids up and close up camp. C-Steve got ready and we were off on our second legs.

Next: Was That A Chainsaw I Heard?

The Great Razor War Wages On

A break from the Ragnar journey.

I must inform you of this war my wife and I have found ourselves battling with my oldest daughter for the past six years. I knew it was coming. It was predicted. The writing was on the wall. I read about it in parenting books. Well I really didn't read the parenting books. But my wife did and told me about it. I did read the articles about it in the Wall Street Journal, Men's Fitness and National Geographic. On a side note fellas. That National Geographic isn't what it used to be. I mean c'mon, now that your allowed to look, they really aren't all that thrilling to see. I digress. I even overheard guys talking about it at Home Depot. What was this great dilemma going on here. It was the amount of razors a teenage girl can go through in a weeks time and how much they cost.

I mean how many razors does a girl need in a weeks time to shave. Can't have much hair growing on her legs at such a young age. And the blond hair would at least give her another three days. Am I right about that. I will be honest, I do like their mother to have smooth legs. But there better be no boy alive that likes my daughter's smooth legs.

The oldest one was going through 3-4 razors a week. I only noticed when I would step on them in the shower. Now the razor I could avoid by seeing it before I stepped on it. But it was the damn clear plastic cover that I could not see and always hurt like hell when stepped on. So much for a nice relaxing shower. Time for that drink and a new tactic.

She was to be allowed one razor a week because that's what her mother used. And they were not cheap to begin with. Especially when you go from the standard one blade to the "Princess Smoothness" eight blade version. Those also double as a paint stripper. I know. You should see the chest I repainted.

We thought we were winning the war. Or at least some of the battles up until about three years ago. That is when the youngest one joined her sister's army on the Eastern Front. At first we had the youngest one on our side. But it turned out that she was merely a spy for her sister and provided valuable supply information. Kind of this sister blood thing going on. You know, "when mommy and daddy aren't home, who will hear you scream."

Their mother had this trust with the youngest one. That's how the spies do it. Build up that trust. Their mother would give out a razor on Sunday night and then hide the rest. Only she and the youngest one knew where they were. The youngest one knew in case one was needed and mommy was not home to give one out. Soon both daughters were taking from the secret stash. I hated having to pat my girls down for contraband every time they came out of our bedroom.

Now I was going to stay out of this whole thing until I was told we may have to take out a second mortgage to keep our girls all smoothed up. Oh boy don't want to be bad dad for this reason but game on girls. A new year was comin' and time to change up the battle plans.

The peace talks were held in the car on a family trip during Christmas. New rule. Four razors are given to each of you at the beginning of the month. You decide when and how you use them. If you need more than four then you are to purchase them. You can buy as many as you want. Heck you can even buy stock in Schick. Lord knows I did about three years ago. Now why didn't I come up with this rule long ago. How simple. Now I know when two parties come to the table they are supposed to each have concessions. Now the girls brought the use of only four razors a month. I wondered what we brought other than a firm rule about what they are now to do. Nope. We just agreed to buy them more razors when they run out of the four. Neither one of them have a job so where does their money come from. Oh well.

And this little story is only a little bit of what it is like being the dad in a house of girls. No trading for anything though. Except maybe some type of lifetime reusable razor. And you wonder why I don't shave.

Don't Stop Pedalling or The Punisher

We must continue with our journey. I last left you with P-Funk-U finishing up her 8 mile hilly and I mean hilly jaunt. I rode ahead at her last half mile and told Redhead that she needed to get ready to go.

I offered to ride for her but she did not want one. Her first leg was only three miles and Ragnar listed it as Easy. She said she did not need us to give her water during the run. "It's only three miles." At the same time doing the little head nod. I don't want to point any fingers but someone in the crowd yelled, "show-off".

P-Funk-U handed off the slap bracelet to Redhead and she was on her way. She was cruising right along. Now this stretch of road was HWY 98 with little shoulder and large trucks. The size of trucks that piss you off coming at you but feel great passing and pulling you the other way. Another good reason for the headlamps and reflective vests. I drove us ahead to the next exchange area. It was finally going to be my turn to run.

My first run was listed at 8.8 miles and categorized as Very Hard. It must have been the distance because the elevation did not change much. I requested a biker only because of the need for water. B.o.b. decided she would ride the bike for me. Now why C-Steve or Jason did not offer is unknown. Honestly though, I would rather run behind her than either of those two.

Redhead was running so fast that I had little time to give B.o.b. any biking 101's. I had seen her ride a bike in the past and felt comfortable that she would be okay. Now this one did not have a rubber shark horn but it did have a seat and two wheels. I told her to make sure she kept my backpack on and if I asked for it, not to ask me why. Little did she know she would be carrying our creature killer.

Redhead is in and gives me the slap bracelet. As I am running by our van, I hear B.o.b. yelling at me, "hey I can't get the seat to lower." Whoops. I forgot about that part. Nothing I could do now since I was already running. How bad could it be. It is a gel seat. I think.

I'm running along settling in on my pace. I have my Garmin on but I did not want to check my pace. For the most part I like to run without a watch. The double cheeseburger was just now kickin' in. Time for water. I have my very own water girl along side me. This should be no trouble at all. Right. Well if it were that easy why tell you about it.

To my right I am hearing, "this seat is too high. It is hurting my %^$#*&^. I don't know how much more I can take." I reach down to turn up my Shuffle and must have pushed the wrong button because it stopped working. Oh great. Well I still needed water.

I figured I would just reach my hand out and B.o.b. would give me the water bottle. Good luck with that. She was having such a hard time because the seat was so high she did not want to reach down and grab the bottle. I told her that as long as she rode next to me, I would reach down and grab the bottle. I did not want to slow my pace but I also did not want to get ran over by a pit crew member. Okay here goes. I reach over and she slows down which means there is no bottle there for me to grab. B.o.b. don't stop pedalling. You have to keep the same pace as me. Okay, but I don't want to crash. Oh, boy. You are not going to crash if you keep pedaling. But it's hard with the seat so high. Now I reach over and her leg is blocking the bottle. I then tell her to stop pedalling but don't slow down. How do I keep up and not pedal? I just need you to keep your leg out of the way but you still have to be beside me. How about you pedal ahead and then I can run up to you and grab the bottle. Not that far ahead. Have you ever just lost your thirst.

With less than a mile left, I tell B.o.b. to ride ahead and let Van 1 know that I was coming in and they would be taking over. I hand off the slap bracelet to Kalani and Van 2 is now done for the next 6-8 hours. Time to eat and get some shut eye.

Next: Pitching a Tent or We'll Leave the Light On For Ya

Van 2's First Legs or Do You Wanna Beer?

I have now kicked my first Van 2 runner out of the nest. C-Steve is on his first of three legs. He only has 6.5 miles with medium difficulty. I say medium because that is what Ragnar categorizes his first leg.

Ragnar uses difficulty ratings on each leg. These range from Easy to Very Hard. This is determined by using the length + elevation formula. They do not factor in the human part of the equation. What may be Easy for one may be Very Hard for another. Another one of my responsibilities as the Captain was assigning the legs to my runners. I had to not only look at the total miles but also the difficulty of the legs. Some made my decisions easier. C-Steve wanted the most total miles. I was wanting to be the last runner. I already had van assignments so that narrowed down the leg choices. I had two runners that wanted to only run one time but that did not work. I still pocketed their cash.

What was I thinking. I have a runner on the course. Back to C-Steve. On the Ragnar course there are no water stops like there are on your 5k's and such. The team has to get water to their runners unless they carry their own or have their biker do it for them. The biker. That is a seperate post all together. C-Steve told us to get water to him at about the three mile mark. Gave him a water bottle and he kept on going. He was trying to catch another runner just ahead. We drove to the next exchange so Millionaire could get ready. For some reason he needs a lot of time to get dressed.

C-Steve finished with band-aids still intact. He was excited and was talking a mile a minute.

C-Steve was so excited and ready to run again. He was talking a mile a minute as the saying goes. He was even talking smack to one of the teams that started with us. He almost caught there #7 runner. Game on he says. Atleast I think that is what he said. Remember, C-Steve is from the islands. He already talks fast. At this point he was talking so fast I started bidding on things I did not want to buy.

Ragnar rules state that any runner that starts after 4:30 pm has to wear a reflective vest, headlamp and rear red blinking light until 30 minutes past sunrise. Millionaire was not happy because he was going to have to wear the above for his first run of 6.8 miles. Now Ragnar puts that in the Hard categorie. Not for Millionaire. He breezed through that without any water from his team....per his request. He passed several other teams along the way.

B.o.b. was our #9 runner. Her first run was a Medium 5.1 miles. She was all worked up and nervous. Partly because her run was at night and along a busy, busy stretch of road. Also, I think because she was worried about her pace. Personally I don't think she gives herself enough credit on her running abilities. I have been with her on numerous training runs. She can run. I have been passed by her as well. You can run there B.o.b.b.y. Millionaire's in and now B.o.b. is off.

While B.o.b. was running, we would pull off to the side of the road and yell for encouragement. No water requested. She was running an awesome pace. Smiling all the while. Very busy road and on a Friday night. We stopped more often than we did for our first runners just to keep an eye on her. She also passed some other teams. B.o.b. is in and now time to get....uhmm, Funky?

Now P-Funk-U was tasked with our first Very Hard run. She was going to be running a hilly 8 miles. I would be riding with her on my bike. Again a Ragnar rule. You are allowed a biker during the night hours for safety. PFU is another one of those runners that is better than she thinks. She locks in to a pace and just goes. I have seen her times drop and drop during the year. She had just finished her first marathon a month earlier and gave me no complaints. Well she may have but I don't listen to her that much.

PFU's run started out in to a neighborhood where it was probably best seen at night but not travelled through at night. Not 200 yards in to her run she passes a house where there were 4-5 people standing in the front yard carrying on. A couple of the guys yelled out to her if she wanted a beer. She was polite and said no thank you. It was not like her. I mean not about her not taking the beer but she could have said yes and then given it to me. So I turned around and rode back to the house and yelled out if it was bottles or cans. Now a can would fit perfectly in my bottle cage. A lady yelled they were cans. One of the guys said the beer was not for me it was for the girl that was running. I said I was with her. They laughed and then said a few choice words for me. They were not nice. I said to myself what I say to my kids, "everybody has issues." PFU did have a very hard run. There were some long hills. She locked in on a pace and just kept going. She actually ran up on me a couple of times. I was very proud of her.

There was a guy ahead of us that was not in the race. He was just walking in our same direction while wearing earphones. When I got beside him he jumped so high that he almost fell over. The bad thing is that just when his heart probably started slowing down, PFU passes him. I look back and he just starts walking, real fast, in another direction. Remember that whole van pulling off to the side of the road and yelling encouraging slogans. I wonder if the new driver thought that was only allowed when I was driving. Just saying. We are on the last half mile and I have not seen our van yet. I tell PFU that I am going to ride ahead to the exchange and see if they are there. If not, then I suppose I will now be runner 11. Van 2 was there. How long they had been there is debatable but they were there.

To be continued.......

Painter's or Electrical?

What should Van 2 do now for the next 6-7 hours. That was the question once Van 1 rode off in the distance from Fred Howard Park for their first legs. Should we go back home and take naps. Some of us were tire already. Should we go shopping. I mean Christmas was a month away. Should we follow Van 1 in case we were bored. Bored with this bunch. Should we go eat for a while. Shoney's or Ci Ci's. Should we go to a movie. New Moon was just released.

First things first. Let's get that van of ours decorated. That was left up to B.o.b., Red and P-Funk-U to get done. One thing I have learned about B.o.b. is that she loves to decorate stuff. Make posters. Write on sidewalks with chalk. Make pottery. She can work a kiln. Stay inside the lines when coloring. And can crochet a mean toaster blanket.

B.o.b. made three posters for our van. She brought silver garland and Christmas lights for the roof rack. She loaned the lights to Van 1. We later got some new lights and put those on and had them working for our night runs. The posters were taped on the hood and sides of the van. We were now ready to find something else to do. We only had six hours and ten minutes to fill.

Now the next paragraph is dedicated to the anonymous poster questioning my teasing methods. I actually spoke to this fellow running comrade of mine and we exchanged some good ideas about MY blog.

We were only about 4 miles from the starting line when the poster on the hood blew right off and over the van to never be seen again. Well I am sure some weekend work release person saw it but we never did. This is when we realized that we should have taped our posters using painter's tape and not electrical tape. Or never tape items on the hood. A little re-taping and we were off again.

Our first stop. Food. Some brought food and decided to dig in. Three wanted Subway. I wanted McDonalds. Now keep in mind we all have to run in a few hours but I had the longest down time. So I did not order a vanilla shake. I got the filet-o-fish meal and a McDouble. I ate it all. That was some good food. I only had to run an eight miler in eight hours.

We still had 4 or so hours to go. We stopped by the movie theater and checked what was playing and when. We could not all decide on a movie to see other than New Moon. Personally I did not want some cranked up chicks riding in the van all night after watching some half naked wolfmen on the big screen. Just sayin'....

So we ended up at Barnes and Noble. C-Steve and the Millionaire found a place to nap. I read magazines with the girls. It was like being in a live Cosmopolitan magazine. The things they talk about would make a grown man blush or wonder. P-Funk-U told me about this magazine called Smooth. I had to get one off the shelf that was not covered in plastic and brown paper. Wow. I can see where Sir Mix-A-Lot got his inspiration. Wow. Ladies never worry about something not fitting you. It will fit someone.

I got a call from Van 1 telling me that runner 6, Milsaps, was about two miles from the exchange point. Time for us to head that way.

Exchange 7 was in a parking lot where the team vans parked and waited on their runners. This was considered a big exchange since both vans would be on site. The runners actually changed on a sidewalk. Our first runner was C-Steve. He was ready to go. Band-aids and all.

Most of you guys that run out there realize that we are sissies when it comes to our nipples. Shirts, long miles and nipples do not go together without a band-aid or two. C-Steve is no different. Well maybe he is. He does not wear a shirt when he runs. He still wears the band-aids. As my mother would say, "to each his own." I would say, "that's weird."

Milsaps was in sight now. He was wearing a Where's Waldo outfit. Must have been hot in that long sleeved shirt and hat. Having fun is what I wanted from my team. He passes the slap bracelet off to C-Steve and now Van 2 is on our way.

Teaser alert: Van 2's First Legs.....

Two For Teen Now

The day after Christmas I drove the wife and kids to Atlanta to visit family for a few days. This was requested by my daughters. Especially my youngest who would be turning 13 and was wanting to have chicken and waffles from Gladys & Rons in downtown Atlanta. More on that later.

I do enjoy getting out of the flats for the hills every once in a while. It's the drive that is a pain in the butt. And would you believe I still have passengers that ask, "are we there yet?" It's not like I still make them ride in the trunk. There is one thing I can guarantee when driving in Georgia it is that if your trade is lining up those orange barrels on the highway or driving in the left lane about 10 miles below the posted speed limit, then you will always be employed. If not for those two careers, the drive from our home to our destination would be about 6 hours and not 10. And the highway patrol gets all sneaky now. Hiding up in the woods with some kind of gun looking thing that they call a laser. To me it looks like they are pointing a gun at me so I definitely slow my butt down. Plus again when you know the tricks of the trade you tend to be a little more of a risk taker.

Our first scheduled stop was to be in Columbus, Ga to have lunch with my used to be step-father and his wife. It sounds complicated but remember I am from the South. My brother and his family were going to also meet us there.

While en route to Columbus, I kept seeing all these signs for pecans. I am a lover of pecans. That is pronounced pee-kins. I started saying it that way because I just felt like it and I enjoy controversy. Even when it comes to the pronunciation of the English language. Plus there were those that felt the need to correct me. But depending on where the corrector is from, they also say it different ways. And I noticed the more I said peekins, they would start saying peekins. I remember a story about a dog that would....well anyways I digress.

I stop at this roadside stand selling peekins, peanuts, jellies and the sort. They also had homemade peekin pies, chocolate chip peekin pies, cracked peekins, shelled peekins and peekin butter. Now the place was on the property of a peekin farm. Can you explain why the peekins were still so expensive. I mean all you had to do was put a bucket under the peekin tree and shake. I ended up buying a bag of cracked peekins and two small peekin pies. So which is it. PEEKIN or pecan.

We get to Columbus and caravan to a family owned restaurant named Cooks Place. They are supposed to be known for their hotdogs. This is where my step-father likes to eat. He grew up in Columbus and has been eating there for years. It was one of his high school hang outs. He later became a teacher at the same high school. Oh and the chili dogs were good.

After a few hours visit, we headed north to Canton which is just north of Atlanta. I put all the kids in my brothers car and took the wife and sister-in-law with me. They were actually noisier than the kids were because the kids just put their i-pods in and text everyone. These two actually talked. And boy, that sister-in-law of mine sure did dog out my brother.

That night the grown-ups went out for dinner. A place I like to visit while visiting is called Taco Mac. It's not the food. It is the 100 different drafts and over 300 bottled beers they have. I have never been a fan of the basic domestic beer like Bud and Miller and such. I like to try different beers when given the opportunity. My brother and I will look and the beer menu and lay this game of you pick, I pick. If you don't finish the beer that was picked for you, then you have to buy the next round. We go for the high alcohol content. I have a little more knowledge about beer types than he does. I picked this one beer, more like a beer/wine/lager, for him. Needless to say, the next few beers were on him. Not a late night cause it would be the youngest 13th b-day in the morning and it wouldn't be right for daddy to have a hang over and try to make breakfast.

The b-day girl got to plan the day. She wanted to go shopping and use all her gift cards from Christmas. The place we went was Atlantic Station in Atlanta north of Georgia Tech. I don't mind shopping. I like to people watch and occasionally will try on clothes. I have never been afraid of certain stores either. But I found myself just following my wife and daughters in to Victoria's Secret. I mean they do sell other things besides woo-woos, right. Like perfume and stuffed animals. But once my oldest one started looking at the undies that her mother should have been looking at, I had to walk away. Well I actually ran away from the store and waited across the street. Now what struck me as odd was that my daughters were the only ones that left the store carrying one bag each. And so it goes. Another reason I don't do laundry.

The new teen also wanted to go to Gladys and Ron's Chicken and Waffles. It is a soul food type of restaurant in downtown Atlanta. Gladys Knight is part owner and some of the dishes are from her recipes. We had been there once before and it was great. I discovered the restaurant by accident while watching Man vs. Food on the Travel Channel. The Chicken and Waffles are excellent but so is the baked chicken, smothered chicken and to top it all off. An order of sweet potato cheesecake was brought out for the b-day girl. And Gladys herself sang happy birthday. Well it was pre-recorded over the speakers. If you are ever in Atlanta I do suggest you stop by Gladys and Rons and gorge yourself. You will not regret it.

So I now have two teen daughters. Oh lordy. People comment that I don't have any gray hairs. Hell they don't want to stick around. Actually I have no complaints, officially. They are both great in school and stay out of trouble. And no questionable boys have been brought home. Yet.

They know their daddy loves them and would do anything for them. Except eat popcorn in their rooms. Wish me luck.