Pilates. Is that French for "I'll kick your ass"?

Having already posted a story about my Hot Yoga adventure it is only fair that I do the same for a recent Pilate's session.



I am at the Y on the spin bike minding my own business. I am just about 10 minutes in to my hour work out when Speedy Jan (Ragnar Half Nuts) suddenly appears in front of me out of nowhere. Hence the name Speedy Jan. I figured she was just going to say hi and give me encouraging words. Nope.


"Want to do Pilate's with me?" At that point I am thinking that she is surely talking about something in the future. Like maybe January. You know. Part of some new triathlon training program since I am attempting an Ironman in 2011. So of course I say sure. And I just keep on spinning. She says c'mon then. Well when does the class start? In two minutes. Fight or flight is on my mind. I have no mat. I will get you one. Damn. Just like that Speedy is gone. Damn. Damn. Damn. I knew I should have gone to the Y earlier. As I am getting off the bike a woman says, "so you're going to do Pilate's? Good luck." Damn.


I get in the room and tell SJ that I would like to be in the back of class so as not to be laughed at. At least that is where B.o.b. put me when I went to hot yoga and I didn't even ask her to. What are friends for. So there my mat lays right up front. Who are my friends? Again, just like hot yoga, low male participation. I see two other guys. One that does triathlons and the other guy was yapping with three young ladies. We all know why he was here.


I asked SJ how much downward dog we would be doing. Oh you will pray for downward dog. Enough of the damn's already.



We start standing and doing some light stretching. This was probably about the easiest it was going to be. I try not to look in the mirror so I would not see what everyone else could see. I then start to realize that I am not as flexible as I thought. Now to the fun stuff.



We lay on the mat and start the ab/core work. Again I realize that I have lost some of my flexibility. I can blame it on the Christmas season and not my desire for craft beer lately.

Now we are told to lay on our side and lift our leg that is on the floor towards the ceiling. Do what? And then make circles with that same leg. I raise my hand instead to ask if it matters how high I raise my leg. Just do the best you can I hear. Small circles. Big circles. Stretch forward and then reach back. All with this same leg that is on the ground. Again more circles. My ass is burning. No really. I smell smoke.

We are then told to turn over and do the same thing again with the other leg. Why did I know this was going to happen. I look back at SJ and she is just a smiling. Hopefully not at me. Yeah right. Thanks again SJ. What seemed like hours was only 10 minutes. Are you kidding me.

Below is what SJ's circles were and what my circles were during this mess.

Needless to say we can see by this example who is in better Pilate's shape. Well pretty much everyone in the room was on the left. I was told by SJ after class that this was a stand-in instructor and the class is usually harder. Great way to convince me to return.

All kidding aside, it was not as hard as I made out to be. Yeah right. You keep on saying that to yourself Walt. I do thank SJ for asking me to go to the class with her. I would not have done it on my own. I will do it without her in the future so I can put my mat in the back of the class. SJ now owes me a hot yoga class. I can't say one is easier than the other. The fact that I am willing to do the hot yoga again before the Pilate's may say something though.

A new year is on the horizon. May you find yourself in 2011. If you found yourself in 2010 then help someone find themselves in 2011.

Begaga.