Sunday, February 7, 2010

Running with "The Twins"

Yesterday morning, as part of my half assed marathon plan, it was time for me to run an 18 miler. I was not alone. I decided, as always, to take the "twins" along. More on those guys later.

The weather was great. High 50's, clear and a little wind during the first 14 but a terrible head wind for the last 4. The course is out and back for 9 miles and I needed to run 18. So if my math is correct, I would need to run out and back....bare with me a second. Okay now, carry the 3. Add the 4 because of the stop light. Alright now factor in that pie thing. Subtract 7. Presto. Out and back twice for 18 miles. Yippee. As a side note. Have you had any peecans lately?

I run with members of the Brandon Running Association. We have a great group of runners and walkers and yappers and just those that go to the party's to socialize and feel loved. We have a weekly running schedule that includes a hill day, a speed work day and a long run. There are group runs everyday but Friday. There is also this run on Sundays called a "recovery run". Now I just don't understand how part of a recovery would include something that got you feeling beat to hell to begin with. Would a recovering alcoholic drink just a little bourbon to take the edge off. If that's the case then when is the next meeting. Hi. My name is Walt.

Our long runs are on Saturday mornings. With such a big group of runners you are also going to have numerous paces. Our schedule maker, Club President Elton, does a great job of setting the start times so that each pace group should finish together just in time to make a breakfast trip to Panera's. Now the start times and distances are not set in stone. As a free runner, you can decide how far you want to run and when to do it. I sometimes fall in to this category. I am sort of in between paces for the most part. So it's just me, the "twins" and my mp3 player out there on the long ones.

I started late of course. Go figure. B.o.b., Holly and Slappy Dee were already out on the course. They had a two mile lead on me. All three of them are improving greatly in their marathon training. Don't let B.o.b. ever fool you on her blogs about her running woes. She is kicking it and should make her goal of a 4:15 marathon. I felt pretty good during the first, I don't know, nine miles. This was the first out and back and is also when I saw my car. I could have gotten inside of it and just driven away. But no, I could not do that to my fan base. What would they think. Plus I was gaining ground on the trio. Holly would be the tough one to catch. So I thought. I underestimated the other two. I managed to close the gap on B and SD to within a quarter mile with two miles left. This is when I imagine their conversation was as follows.

B.o.b. "Look at him behind us trying to catch up."

Slappy Dee "Yeah. All about to cry."

B.o.b. "Let's show him what training can do for ya."

Slappy Dee "With a little booty mix."

B.o.b. "Booty mix?"

Slappy Dee "I don't know. It just sounds good."

They were off and I was smoked. And again B.o.b., thanks for that chocolate milk. It tasted great.

Now to the "twins." I have these "twins" that just hang around with me all the time. And I have no plans of parting with them any time soon. They just need to quit playing hide and seek on my long runs. Their game is not without pain. I mean they find the furthest places away from home to hide. Thank goodness for elastic waist bands.

I am trying to figure out if it has something to do with clothing, temperature, positioning or all three. There isn't much I can do about the positioning. They pretty much have lived in the same place all their lives. Maybe some stretching exercises before I run could help. Couldn't hurt. Well not much. These would have to be some exercises I can do alone and not with the group. I have tried to let the "twins" lead during the run but they usually get tired and look for somewhere else to go. Hence the hide and seek.

As far as clothing goes. I have tried running shorts. Regular shorts. Biking shorts. Nothing seems to work all the time.

I will give the "twins" some credit. They don't play bad all the time. It seems more so during the long runs when there is a chill in the air. I have figured it must have something to do with the temperature. So I am designing running shorts that have a crotch pocket where you can put one of those camping hand warmers inside. That should do the trick. It would give the true meaning of sweaty.... Well you get the point.

Now I am off to the drawing board.


  1. There is also this run on Sundays called a "recovery run". Now I just don't understand how part of a recovery would include something that got you feeling beat to hell to begin with.
    Have to agree with you on this one! IT should be called an "Easy run", because that is what it really is.

  2. I can not believe you just ended this post talking about the twins. Seriously.

  3. Best. Post. Ever.
    And I'm totally with you about the so-called Recovery Runs. But I would equate it with the phrase "hair of the dog."
    So sorry to hear about your unfortunate times with the twins. To me, it just sounds like an excuse in the making for you not setting a PR at the gasparilla marathon. just saying...

  4. I'm with Kalani on this. I'm dying over here at my desk.

    Thanks for the kudos too.

    And Slappy Dee totally said "booty mix."

  5. Just found your blog. That was hysterical! Run on!

  6. Just saw you blog when I followed BOBs instructions. Awesome post... absolutely hilarious! Ok now YOU, BOB, and the red head are tasked with making a podcast for me to listen to during long runs. Seriously-- with the 3 of you, you could sell that stuff!

    Happy-- and ummm warmer-- Running!

  7. Best.Post.Ever.
    And I thought our twins were a problem!

  8. This is too funny! Thanks B.o.B. for sending us over here!

  9. LMAO! If girls can blog about their "twins" then so can we! Great post!

  10. Great post. I think it might be time for a twin-ectomy.

  11. dude you're going to lose your twins if you keep talking smack about b.o.b. like that.

  12. Enjoyed your post. B.o.B. sent me :) Glad to see that girls aren't the only ones who need to ensure support of the "twins."

  13. ROFL... the twins!!!

    I got a new giveaway on my blog... so check it out.

  14. Wow! Just found your blog, thanks for a good laugh! That was great! I hope you don't mind my following,and I hope your engineered shorts work out for you!

  15. Captain Nuts - what you didn't hear us say is:

    B.o.B: "What's all that moaning noise behind us?"

    P-Funk (a.k.a. Slappy Dee -whatever the hell this means): "Gee, I wonder if the Icy-Hot powder we mixed with his talcum is kicking in yet??"

    All this time we thought the look of intensity on your face was determination! ;-)

  16. TMI - thanks for sharing - I wonder if others have this "twins" problem - thankfully I do not!! I don't think many others have them - maybe get some bigger "shorts"!