The Smithendorf Files

I'm Baaaaack...Did You Miss Me?

2012-03-01T08:16:00.002-08:00

I decided to take the month of February off. And to top it off, there was an extra day thrown in there this year. I had to recover from January. I had to do some mending and I also had a big case of writer's block. Not that I didn't have lots to say. I always have plenty to say. I just couldn't put it on paper.

Well as the title says, I am baaaaack. My aches and pains in the knee have seemed to disappear. I thought for a while there I was going to have to get an MRI. I just backed off my running and added swimming and biking instead of the co-pay. Seems I was having more aches and pains when I was just running. I have gone a week of 30+ miles running with no pains. Well I also bought new shoes which helped. I started swimming with a masters group which really pushes my ass. It's one thing to swim back and forth at your own leisure but another to keep from having the pool closed because you couldn't get out of the pool before you threw up.

Swimming? Biking? Running? Sounds like I am training for a triathlon. Well as a matter of fact I am. Tis' the season. You true triathletes know what I am talking about and should be getting excited. I have a new strategy and focus this year which will be revealed at Escape from Ft Desoto. This will be my first race of the season. I will also use this race as a warm-up for St Anthony's. I am hoping to PR at St A's this year. It is within reach.

Sorry this was a short post. I could only put my fingers in up to the second knuckle. Just warming them up.

It's Time For Her To Fly

2012-01-30T14:58:00.000-08:00

It is bad when a race pacer becomes the pacee. This is what happened at the ING MEami Half Marathon yesterday. I was dropped by the person I was pacing. Yikes.

The past three half marathons I completed were playing the part of a pacer. I helped Kristen, a fellow BRA member, PR on all of them. At least 2 & 11/13.1 of them.

I was originally signed up to do the MEami marathon until I developed a knee injury about 3 weeks ago. At that point my training slowed and also my motivation. I then convinced Kristen to let me pace her to a 3rd PR at the MEami Half. She agreed. Not sure if it was reluctant or not but I didn't have to pressure her...much. Part of me still wanted to do the full. I would pace Kristen to the 12.8 mile point and then be a game day decision on left for the half or right for the full. This was on the assumption that my knee would improve. But I still didn't have the motivation for the full so I decided I would just do the half and save myself from any further injuries which could/would hamper much more important races around the corner.

So having that in mind, I also didn't care much about my nutrition the week leading up to the half. I ate at McDonalds several times during the week. On Saturday, the day before this race, I had a 24oz Corona at 8am on the ride to MEami. I had McDonalds for lunch. Several more beers later in the night. A sleeve of Girl Scout Trefoils at 10pm. I should have been better since I did have a responsibility to someone but I was thinking "it's just a half".

The MEami marathon was sold out at 25,000. Very intimidating to some. Including Kristen. We met at the corral and I told her the game plan. She was very nervous. She had also been having some ankle issues the past week and didn't want that to hinder her performance. I couldn't do anything about the ankles but I was able to calm her nerves about the race. Just run like it's a training run with your BRA friends. Run right behind me while it's crowded. If you start to fall back yell at me and I will slow down and pull you right back up. Take some type of liquid each chance you get except for the last mile unless your dying. I will set the pace so don't look at your watch.

Speaking of watches. I turn my Garmin on a few minutes before the start and I get the message batteries low. I have Kristen give me her Garmin and she takes mine. I was also wearing the GoPro so there will be video coming. I may need to do some editing first.

We start out towards the front of our corral which had been moved up to the starting line. We averaged about an 8:15ish through the first few miles. It was very humid. I think it was over 80% which as a Floridian we should be used to but it doesn't help. The first water stop was after the 3 mile mark. We fuel up and continue on. We start up one of the bridges when I hear Kristen yelling my name. I got lost in the moment and had picked the pace up a little bit and her ankles were also starting to hurt a little. I brought the pace down for her to get with me and then I gradually picked it back up some. Still hovering above 8:15ish to 8:30's.

I was starting to have some nice stomach cramps. I knew I needed to make a pit stop at some point. I decided to make that stop just after mile 5. I told Kristen to keep the same pace and stay on the right side and I will catch up to her.

I took care of business and I damn sure felt better.

An observation here. Running on South Beach at about 7 a.m., you see who some of the party girls are. There were women in tight dresses and high ass heels walking down Ocean. I don't know if they were coming from or going too breakfast. Or maybe it was the "walk of shame".

Off now to catch Kristen. She either had a damn good pace going or my break was longer than I thought. It took me 28 minutes to catch her. I thought for a while maybe I missed her at one of the three water stops I passed. I was running about 8:08 or better. I was so wanting to catch her hoping I could drop the pace at that point. My knee was also starting to hurt more than I expected. I should have slowed my pace and realized I had the miles to catch her.

I then saw her just after the 8 mile mark. I was happy. Turns out she was too. It was at this point when she starts to slow and needed me there for the push. I told her she was doing great.

We did slow the pace to just above 8:40, but we were well ahead of a PR on the current pace. My knee started hurting a little bit more. But I was also getting tired. I misjudged the "it's just a half". We kept the same pace to just about the 10 mile mark. Kristen was running strong. No complaints. Or at least she wasn't saying them out loud.

It was at this point I realized that she was now becoming the pacer. I gave her her Garmin back and told her that she needed to wear it in case I had to stop because of my knee. The truth was that I knew I was going to have to stop but not because of my knee. I was getting tired and she was wearing me out. This was her race. I wanted her to have her watch so she could get the time when she crossed the finish line.

She pulled away from me before mile 11 and I was able to catch back up but only for a short distance. I slowed and she didn't. It was time for her to fly and not return to the nest.

I ended up walking a little and then hobbled in to the finish. I shall race another day. I am of the philosophy that "I run because I want to. Not because I have to."

So Kristen, can you pace me on my next half? Great job.

Good Guys 4...Bad Guys 0...or a PSA

2012-01-17T17:56:00.000-08:00

This post is a few weeks overdue. I had to wait til the dust, bonds and attorneys settled.

I spent the week after Christmas with my daughters and family in Georgia. Two of the days during the week were spent skiing in North Carolina. I was sort of in mid-training form for the Miami Marathon. I counted the two days of skiing as cardio but couldn't log my miles because I forgot to wear my Garmin. Oh well. I know I sweated none the less.

I wanted to get atleast one run in while out of town. The only day I had available was the last Friday of the year. I was going to go to Kennesaw Mountain National Park and use my GoPro to film my run. I was actually excited to do this run. I should also mention that I love my new GoPro. You should check out some of my videos on Youtube. Santa brought it to me. Thanks again Santa.

Kennesaw Mountain was the site of the Battle of Kennesaw Mountain during the 1864 Atlanta Campaign of the American Civil War, in which the Union forces of General William Tecumseh Sherman launched a bloody frontal attack on the Confederate Army of Tennessee, which was commanded by General Joseph E. Johnston. Federal judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis, the first commissioner of Major League Baseball, was named after the battle, in which his father nearly lost his left leg. That's a brief history of the mountain.

I checked on line and found out that there were over 15 miles of running trails in and around the park. I needed to do a long run but did not bring my trail shoes for this trip. Should I use that as an excuse to shorten my mileage. Hey why not. I figured I would do the one mile up hill run for starters and then head to The Varsity for my chili dawgs, onion rings and a frosted orange.

I got to the park in the mid-afternoon only to discover this place was pretty damn popular with the tourists, local runners and turns out the thugs. There was no parking in the main lot so I had to drive to the new overflow parking lot. This lot looked like it would hold about a hundred cars. There were probably 30 or so cars scattered about. Some people were leaving from their cars to go to the park and some others were returning to their cars.

I found my place to park and was finishing up a call with a friend when something in the rearview mirror caught my attention. I continued my conversation and started scanning my rearview mirror and side mirror. I saw a guy wearing a black hoodie standing between two cars. He was facing one of the cars making a punching motion. He also had something large and white wrapped around his hand. For a brief second I thought he was brushing snow off the back of the car. I only thought this because I had just been skiing for two days. I was quickly brought back to reality when I remembered the temperature was in the mid 60's. He then pushed his hand towards the car again and made a circular motion. He was clearing all the broken glass from the car window. I told the person on the phone that I would call them back because someone is breaking in to a car. I called 911.

I then saw the hoodie thug climb in to the car he was facing. He was then out of my view. I was on the phone with a 911 operator. This was the first time I ever used my cell phone to call 911 and it worked like a charm.

I then saw two purses being thrown from one car to a white minivan that was next to the car that was broken into. This made me furious. People work hard for their stuff and no one has a right to take it without their permission. Do you hear that Congress and POTUS. The thug with the hoodie then climbs out the car window and falls to the ground. He then gets in to the white minivan and the van starts to drive away just as a woman is walking to her car which was parked in front of the van. She was not aware that something had even happened.

I pull in behind the van as it exits the parking lot. I am still on the phone with 911. I then notice that the tag on the van is from out of state. I needed to do what I could to make sure these thugs get caught. If I lose sight of them, they may never be found.

I have spent a lot of time watching CSI, Car 54, Starsky and Hutch and COPS so I knew what I needed to say to the 911 operator so she didn't tell me to stay away.

I stay behind the minivan for the next 8 or so miles while saying the right things to 911. The van's occupants had no idea I was on the phone behind them. It was my duty as a citizen to be the best witness I could be. I could have turned the other way and got my run in. You know there are some out there that would have. They were no physical threat to anyone so there was no need for me to take physical action. Now had they been robbing someone that would have been different.

The calvery finally stopped the minivan blocks from the interstate entrance. I was now in a live COPS episode of my own. Four guys busted. All belongings returned to the owners. If I am going to miss a run this is a good reason for it. I still got my Varsity in though. A chili dawg. Onion rings. A slaw dawg. A large coke.

My PSA for you is to remember to put your belongings in your trunk or under something in the backseat. Dont just leave your stuff out for all to see. When someone is breaking in to cars, they look in the car from the outside first. If nothing is seen then they will move on to the next one. Or you could just leave an opened dirty diaper in the driver's seat. Thugs don't like dirty diapers.

A Repost for Christmas...Miss You Mom

2011-12-24T15:07:00.000-08:00

I am reposting this because it was one of those funny stories in my life that happened around Christmas time. I miss you very much mom. The girls are so big now and still miss you so.

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING

For those little readers, this story in no way claims there is no Santa. Sometimes Santa gets so busy that he gets a head start on gifts by leaving them in places well ahead of schedule.

I was raised, for the most part, in a single parent household. It was my mother, sister, brother and myself. I was the oldest of the kids so I got to play dad a lot when my mom would work late or have to go out of town on business. I would cook dinner. Help with homework. Make sure chores were done. And occasionally make my brother wear his breakfast after school because he did not eat it that morning. Times were different then. I say "then" meaning the late70's early 80's. Plus my brother is twice my size now and I don't think I could make him wear his breakfast anymore.

I was a KISS fan growing up. I had the KISS Alive II album. Yes. I said album. Some of you out there still remember vinyl? They say it is making a comeback. I had the KISS dolls and the comic books that were supposed to have their blood in the ink. I was Ace Frehley for Halloween. I was able to go to a KISS concert with my cousin at the Omni in Atlanta. That was only my second concert ever. My first was John Denver and Starland Vocal Band with my mother.

The year was 1978 and KISS was coming out with solo albums: Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley and Peter Criss. Each cover was of their face. I asked Santa for those albums. I was not sure if I would get them but they were the only things on my list. I also figured I was a good boy that year and only abused my sister and brother a little.

We lived in a two story house with an attic. I had discovered the previous year that Santa liked to hide presents in our attic about two to three weeks before their official arrival date. One of those things you find out when mom works late and you look for new places to hide from your brother. I would spend a lot of time in the attic just looking at my toys to be and visualizing what it was going to be like on Christmas morning. I would hate it when I found out my brother was getting the big Tonka trucks. They hurt when thrown at you.

During one of my attic visits, I saw all four KISS albums just leaning against some other toys. Was I dreaming. Were they really there. They began calling my name. Hold us. Look at us. See our song list. LISTEN to us. What? LISTEN to us. Now? NOW. The only way I can do that is to take you guys from the attic and put you on my record player. Oh, come on. We won't tell. Damn that Gene Simmons.

I took all four albums to my room and carefully sliced open the cellophane so as not to leave any evidence for the naked eye. My plan was to listen to each album for a little while and then return them before mom got home. I said that was my plan. It worked out well at first. Damn that Paul Stanley.

I began to get greedy. I would keep the albums in my room for a couple of days at a time. I sometimes played them while my mother was home. As long as I hid the album covers, she would not know the songs if she walked in my room. About three days before Christmas, I returned them back to the attic for the final time so that Santa could make sure they made it under the tree.

On Christmas Eve morning my father would pick us kids up and take us to our Grandparents for dinner and gift exchanges. He would bring us back home that night. On the way home we would listen to the Santa report on the AM radio. All I could think about was officially listening to my KISS albums in the morning.

We get to the house and my mom tells my dad that she needs to talk to him. I don't think anything of it. I then get called in to my mom's room where they are both standing by her bathroom. She said she wants to show me something in the bathroom. I walk in and see the four KISS albums leaning against the vanity mirror. I smile as if surprised. There are also three more KISS albums next to them minus Peter Criss. I am really surprised then. I am thinking there must have been some kind of miscommunication issue with a family member. Why buy me more KISS albums. I was WAY off base.

My mother explained to me, in that tone that only a mother can use and not get the law called on her, what had happened. She was in the attic conducting an inventory when she noticed there were no KISS albums. She looked all over the attic. She checked it twice. I know by now who was naughty and who was nice. She remembered paying for them but thought that maybe she left them at the store. She went to the store and spoke with a manager, again using that tone that only a mother could use. She was told that there were no KISS albums found. She bought three more KISS albums. She did not buy Peter Criss because my grandmother was going to do that. When she went back in to the attic to put the new KISS albums up she saw the first ones there. Now how could that be. Did she overlook them the first time. She picked one up and discovered, with her naked eye, that it had been opened. She also saw that the other three had been opened as well. Busted I was.

"What do you suppose we do about this?" She said to me. I should have thought about my response before I just blurted it out. "Why don't we take back the unopened ones and buy me something different," my knucklehead said. Don't say another word. "And I can take back the one that nanny is giving me and get a different album." There. I said it. Let's just say that my idea was not entertained. I was told that from now on I would be helping put out the toys each Christmas since I knew where they were being kept. My gifts would not be kept in the attic. Probably not even on the property. And the official listening party for the KISS albums would be sometime in March.

That is how I became one of Santa's many helpers. And to you kids out there. CD's are much harder to open secretly.

79...

2011-12-08T13:21:00.000-08:00

It's coming...

78

2011-12-06T19:36:00.000-08:00

The Pacers Did It All For The Nookie

2011-11-29T17:46:00.000-08:00

I remember when Dorcas first asked us BRA members for some assistance in pacing for the St Pete Women's Half Marathon. I walked away...nope...I ran away from her fast. You see I have problems pacing myself so how could I be responsible for pacing a bunch of women during a race. I manage to piss off a few women in my life on my own and didn't need to add dozens more with some whacked out pacing mess. A man sometimes has to realize his limitations but I also have a problem with that as well.

As time went by, I decided to give that pacing thing a try. I was going to pace the 2:00 hour group. I could do this. I also got a little nudge from C-Steve who had already signed up for the 2:00 group. Plus Dorcas has done so much for me and my fellow BRA'ers that I felt I owed it to her to give back to HER race and what guy doesn't want to be chased by a group of beautiful women.

C-Steve was glad I was doing it. C-Steve was very nervous about not being able to do it. He was so concerned about being too fast or too slow and having to catch up. I told him to relax. WE GOT THIS. We were supposed to practice pacing but never did. Or at least I didn't. I am currently training for the ING Miami Marathon and have been running faster than pace. There again...pacing issues. C-Steve is also training for the same race. We both have training plans but figured this one race would not hurt our plans. And I for one get more from helping others on their runs/races than I do mine. I have plenty of medals just sitting in a box.

C-Steve and I rode together to the race. Want to guess who drove. C-Steve was quite the chatter box on the way over. He was planning out our pacing strategy. I was telling him all was going to be fine. Just relax. WE GOT THIS. Plus I wouldn't wear a kilt for nothing.

We made our way to corral number two. C-Steve was already holding his 2:00 pace stick high in the air. I had shaved my head the night before and had Dorcas write 1:59 on the back of my head with a black marker. I told the women in our group that if you don't see the sign just keep looking for the back of my head.

Before the race started we gave our pace group a little pep talk. We told them we were all in this together. We did our best to explain the whole pacing concept. I also told them that at mile eleven I will pick up my pace by 30 seconds to a minute in order to finish under the two hour pace. We both told them to stick with us and they would definitely finish at two hours or better. Lots of smiles, cheers and positive looks on their faces.

We were able to start our group pretty close to the start line. We crossed the timing mat about 19 seconds after the start. We should be able to hold the pace from the get go. C-Steve and I were both wearing a Garmin, a regular watch and a pacing chart that C-Steve had made. The pacing chart proved to be the most reliable piece of equipment we used.

The first few miles were very good. The women were talkative and responsive to shout outs. There were times when I had to interpret for C-Steve. We were running on a brick street and he was saying watch your ankles. The women moved to the left side of the road just before the turn. He said it again and a few women yelled out, "but there are no turns for a while." I said he said ankles not angles.

At about mile 5 I really had to go to the bathroom. I told the group that I was going to run ahead to the porta potty. Do not follow my pace. I ran ahead and heard some of the women that got ahead earlier say to me as I passed, "I thought you were going to wait til mile 11 to speed up." I just going to potty. I finished just as the group was going by wit C-Steve and the group calling me out. Still on pace.

The course had us run out towards the St Pete Pier. This was into the wind. And for some reason the heat started to make an appearance. I told C-Steve to drop back and bring some of the stragglers up to us. We both switched doing this. I then noticed that we were losing more runners. I double checked our pace as we passed a clock at mile 8. We were about 20 seconds off. I picked it up just a little coming off the pier. At mile nine we were right on target.

Our group had shrunk and were not as lively as they were at mile four. The heat and pace was beginning to take a toll. We were on pace and had to realize that we were doing what we were supposed to do. At mile 10 I dropped back to bring a few runners back up. One of them was a fellow BRA'er who was doing her first half marathon. She was looking strong but started to fall back a little. She was with a group of about ten. I told them all that we could not let the 2:00 sign get any further from us. We needed to pick it up just a little. We managed to do that just before the mile eleven mark.

I looked back at the fellow BRA'er and told her this is the spot where I am going to take off. She nodded. I pointed to the back of my head and picked up the pace. C-Steve announced that 1:59 was taking off. The course had us run inside Tropicana Field. The Garmin still worked inside the dome.

I picked it up from 9:06 minute miles to 8:00 miles. I looked back and had a few women coming with me. A few said we must stay with 1:59. I then caught one of the RunningSkirts women and she said, "great. The 2 hour group caught me." I told her that I ran ahead and she is still under 2 hours.

As I was inside the last mile, I looked back and noticed that two of the women that spoke to me before the race about PR's had dropped back. I stopped and waited for them. I was not there to run for me. Once they caught back up, I paced them to the last turn which is when you can see the finish line. There was this one lady that kept yelling at me, "WHERE IS THE FINISH LINE?" I just said keep running. You are almost there which is a term I hate to hear because it usually doesn't mean you are almost there. Almost for who?

I again looked back and did not see the BRA'er. I ran back to the last turn to wait. C-Steve came by and brought the group that was with him in at 1:59:48 or so. I spotted the BRA'er and yelled for her to pick it up. I think she said she was going to die. I said you can die at the finish line. I ran her in to a 2:00:40ish finish time. I have now been recruited to pace her to a 1:55 finish at the Brandon Half on 12/4. I have 18 miles to do that day as part of my plan. It ain't about me. I have 5 to do after getting her to her 13 I supppose.

In retrospect, this was one of my favorite races so far that I didn't race. I had a job to do that was not for me. I was there to get people to a place where they wanted to be and needed me to get them there. I remember a woman who came up to me and C-Steve after the race saying that she didn't beat 2 hours but this was her best race ever. Ask C-Steve about his non-Christian hug.

Many thanks to the other BRA'ers that paced. Josh, Steve, Tom, Elton, Chris and Jeff. I encourage anyone to be a pacer to experience that feeling. It's easy to say you are going to give back but it means a hell of a lot when you actually do. You can't run it for them but you can run it with them. C-Steve and I have already booked our spot for next year.

Thanks again Dorcas for the invite.

Saturday...A Motivation For The Oldest

2011-11-22T11:06:00.000-08:00

My oldest and I signed up to volunteer on Saturday morning at the bib/registration table.

My oldest had signed up to run the half as her first half. The previous week she had some heart issues on two occasions. One of those resulted in a minor seizure and a brief passing out episode. This caused her to be taken to the Cardiologist. He gave her a heart monitor to wear for 30 days. The monitor continuously records data and if she has any episodes, she has to push a button which will send the data to an off-site for up to date analyzing. I asked the doctor if I could get one. Shoot, two daughters. One that is 18 and reminds me everyday and the other that thinks she is already 18. I would be holding the damn button down 24/7.

Needless to say the oldest decided not to run the race because she wasn't sure how she would do having to wear the monitor. She still wanted to volunteer. She said it was the right thing to do. It wasn't Dorcas' fault she wasn't doing the race.

We were assigned the 7000 numbered bibs. This was for corral 7. It seems you were assigned a corral based on your predicted finishing time. And the 7000's were also late registrants. This was the first time that I worked a volunteer outing with my oldest. I would have to say I am very proud of her and told her exactly that. She was very encouraging to the women who had the attitude that they weren't sure they could do the race. "You can do it. This is why you are here. My daddy is pacing if you want some help. I think he is wearing a skirt to. And about the skirt. I know you have been out of the house but do we need to talk?"

Earlier in the year I volunteered at a Gasparilla sign up table. This time seemed more meaningful since I was with the oldest one. I was able to see how she reacted with people. She sure is a lot nicer than I am used to. I also got a great feeling of encouraging those that were doubting themselves before they even got to the starting line. Don't say "If I finish. Say, "when I finish."

During our assignment, the Co-Race Director came up to me and introduced himself. He then asked me if I was going to wear a skirt tomorrow. I said so the word has spread already. He said he saw me at the expo yesterday wearing it. I told him I had planned on it unless he did not want me to. This is his race and I did not want to be a distraction. He told me the pacers and men are encouraged to wear skirts. I said that was all I needed to hear. I just happen to look over my shoulder and see the oldest shaking her head no to him. I told her too late he already said it was okay.

After our assignment was over, the oldest and I walked to the expo. I had bought the oldest a book last year written by Kathrine Switzer and I knew she was going to be at the expo so I had the oldest bring the book. The oldest is not a reader and I reminded her to dust the book over before getting it signed. Ms. Switzer surprised me. She was more personable than I expected. She was not just sitting at a table signing a book and then off to the next book. She stood there and talked to the oldest for over 5 minutes. The oldest told her about her heart condition and Ms. Switzer was so encouraging about not letting minor setbacks get in the way of your goals. The oldest actually looked like she was listening. She then signed her book and also wrote a personal message. I then took their picture. I started to walk away when Ms. Switzer asked if she could give me a hug. I said sure. She then gave me a hug and told me she was happy for what I am doing regarding the oldest. Ms. Switzer had two new fans.

We then went in to the expo and said hello to Dorcas. I then stopped by the Runningskirts.com booth and said hello to the ladies. I then saw a guy from Fit2run buying a skirt for the race. Hey what is that all about. I was then told that he was not the only one. There was another guy walking around from another booth wearing one of their skirts. Great. A trend setter of getting guys to wear skirts. Super.

Sunday...It's a Kilt Darnit.

It's A Little Breezy Down There...

2011-11-21T12:01:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a weekend where everything you do just seems to go right? Where all just seems to fall in to place. Not from what you do alone for yourself but for what you do for others. I just had that weekend. Three days of it. I shall take you there but I must backtrack just a little.

I am a member of the Brandon Running Association which is a running club based out of Brandon, Florida. Check us out at brandonrunning.com or Brandon Running Association on Facebook. We have members from all walks of life and abilities. I must admit there are members that I don't know much about.

One of our members, Dorcas, works for Women's Running magazine. She came to us as a group over a month ago asking for volunteers and pacers for the half marathon. I initially blew her off so to speak because I did not want to commit to being a pacer when I wasn't sure what I would be doing on race day. Plus C-Steve had volunteered for the 2:00 hour spot and I figured he could handle it.

As time went by, I decided I wanted to be a pacer. I figured this could be fun and why not run with uhm 6,000 women. I talked with C-Steve and he told me he could use the help. I am not one to rely on for proper pacing. I DO NOT have pacing down but I shall give it my best. I have helped other BRA members on their long runs before and this is all it would be. Just help some ladies get to their goal.

Friday. I got off work and volunteered for the Pacer table at the Women's Half Expo. This is where I could help the ladies figure out what their goal was. Encourage them to get with a group that was just beyond their limit. I would get asked what this pacing thing was all about. "How fast do you want to go?" Convince them to stop saying "I can't" and start saying "I WILL." I converted a lot of women that day.

Some of you know that for some reason I like to wear different outfits when I run. Some call it costumes. I call it comfortable clothes. Either way I have fun with it and really don't care if others don't like it. I will say that I know my limits and try not to be offensive. So no jock strap only running. While I was at the Pacer table, I sent Speedy Jan and Gary to the expo to find me a plaid running kilt. Jan reported back that there was a booth that had some plaid skirts, I mean kilts, that had manly colors.

I found the Runningskirts booth. I was talking on the phone to Jan about the sizes when one of the ladies from Runningskirts was holding up a black plaid pattern skirt and saying to me, "this is the size for you." Seems word had spread already. I was then told I could have a great expo only deal if I put the skirt on now and wore it at the expo. Little did they know that I needed no encouraging because I am Walt. I don't think they thought I would wear them at the expo. I was given a pair of the athletic ones and went right to the changing tent. The first pair was a little snug. I was then brought another pair and those fit just right. I was "the hit of the party" some would say.

I walked around the expo with them on. Of course I got plenty of looks and comments. I will be honest, the kilt was comfortable. Not that I am choosing that as my only running option now but hey you will see me in them again.

I would like to thank Juli, Jodi and Julie at Runningskirts.com for their assistance and encouragement on Friday. So guys and girls if you want some awesome running skirt wear as well as other running outfits, go to Runningskirts.com and tell them that Walt sent you. I don't think that will get you any breaks but hey. I later found out that some other guys bought kilts for the race.

Next up...Saturday. Two Birds With One Stone.

Chapter 5 The Final Lap and an Awakening

2011-11-08T02:29:00.000-08:00

First I would like to apologize to my reader for the long delay in this post. I have written and re-written several versions of what happened on that final lap. I have told numerous people the story. I had different responses based on who I told. I told them nothing was planned and it all just fell in to place. As some say, "things happen for a reason" or "if it's meant to be it will be."

It's up to you to decide how you feel after reading this. You may tear up. You may laugh. You may put your face in a pillow and scream. Feel free to do all three. If you do decide to put your face in a pillow, I bet you can't hold it there for more than four minutes.

Here goes. I left off with me at about the 16 mile mark bending at the waist and being approached by a medical cart. The cart was already coming my way and not specifically for me. I heard a voice ask if I was okay. I said yes. I straightened up and started to trot. I had to trot or vomit.

I would definitely say I had hit the wall at this point. I was having physical and mental issues.

Take physical. I could no longer drink water or gatorade. I could not eat anything whether it was gel, a cookie or a pretzel. I think my tank was full but nothing was being absorbed. I was sick to my stomach. Numerous times I felt I could throw up but I did not want to let that happen. I was tired, sleepy and just wanted to lay down. I knew I had to keep moving. As long as I kept moving I was closer to the finish. There were also others, who looked stouter than me, walking behind.

Take mental. I was strongly considering stopping. It wasn't that I wanted to give up. I was just exhausted. I couldn't quit though. How would my family feel. How would my friends feel. They all came up here to see me finish and I can't have them feel like they wasted their time. And quiet frankly, how would I feel if I quit. And then I would have to go through all this mess again next year.

I had no voice anymore. When someone at a water stop would ask me what I wanted, I just had to point. Not that I was able to take anything down anyways.

I began to trot/shuffle/walk/jog/walk and so on. I needed to finish this second lap. All I was thinking was that I had one more lap. Can I do just one more lap?

As I came to the start/finish area I picked up my pace just a little. This had to be pure adrenaline because of the family/friends cheering. This was going to be my moment of decision.

I looked over at my support crew and motioned for my girls' mom, Aimee, to walk with me. Out of the group of people that were there, she was the only one that I could talk to about my possibility of stopping. I don't want to say quiting but that is exactly what was on my mind. I did not debate should I talk to Jan. Should I talk to either Steve? Should I talk to my girls? Should I talk to Elton? She was the right choice at the time. There was only one other person that I would have had walk with me at that moment but she was not there. I still miss you mom.

As I said in the prelude, I had moved out almost a year ago. Aimee could have just dropped the girls off to watch their dad and drive back home. I have given her so many reasons in the past to walk/trot/shuffle/jog/run away. And the last year was no different even after all the cards were put on the table. When you spend over 20 years together raising two beautiful daughters, you still have this need to support one another at times even when your not together.

I grabbed a cup of coke at the water stop. We walked together. I was still moving forward. I told her that I did not think I could do it. I wanted to stop. I was sick. She told me that I was not a quitter. That I trained to hard to quit. Just keep walking if you have to. You still have plenty of time. All you need to do is finish. I asked what would the girls think if I quit. She said this race is not about them or anyone else. "It is about you." You can finish.

She then gave me the ultimate kicker. "I will do the last lap with you." What? "I will do the last lap with you if you want me to." How are you going to do that? It is about nine miles and you have never run more than four. "Well I don't suspect you will be running the whole time. If you keep this pace I can do it. And if you run off from me then that will be good for you." I told her several times that she did not have to do this. All the while she continued to walk/trot/shuffle/jog/walk with me.

I then got some energy and started jogging to the next water stop. There she was, right beside me. I was able to drink some coke. Now back to the start area for the long out and back. I walked and trotted some. And there she was. I again told her that this was going to be about 6 or so miles. I'm here.

We get back to the start line. The rest of the crew was standing there cheering me on. Again seeing familiar faces does a body/mind/soul good. Didn't really give me any fuel but it does energize you a little.

Navy Steve then started yelling that I had this. Only a 10k to go. He started going along side me. I started thinking, do I continue with who was with me the last 2 miles or transfer her for Steve. Who was I kidding. I was at the depletion mode. Not much left. I knew that if Steve went with me, my mind would play tricks on me and we would be rolling in the next ditch because I would have had enough. Don't get me wrong Steve. You are an encouraging person and always willing to help. That is needed at times but this was not the time.

I continued on with the final six miles. I was able to drink coke at the water stops. I had to sit down twice and just sit. The course was very dark in spots and that also played tricks on the mind. I made it to the turn around and now it was 3 miles to the finish. There were a couple of more times when I had to stop and bend over with my hands on my knees. I felt a hand on my back but no words were spoken. I knew what it meant. I managed again to trot/jog/walk the final 3 miles.

When I had a little less than a mile to go I had a sudden surge of energy. Do I take off from my pacer to the finish? I looked at my watch and realized that I could still finish in under 15 hours. No. The pacer deserved to be at the finish. I told her that I was going to stop so she could run ahead and tell the girls and everyone else that I was coming. She jogged off.

I started running and caught up to her twice but again stopped. With about 100 yards til the finish I could see that she had made it to everyone and said I was coming. I then ran to the finish. For some reason I again had a sudden burst of energy. Probably because it was about to be over. I was going to finish when just over an hour and a half ago I was ready to throw in the towel.

I crossed the finish line and started getting asked all kinds of questions. I am sure it was medical related. I am not sure what I even said. I could barely talk anyways. They did not cart me off. I got hugs from all. Even C-Steve. I then laid on the ground. I remember looking up at everyone and they were all smiling. I was smiling too. I was so glad it was over. I then had these two guys all of the sudden appear. They asked me if I was okay and did I need to go to the medical tent. I said I was fine. For the last 10 miles all I wanted to do was lay down and here I lay.

As I said before, this race was more challenging than I thought it would be. All the way around. It challenged my mind, body and soul. The swim and bike seemed to be a breeze. The run caught up to me sooner than I wanted it to. I thought back about someone telling me I should run more after I bike. I will next time Jan. There were 100's of people, places and things going through my mind the last 15 hours. I would be lying if I didn't say that was the case the last 10 months.

Could I have finished the race without a pacer? Probably, but "things happen for a reason" so I hear.

I was asked later how I feel. One of the emotions was disappointment. I was upset at my marathon time. At times I felt like I was giving up to easy. I was told that I finished it. That was the important thing. I still don't buy that. If I did, then I would not strive to do better next time. Next time?

I would again like to thank my family for being there for over 16 hours. My friends for showing up and providing support. Elton, who was the biggest surprise of all, Tom, Kathy, Tanya, Veronica, Jan, C-Steve, Steve and Ben. I would also like to thank those that trained with me. Jan and Karin for the swims. Steve, Casey, Jan, Dave, Jess, Sean for the rides. And Tiesto for the runs. And yes I did go to McDonalds afterwards but all I had was a chocolate shake.

Well hell let's do this again next year. I have signed up for Ironman Florida Nov 3, 2012. Wish me luck. Seems I may not need it next time. Just sayin'.

Prelude To The Final Lap

2011-11-05T12:42:00.000-07:00

I feel it necessary to give a little history before posting the final lap of my GFT marathon.

At the start of this year for private reasons, I moved out of my house. It wasn't like a "hey I am going out to get a pack of smokes" move. It was what was needed at the time. I stayed in the local area so I could still spend time with my girls who I love dearly and always will regardless of how they feel about their father at times. I know how important it is to be there for them having grown up myself, for the most part, without a father in my life. And the fact they are girls, it's even more important to have a father deeply involved in their lives.

Not long after I moved, I got involved in a project. A project I was longing for. Sure I have had other projects before but this was going to be a project like no other.

At first I was skeptical. Was I ready? I had doubts that this would be the kind of project I needed. Should I give myself time to sort things out in my life before I put something else on my overflowing plate?

In order for this project to really work, I would need to put the time and effort in to it to reap the benefits. Did I have the time? Was it worth the effort?

This project was starting to take time away from my girls. I did not want this to happen but hopefully they would understand. I would make it up to them for the lost time on other days. The problem is, I may not get those opportunities to make it up. They are getting older and one will be off to college soon. I didn't want any "cats and the cradle."

The project was starting to take it's toll on me. Gone were the occasional times together. We were together six, sometimes seven days a week at up to eight hours on some days. I was so wanting to sleep in at times. Take a day away. Maybe back out. The project did its fair share of pushing back. Making me want to throw in the towel. But again, if I put all I had in to this project it would eventually pay off.

I was starting to notice a physical change for the good. And so were others. Maybe it was the lack of home cooked meals and the cutting back on visits to Brasstap or World of Beer. Nope. I will have to say it was the project.

The project was also starting to affect me mentally. Making me doubt myself. Was it me? Was I doing something wrong? Did I need to try something different or just stay on course and let it all come together.

My girls started wondering why I wasn't around as much on the weekends as before. Why I was so tired. Why I would fall asleep on the couch when visiting. I finally had to tell them about this project. I had them sit at the kitchen table. I told them it was time I take on a new challenge. Something to test myself. And it may also be something to take my mind off of all the other stuff going on around me. What is it they asked.

I have signed up for an ironman/ultra triathlon. Wow. They were more excited than I thought they would be. I told them the training was going to take a lot more of my time. Much of this time will be away from them. They seemed to be okay with it. At first I thought since I was out of the house they were already moving on. Maybe writing me off. I did not want that to happen. It's tough to see them pretty much everyday of their lives and then maybe 3-4 times a week. I know your saying, "hey, that was your decision there mister." Yeah I know but it was still hard.

I told them I could call off the project if they felt I was not being the daddy they wanted. Start another one a year or so from now. Again they were encouraging. Their mother was also supportive and always has been. She felt it was time and if it made me happy then give it my best.

I again reminded them to let me know if they felt I was slacking on my daddy duties. "I will be the first to let you know," the oldest told me. The thing about her is that she doesn't hold back.

I am reminded of something a friend of mine told me. He said he saw my oldest one at her job. He asked about me and she said, "My daddy is out riding his bike all day. He is training for one of those ironman races." He said she was smiling when she said this. For that I knew everything would be okay. In the long run.

Part 4. Miles 1-17

2011-11-03T19:24:00.000-07:00

So I left off with me getting off the bike feeling pretty good.

My run gear bag was given to me and I again entered the changing tent. I sat in a chair and took a deep breath realizing I was almost there.

I recently purchased sleeves for my calves for the marathon. I had worn some compression socks before and they did not bother me. I know people say that you shouldn’t wear or try something new for a race but I have been and will always be known as someone who doesn’t listen to “people.”

I also ordered some new spandex shorts from Spandees.com for the run. For some reason I tend to wear costumes, of some sort, to races or events. It just happens to work out that way. I figured I needed something to stand out during the run so there was no problem finding me. I talked to the owner of the company and we are working on something special for the Women's Half.

In the sport of triathlons, you can make up or lose valuable time in transition. A fast transition they say. Well here I am going to have to put on spandex shorts and compression sleeves while sweating and in a rush. So much for the fast transition.

Prior to putting my shorts on, I applied a half stick of Glide all over the twins and such. The shorts were easy to get on. I had worn and ran in them twice during the week just to make sure there were not going to be any issues. At least not for four miles. I did put some other shorts in my essential needs run bag just in case.

The next challenge was putting on the compression sleeves. They were brand new. I dyed them red the day before but other than that they were fresh out of the box. It must have taken five minutes to put each one on. I then put my socks on and realized I should have put my socks on first and then the sleeves. I did mention earlier that I learned many things during this race.
I put my shoes on. Put all my bike stuff in the run bag. The only bottle of sunscreen in the tent was empty. I took my bag out and then dug a can of sunscreen out of my bike bag. I sprayed myself good and headed out to some fresh cheers.

I ran to the port o let first to do a pee check. Uh oh. A little darker than before. Not good but no panic. I then headed out for the 26.2 of joy. I was currently on pace for a sub 13 hour finish. But who was counting?

The run course was three out and backs of the same length. The first out and back was about two miles and the other out and back was a 10k ish. The first short out and back was easy. Just warm the legs up and drink water. Seemed and felt easy enough.

I then passed the finish area to start the first of three long out and backs. I was met by Steve who had put age and race numbers on his calves. This was to appear that he was a participant. Although I appreciated his willingness to help/pace, I told him that it was too early for him. I would need him later like maybe during lap three. I just asked if I could use his Garmin. He gave it to me. It was different than the one I have so I did not try to change what was showing.

It was at the second water stop, just past mile 3, that I started walking. I only walked through the water stop and then picked it up again. I walked again through the next water stop. I then started noticing that the watch I was given would beep every time I walked. Not fair Steve. Now I started thinking, “oh great. Steve is going to be able to analyze my walk/run/walk/walk/trot/shuffle and I would hear about it later.” Later to me would be several days after the race. I found out that later was when I gave him the watch back at the end of lap one.

At about mile eight, I first began to notice that the marathon was going to be longer than I expected. I tried to eat a gel and could not. As soon as the liquid got in my mouth, I spit it out. I grabbed a few pretzels and was barely able to eat part of one. I knew I had to get some calories in. I was still able to drink which was a good thing.

As I was finishing my first lap, I saw another familiar face. Ben. Thanks again Ben. He had stopped by on his way to Orlando just to give me some shouts and take some pics. I want to reiterate that it does give you a bit of a boost when you see people you know on the course, especially when they have gone out of their way to get there. I heard Jan say as I ran by, “he still looks pretty good.” Little did she know.
Another encouraging word was when I heard some ladies say my shorts were the best ones they had seen all day. One mission accomplished.

I then headed back on the long out and back stretch. I was still walking through the water stops and then running, all be it at a slow pace. It was already starting to get dark. It was at about mile 15 or so that I started getting sick to the stomach. I think I filled up on liquid and it was not being absorbed. I began to walk when not at water stops now. I started to walk or stagger as if I had a few drinks. I still had my shorts on so it was only as if I had 2-3 drinks and not 4. I started feeling sleepy and just wanted to lay down.

I again tried to drink and eat something at one of the water stops. I could not. I was debating on throwing up but I had never done that in a race before and was not sure how I would feel afterwards. I also did not want to be seen by a medic and risk the possibility of being taken off the course.

The thought of quitting was definitely on my mind. I leaned over and put my hands on my knees. A golf cart with a medic just happened to ride up.

To be continued…..

Great Floridian Part 3 (The Bike)

2011-10-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

I left off with a visit to the strippers. Probably the shortest amount of time I have ever spent with a stripper. And it didn't cost me a dime.

I trotted to the changing tent. I was given my bike gear bag before going in. Once inside, I found a chair and changed clothes. I decided to wear biking shorts to give me the extra padding for the ride. I also put on a cycling jersey which gave me three pockets to put food/gels in. Spandex/cycling clothes are always a struggle to put on when you are wet and in a rush. I also had to put my wetsuit in a separate bag and put everything in another bag.

I finished dressing and headed out to my bike. I surprisingly had to pee but I guess it was a good thing as far as hydration goes. I ran to the port o let first. I was not going to pee all over my bike while on the course. My pee was still clear so that was a good sign.

I also had put on my Garmin during this time. I kept pushing the on button but it wouldn't come on. It had happened before but I forgot what buttons I pushed to get it back working. Oh well.

I grabbed my bike and started running it towards the bike start. I then saw that my girls had moved to this area. Again they were holding signs encouraging their "daddy". As I was mounting my bike, I told them, "I can't get my Garmin to work." I found out later that for some reason my oldest thought I said, "I am having cardiovascular farts." Now I can not figure out how that sounds like the other but okay. My oldest was not sure what that was but thought it sounded serious. So much so that she called her aunt and had her do a Google search to see what it was and how it would affect my race. Turns out there is no such condition. Whew for me and anyone behind me.

The bike course was no surprise to me. I was able to ride the course several times during the summer. I learned numerous lessons during those rides. Lessons about nutrition. Pace. Heat. Bike skills. Hills. Hydration. Myself. Relationships. Which bike to use. Gearing preference. Who's your daddy?

The start of the bike has several short climbs through a neighborhood. Just enough to get your legs a little tired. I had to concentrate on pace. That was my main goal. Of course with the adrenaline and fresh legs my pace was quicker than I wanted. I was averaging over 21 thru the first 10-15 miles. I then backed it off once I got on a long 8 mile stretch in to the wind.

The bike course is three laps. The first lap includes Sugarloaf which is a long steep climb as hills in Florida go. I was glad I decided to go with an 11-28 rear cassette and a compact crank. The climb up Sugarloaf was not bad at all. Again familiar faces holding signs and giving cheers. Although it appeared the 2 hours sleep was catching up to the oldest.

I made a point to drink and eat something about every 20 minutes. The weather was not as hot as it had been in the past so this at times caused me to forget to drink. I also learned that the cooler weather will cause the energy waffles to harden like candy. Just put it in your mouth and let it melt. Either that or put it inside my shorts to soften it up. I tried the first method and that seemed to work.

I made it in to complete the first loop in just over 2 hours. I stopped at the bike essential bag area just to re-up on some gels. I was also mauled by some very friendly BRA women. They tried to assist me with some of my stuff but I warned them to step back so it didn't appear I was getting assistance. I did not know how strict the rules were going to be enforced.

Off on my second loop to the cheers of Go Gators. This is because I was wearing a University of Georgia cycling jersey and here I was in Gator territory.

I slowed down to about 18-19 mph for my second loop. I was still full of energy but kept mentally reminding myself to slow my pace. As I was told, "if you feel you are going to fast, slow down. If you feel you are going too slow, slow down."

One thing I forgot to do at the changing area was to put on sunscreen. Every water stop I came to I was asking for sunscreen. I was always told they did not have any. There were some pretty pale volunteers out there. I am not sure if they had it and just weren't allowed to give it to me. At some point I was going to rub a banana all over me just to block the sun. At the end of lap 2 I was able to get some sunscreen. I lathered up and headed out for lap 3.

You never realize how long 112 miles is until you do it alone. Sure you have other cyclists that you ride up to and chat with or ride up to you and chat. The sucky part is when they ride on by you like your not even pedalling. I so wanted to try and hop on their wheel but no drafting in triathlons.

So all these miles and so much on my mind. I had to remain focused. Not think about the time other than every 20 minutes for fueling. I will admit that at the top of every hill and the completion of every turn, I was looking for a familiar face. Hoping there was that extra encouraging word. A witness to the madness.

I did see three familiar faces at the top of one of the last climbs. Turns out I saw them before they saw me. Jan, C-Steve and Navy Steve. I knew they were coming over to watch. Jan had told me they would try to see me during the bike. She had picked out a spot to wait but because of my fast swim time, Navy Steve had to change all his algorithms for my bike leg and they weren't sure if I had passed already. Again seeing a familiar face(s) does give you some extra mental energy. I stopped and gave them my Garmin to see if they could get it working. I really wanted it for my run.

I made it in off the bike in under 7 hours and still felt pretty good. I gave my bike to one of the volunteers. Took my shoes off and ran to the changing tent.

Part 4. A marathon now?

GF Part 2. The Swim...No One Said There Were Strippers

2011-10-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

I want to dedicate this Chapter to Jan. She has helped me train during the swim portion of this journey. A little advice here and there, usually not about swimming, but mainly her willingness to drive a two hour round trip once a week to meet me at St Pete Beach for an open water two mile swim. I would be remiss if I also didn't thank Karin for riding/driving as well.

Before the swim, I was asked what my swim time would be. I was not sure because I had never swam 2.4 miles for time. Surely I swam in the pool for what seemed like back and forth for ever but that was never an accurate timed workout. And our weekly open water swims always had a "quality" chat session at the halfway point. So I was guessing on the safe side it should be under an hour and a half.

As previously posted, I was distracted just before the start of the race by the Morning BRA Shift. I kind of think this helped keep my nerves steady. I then heard the 30 second countdown and made my way to the start. The water was reported as 71 degrees. And it was pretty calm as well. All the male and female competitors were to start together.

The gun went off and I walked out to start this journey. I was in no hurry because it was going to be a long swim. Easy steady strokes. Two laps of 1.2 miles. To me this would make the swim seem not as long. Two laps would give me a mental break.

Although this was a small wave compared to some of the larger ones at St Anthony's, I felt crowded in the beginning. I could not get a good stroke going. The water was pretty clear but I still could not see swimmers in front or beside me. I kept having to wade and reposition myself. When I do these swims, I always reach out as far as I can for two reasons. The first is to lengthen my stroke and secondly I am reaching out for the person in front of me. I was hoping the swimmer in front of me did not think they were being violated. I had to grab her leg several times just to move her to the side. I say her because the women were wearing pink caps.

As it always seems to happen in the long swims, at about 400 yards in to it, I started getting that "this is a long swim" feeling. That onset of a panic attack. I quickly brushed that aside with the knowledge that I was wearing a wetsuit and I ain't here to drown.

Before I knew it I was coming to shore for the end of the first lap. I do not look at my watch while swimming so I had no idea what my time would be. Much to my surprise as I stood out of the water to cross the timing mat for the first time, it was just under 34:00 minutes. What the hell. I did not feel like I was swimming that fast and since there were times I got clogged up I figured it would have been around 40. I then saw my girls standing on the dock holding homemade posters saying "go daddy go." I think they were just as surprised by my time. The ink was probably still wet.

I took a gel from my wetsuit. Ate it and chased it with some water. I then looked out over the lake again just to make sure I didn't skip any buoys. It did not look like I did. I figured the second leg should be a little easier since the field had spread out. Never assume they say. I found the need to work on my zigzag swimming this lap. I kept swimming too far outside the buoys. A handy tip from me to you. Don't always follow the swimmer off to your side. They may also be working on their zigzag skills.

Stood up at shore for the end of lap two. 2.4 miles down. I again looked at my watch and was surprised. Under 1:10 total. I did not feel like I was swimming fast. Steady strokes is all I was doing. Not winded at all. I felt very good at this point. AT THIS POINT.

I started running up the beach and then realized there was no need for me to run at this point. I came up to this area where there were several girls standing around wearing matching shirts. One of them asked me if I needed any help. I said, help with what? Your wetsuit. Oh yeah these are the strippers. That was helpful. I then headed to the changing tent.

Part 3. Bike Leg (Who Froze My Waffles?)

The Great Floridian Report. Part 1 (Before the Race)

2011-10-24T10:30:00.000-07:00

I know right off the bat your thinking, "Part 1? We know how your Ragnar reports were. Far and few between when broken up." I promise this will not be the case. I have broken them up because this was one hell of a long race. Not only the distance but the time. The time it took to do it and also the time it took to prepare. Many thoughts were going through my mind while I was on this journey. Both on and off the course.

I fell asleep around 10ish the night before. I set my alarms for 4 a.m. I was supposed to try and eat a 1200-1500 calorie breakfast at least 3 hours before the race. I started with a vanilla Ensure shake. These are great and have 250 calories. I then ate a banana, some yogurt and a bagel with honey. My room did not have a microwave for oatmeal so I figured I would use the coffee maker to heat some water. Turns out the coffee maker did not work. Hot tap water was next. Whoops. No bowl. I rinsed out the yogurt container and used it as a bowl. I love to camp and can improvise. The water didn't even get hot enough to soak in to the oatmeal. It was like eating a mushy peaches and cream flavored cookie. I had one more Ensure while taking a shower. I still could have used an assistant but I managed.

Off to the show. I usually try to get to tri's about an hour and a half before transition closes. I would rather be too early than rushing around. I had some time to spare for this one because my bike was racked the day before. I did not have to set up anything in transition except put some bottles on my bike. I just needed to hang my gear and essential needs bags. I ended up with about an hour to spare. What to do. It was still dark out.

Even though I reluctantly made a list, I still felt like I was missing something. I went back to my bags and double checked them just to make sure all I needed for the race was packed. Seems all was there.

I still had that need for something. Aah, my ipod. I was parked pretty close to transition so I walked back to the car. Put my music on. I felt pretty good and full of energy. For some reason I had no butterflies. I started drinking some water. I put my wetsuit on and had a gel at about 7:10. I made my way to the start.

I then spotted my family. They had just arrived I was told. The girls had Homecoming the night before. I told them they could have waited until later in the day to come over because I knew they would be tired. I heard my oldest say, "I am doing pretty good on 2 hours sleep. I didn't get to bed until 3 a.m." On any other morning I would have been like, "what!?! Seems I need to take your boyfriend on a trip." I was so focused that her comment didn't even register until later in the race. I gave hugs to all and went for a very short dip in the lake.

As I was coming out of the water, I heard some familiar voices yelling my name. It was Tom, V, Tanya and Kathy from BRA. They had come over for the early shift to wish me luck.

I was getting some pictures taken by Tom when I heard the 30 second count down to the start. I turned and walked into the water. Put my goggles on and set my watch. I may have helped that I didn't have time to stand with my toes in the water getting all nervous about the swim.

Part 2. The Swim...But I Wasn't Trying To Go Fast.

And Here She Is

2011-10-21T18:19:00.000-07:00

So my journey to the Great Floridian has arrived. In under 12 hours I should be in the water giving it stroke for stroke. It has been a long injury free training session. Suppose we shall see how it has all paid off.

Today was spent getting my things together from my list. I did say list. I was convinced to make a list for this race since I was going to be solo the day/night before the race. I tell you, there sure is a lot of stuff needed for an Ultra Triathlon. I packed all the stuff in my Civic and headed out. I was of course running late. I had to get songs for my ipad. Priorities. I also had to take my bike to the bike shop just for a quick once over. All seems to be fine.

I got to the check in and got my packet. I was given 6 plastic bags to put more stuff in. A bike gear bag. A wetsuit bag. 2 special needs bags for the bike. A run gear bag. A special needs bag for the run. Special needs? What the heck. Turns out this is for any supplements that you like that they aren't using. Or dry clothing if you wish to change during your run. I am debuting some "funky" shorts for the run. I may put some different shorts in my run special needs bag. As a matter of fact I will put some different shorts in there.

I put my packet back in my car and decided to take a swim. I had already gotten a short run and bike in before I left home. It was time for me to be one with the lake. I was told the water was hovering around 72 degrees. Definitely wetsuit legal. After I got my wetsuit on, I stood at the waters edge and stared at the lake. I said, "Lake. I am staring at you." The water felt great. A little choppy because of the wind. The buoys were not put out yet so I was not stressed about the visual distance.

I got my bike together and put it on the rack. They had to be racked the day before. We were allowed to take care of our bags in the morning if we choose. I chose. I then headed out to dinner. Spaghetti for me. Also had two garlic knots but hopefully that won't make a difference on the wrong side of the clock tomorrow.

It is only natural to wonder if I trained enough. Did I swim all I could? Could I have bike a few more miles? Should I have logged more miles with Tiesto? Did I eat all the right things? Did I get enough sleep. Hell I should be sleeping now. The good thing is I had no significant injuries during all the training. All I can do now is put my toes on the line and give it the best I can. Many have asked what my finish time will be. What time do you want to finish in. I say to them, "I just want to finish. They are giving me 17 hours."

HELP WANTED: APPLY WITHIN

2011-10-18T06:32:00.000-07:00

I have never been a fan of “lists”. I don’t make them. I don’t follow them. And I most definitely pay for it. Sometimes. Okay, more often than not in my old age.

The sport of triathlon requires lists. There’s more than just putting on your running shoes and waiting for the gun to go off. You have to have your stuff for the swim. Your stuff for the bike. Your bike. Your running stuff. All your eats and drinks. Your pre and post race entertainment. And apparently for the out of town events you need to book a hotel room way in advance.

For those of you that know me or have read my Ragnar recaps, you know that I tend to wait til the last minute and may or may not forget things. I may have had to take Van 2 back to my house 3 times to get some things. They were important things though like an ipod, a power converter for Christmas lights, Ax and a costume or two.

I was reminded recently that I needed to make a list for the Great Floridian. Lists are no fun. I know, I know. Lists are less dramatic and just lay there on the table and keep to themselves. That’s why I don’t like lists. Lists can’t talk to you. Can’t listen to you. Can’t encourage you. Can’t sit across from you at dinner. Can’t tuck you in the night before a big race. Can’t make sure you don’t oversleep the morning of one of the most important and longest races of your life. Can’t make you coffee. Can’t keep you focused before the race. And they can’t give you a good luck kiss on the cheek while at the waters edge.

Yesterday before my long swim, I was talking to Jan and I told her that all the hotels in Clermont were sold out. “You haven’t booked a room! I told you a long time ago that you should book a room. You need an assistant. I know how you are and lists just won’t be enough. You need to start packing today when you get home.” I agree on everything she said. Especially the assistant part. I do need an assistant.

I was going to get my girls to assist but when I reminded them of when the race was I heard this. “Daddy it is homecoming that night. Are you kidding? This is my last one and her first one.” Well you see where I ranked with them. They are going to show up later the next morning.

I am asking for the services of someone to be an assistant for less than 24 hours. The tucking in and kiss on the cheek are optional. You will have an all expense paid trip to Clermont. Dinner, breakfast and the race festivities. You could even do your long run that Saturday morning if need be. There are no contracts or waivers to sign. If interested please consult your physician, attorney or cleric before contacting me. Viewing everything live is probably better than reading it in a book.

Can I Borrow Your Soap?

2011-10-13T15:45:00.000-07:00

I was finally down to my last long workout session week. My last long swim before the race. Now I say long swim only because it is a 2 miler. I will swim a couple more 2000 yarders before the race but I don’t consider those long swims anymore. Not too sound like I am bragging but after swimming 2 miles in open water, 2000 yards in a pool in nothing. Well I will say it is still kind of boring.

A while back I moved my long swims to the mornings because the open water conditions were better compared to the afternoon/evening. The winds were calmer which made for better swimming. The evening swims were like being in a washing machine. It was not fun which made me want to skip the swims. The other alternative was swimming in a pool. Back and forth I go. The story of my like it seems lately. Comparatively, the pool swims really aren’t that bad I suppose.

Since I moved my long swims to the mornings, I needed someone to swim so I wouldn’t be alone in the event something happened. Can’t trust the tourists. That’s some bad hat Harry. I was able to recruit a couple of ladies to swim with me, Jan and Karin. I like to call them “shark bait”. They make the two hour round trip a week to swim. I like to think it is to assist me in my training and give moral support but I know they get as much of a work out as I do.

I was hoping that this swim was going to be another smooth one. Nope. Recent weather put a damper on that dream. I look out at the water and it always looks calmer when standing on the shore. There were some waves as you can see in the picture but they were very deceiving. We got our wetsuits on and headed in. It always seems that we debate on who is going to start swimming so we talk for another ten minutes. I hope I don’t do this for my race. You know, “train like you’re going to race.”

During our swims we usually check on each other on the way up and the way back. It was especially important that we did it this time. The water was a bit choppy. I would swim ahead and then stop to see how they were doing. Everyone was fine all the way up.

Half way through we again would yap for a few more minutes and then head back south. I was 8 minutes faster on the way back. That is even with checking on them. It is so funny how we end up outside of each other. Inside of each other. Ahead. Behind. Thank goodness the tri swims have those big orange floaty things to sight on.

Once the swim is over it is now my favorite time. Showering with the ladies. Okay, I know it is outside but not many people can say they shower with two women once a week. In all seriousness, I am very appreciative of those two for giving me company during the long swims. They both want to continue this weekly adventure until the water is too cold. I am in. If only I could keep up with Jan on the long runs I wouldn’t be doing those with only Tiesto.

I have realized that I am starting to increase my confidence on this race. I have no set time goals other than under 17 hours. It’s my first and as of now will not be my last. I have a whole new perspective on triathlons, the training and the results I see. I also have a new list of races that I want and will do.

Coming soon: “The Death of a Captain. Or Early Retirement.”

I ain't racin' ya....

2011-10-11T15:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those training days when you feel rushed or forgetful or downright delirious? I think I just had one of those this past Saturday.

My plan for the weekend was to get one last long ride in on Saturday. I would then back it up on Sunday with a 20 mile run. That was my plan.

On Friday night, I had my tri bike in the shop until well after closing. Seems she was wanting to be considered for my upcoming race. She needed some overhauling first. A new headset, a compact crank and a new chain. I was told that my bike was quit the project. So much so that cutting tools had to be used to take the old headset and spacers off. Minor surgery was the term used. Seems the combination of my sweat and the humidity can wreak havoc on the lady parts. A water hose and leaf blower just doesn’t clean her good enough. Again I would like to thank both Ron and Dave at Brandon Bikeworks for their assistance and patience. It was a rough first date for them.

There was a low in South Florida that was going to bring some lovely weather in to the area for the weekend. I woke up and checked the weather. It was already raining in Clermont so plan B had me going to San An. Little did I know there would be 20-25 mph winds once I got there. Cheers for me.

I get to San An and realize I forgot my Garmin. Great. I also forgot my gels. Great. I only had two bottles of fluid. Great. I forgot my earphones for my ipod. Great. I get on my bike and realize my computer is not working. Great. Good thing I already know the route and the approximate miles. I need an assistant.

I know my long ride plans are not supposed to include any pulling, drafting or sprints. Well there were these three guys that I passed on a downhill within the first couple of miles. They then hooked on my wheel and started drafting me. They evidently were not aware of my plan. I broke away a little on a short climb and then they started to catch up. I stopped at an intersection and let them get ahead.
I caught back up and passed them again on a downhill. That aero bar downhill position is great. I then dropped a water bottle. Only had two so I had to stop and get it. The three rode by with one of them saying, “bad luck to you.” Oh is this a race now. I catch up again when one of the guys was telling one of the other cyclists that he should get a compact crank and a bigger cassette. Hey I just did that. I get ahead of them again with a pretty good lead until I start to climb a steep hill. As I shift to the small gear up front, the chain does not shift in to the ring. It stays right in the middle and I spin, spin, spin until I almost stop. I get off the bike and start messing with the chain. This is why I test ride bikes now before my races. Of course the three of them get ahead of me. The cat and mouse continues until another climb. On this climb I start to drink when two of the three start to pass. Oh hell no. I just rode Six Gap. I then pass them for the last time and that was it.

I am still on the fence as to which bike to use. I did not get to ride Clermont like I wanted. I shall try again this Saturday or Sunday.

Sunday I had planned on doing a long run. Again due to the weather, I only ran ten. I felt pretty good. Less than two weeks to go. Oh boy. I still feel pretty good and will feel even better if the weather is cool that morning. Too far out for the forecast.

Midweek Update....

2011-10-05T14:34:00.000-07:00

The countdown continues for the Great Floridian. Maybe 15ish days to go. I have been tweaking my road bike and tri bike. I have added larger cassettes and now compact cranks. All this for one measly bike ride. I have only two long rides left to decide on which bike to use. I have read blogs and posts and listened to others about this. A road bike is better for climbing but the tri bike may help your legs and upper body for the run. The best comment was, "ride what you feel comfortable on the most."

Last Sunday I took my road bike to Clermont and rode the bike course. All 112 miles and felt damn good when I was done. I will admit that I did not run but could have if I wanted to. I just sat in the shade and drank some orange Powerade and reflected a little. Well actually reflected a lot.

This ride was all about pace again. And I definitely had to ride how I felt because my speedometer was not working. I was wearing my Garmin and tried to do the math to figure out what speed I was averaging. 112 miles in 6:29 hours. Good I suppose. Now I did stop at my car at the end of laps one and two to refuel and eat something. I still felt that on the third lap I was gearing out on some of the climbs. I am currently having a compact crank put on my tri bike. This will give me a 50/32 and an 11/27. This should be perfect for this course.

I have now moved my long run to Saturday morning so I can start adjusting to race day. I ran 10 on Tuesday at an 8:20 pace. Felt good for that run. Still doing most of my running alone. Just works out that way. I have managed to bring Tiesto with me. Not sure if I will be able to sneak him in on the race though. No DJ's allowed. Silly rules.

This morning I did my open water swim. I used my wetsuit, temp was right on the verge, just to make sure it fit properly. For some reason, it fits better now than it did back in April. I swam 2 miles with Jan and Karin. We joke about how we end up talking for a bit before we swim and then again at the mile point when we turn to go back. It seems our conversations at the half way point have gotten longer. I said pretty soon we will have to pack a lunch. I also asked them that since the GF is a two lap swim, could they show up and let's have a chat just before my second lap. You know, race like you train. All in fun though. I thank them for driving the hour to meet me once a week to swim.

I am starting to feel more and more confident about this race. I am not making any predictions because my only goal is under 17 hours. That will be my PR and I will go from there next time around. And there will be a next time.....

Six Gap 2011

2011-09-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

Another Six Gap in the books. Or better yet, on the ass and legs and lower back and shoulders and.... I will have to say that this years Gap was better than the last one which was better than the first one. I see some type of pattern developing here. Each year is a learning lesson. More training. Bigger cassettes. This year? Compact crank.

And speaking of bigger cassettes, I must send a special thanks and heartfelt gratitude to Ron and David of Brandon Bikeworks in Riverview, Fla. I had an emergency cassette situation arise three days before leaving for Georgia. Ron assured me that he would do what he could to make sure I make my ride. I felt that he went out of his way to take care of my situation. So much so that I now have a new local bike shop to call home. Not that I plan on sleeping there anytime soon. If you are in the Riverview area and need any bike needs, I strongly suggest you stop by this shop or their brother/sister shop Just Ride in Valrico, Fl.

Now back to the Gap report. As some of you may know, I am training for the Great Floridian. Dare I say it is an ironman distance triathlon. Oh wait, should I have capitalized ironman? Part of my training plan was to use Six Gap as one of my training rides. 112 miles in Clermont should have nothing on 104 miles in the North Georgia mountains. I was also going to use my road bike instead of my tri bike. I am on the fence for which bike to use for the GF. The GF bike course is pretty hilly and does not have many opportunities to be in the aero bars. I will also ride the Clermont course on my road bike a few weeks out just to be sure. And I can always clip on some aero bars.

Why is it that retro rock stations always have to include Steely Dan?

Back to the Gap. This year I decided to go with a 13-29 rear cassette on my bike to help with the climbs. Although last year I did not walk any of the climbs, it was still painful. The walking demon was right on my shoulder teasing me with painless options. I kept a 53-39 crankset. A little too pricey for a Campy compact crankset.

My riding plan was going to be about pacing myself. No drafting on others and that meant no pulling either. I stopped at each rest area to make sure I refueled and ate. I tried not to linger or dance with any strangers. As I said, that was my plan. Well you know what they say about plans and the Hustle.

The weather was great. High 50's to start and low 80's to finish. I had a throw away shirt under my jersey and some arm warmers. A tip from Walt. For arm warmers, I use these Halloween costume fake tattoo sleeves. I have used them in as low as mid 40's temps. Plus they seem to always get a few odd looks from people. Or maybe that is just me.

The first couple of rest stops I just ate some peanut butter and honey sandwiches. Refilled my bottles. One with Heed/Gatorade and the other with water. I was supposed to eat/drink every 20 minutes but that turned out to be difficult when some of the climbs were 30-40 minutes.

I felt good on some of the first few long climbs. I surprised myself when I just got in to a rhythm. Pushed my butt back on the seat and pushed. I was passing a lot of people. Much different than lest year. "I am going to start riding with you now," says my lower back at about mile 50. No worries. I have two little green pills that will hopefully entertain you for a while. Okay shoulders the greenies will visit you as well.

There is one section of the Gap where this is a 10k King of the Mountain contest. A climb of about 1,400 feet in 6 miles. Part of the climb is 11% for a mile. The toughest part of the ride is this section. There is also a rest stop at the halfway point. The problem with this rest stop is that once you leave you immediately start climbing. Yeah let those legs cool down. Needless to say I was not the KOM again this year. No shame here.

The descent from the top of the first KOM is dangerous. There are signs post warning drivers warning of the steep grade for the next 2 miles. I was going in the mid 30's with my rear brakes on and feathering the front brakes. There were riders pulled off to the side because either their tires were overheating or they were just being cautious. I also found out later that some people who had carbon fiber wheels had failures. The wheels heated up too much and caused cracks and breaks. The good thing is there were no crashes but they were done.

The last descent is from Woody's Gap. It is about 7 miles of all down hill with some winding turns. Nothing real steep but very fun if you are confident in your skills. This day I was. I averaged high 30's and also managed to reach 48 on one stretch. Having the large crank helps.

When I finished the Gap I felt so much better than the first two years. I felt good because I felt good. I have to give some of the credit to the weather. It has been so hot training in Florida that it just drains me so quick. It was good to get a century ride in with no major issues.

It's Showdance Time....

2011-09-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

Walt has given me the privilege to hijack his blog for a few postings. And now that I have his password, I shall peak in here and there and sprinkle some good words. I will give you my insight on entertainment, happenings, things that may piss me off and whatever else I feel like rambling about.

My first post will be about none other than TEXTING. That's right. The new mode of communicating. Well not so new since there is tweeting.

When did we stop talking to each other? I will admit there are times that I don't want to talk to some people and have no problem with a quick K or LMTFA.

I was out one night at a restaurant with my good friend Kirt doing some people watching. I saw this couple sitting at a table. I could not tell whether they were on a date or not. After they placed their order, she pulled out her cell phone and started texting. I mean really. What was so damn important that it couldn't wait until they left the place? She didn't look like no baby delivering person. Would it have hurt to put the phone in her purse.

What does that say about him. Is he that damn boring that she needed to have a conversation with someone else. I suppose it would be no different than him watching football while she. Well been there done that.

I know this father that has a no cell phone rule while at dinner. Whether it be out or in for dinner. He claims that has worked very well. No phones at the table. He said it is amazing how fast the kids will eat just to get back to the phones.

And texting while driving. Is it really that important to risk your life or someone else's just so you can type where you are going to be in 10 minutes. Call the damn person. It would take less time than typing.

I heard there was this man out west that lost his wife and two teenage daughters in a car wreck. Seems a guy was having an argument with his girlfriend over a misunderstanding of a text interpretation. This guy did not see the red light and plowed right in to the side of a car killing three women. He survived. At least until he was released from the hospital. He has not been seen since. Just sayin'. Is it worth it?

I will admit that I do text and also text while driving. Trying to say I do it at a red light or in traffic really gives me no excuse.

Misinterpretation of texts. I think we do this all the time. How many of you have gotten yourself in to all kinds of hot water because a text was taken the wrong way? People say you can capatalize a text to show emotions. Balogny. Simple words are just that. If that is the case then why aren't books written without punctuation. Or descriptions of surroundings or of the speakers emotions. One hell of a long text if you did that. If you don't understand the text call the person before you start finger banging the phone til you draw blood.

Read again what you type before you send. You can't take it back. Kind of gives you a safety blanket before you text out of anger. Save it in a draft for later if in doubt.

Make sure you are sending the text to the right person. Yikes. I b ther @ 7. I cnt make dnr. wrk late. Guess what happened there. Randolph was busted.

And delete your texts. Do you really need to store them for ever and a day. As a reminder? A reminder of what? Days gone by? Evidence? Do you remember what you texted me 3 weeks ago? Oh you don't. Well look right here. Do you remember now? Well you must have deleted the one that said KMA. I know these new "smart phones" are all the rage but they don't make you any smarter. You never know who is going to happen to use your phone and may see something you did not want to share.

Showdance

A 20.17 success

2011-09-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

For some reason lately, I have been looking forward to my Wednesday long runs. It seems I am having more success on the runs than on the long bike rides. Weird for me because my biking has always been stronger than my running. Funny how things change. I also think it is due to the weather and fluid intake. I am still working on that mess.

New for this week was changing from Gu to Powergel. Powergel is thinner and easier to get down once your knee deep in the hoopla. A Starship reference. I am old. I also needed to drink a lot on Tuesday until I was peeing clear. Success. Even in the middle of the night. Wish I was camping and didn't have to get up to go......

I started out my run just after 5 a.m. The temp was about 68. That was a relief compared to all the other days. The heat has been kicking my ass of late. I should start riding my bike at 5 a.m. I started running with this guy named Phil. I just met him right then. He asked me how far I was going. Twenty I told him. "What?" That is what I used to say when I first started running. I like being able to just throw out the high miles like it is no big deal. Phil told me that he just started back running after taking about seven years off due to an injury he got three weeks out from Boston. He ran the first three with me.

I ran the rest of the miles with Tiesto and Matt Darey. These guys are awesome DJ's in the category of dance/trance/techno. Great running music. And it is free on itunes. Just subscribe to their weekly podcast.

Back to the running report. I felt pretty good the entire run. I will admit their were some aches here and there but whatever. At about mile 16 I was debating on walking a little. But you see, where we run, there are these white lines on the sidewalk that mark quarter miles. I would just count them off knowing how far it was to the water stop. And water stop is exactly that. The only walking was at the water stops today. Nice.

Yesterday I was having some doubts in my head about this whole ironman thing. The crash and burns on the bike. The amount of time it is taking to train. The discipline of not eating at certain restaurants. The cutting back, way back, on craft beer. The time away. I was looking for that one word of encouragement. That repeat of a hillside talk. I do thank those that sent a good word my way.

For some reason I woke up this morning. Actually WOKE UP this morning and realized it has to be me that does the motivating. Although I do appreciate, I really do, the outside encouragement but I can't go asking for it anymore. It has to come to me or from me. And it will no longer bother me if it doesn't come from the outside. Don't want to sound whiney but I have a purpose. The spark has engulfed.

5 1/2 weeks to go.

Almost a fail.....

2011-09-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday was another long ride. The plan was to ride the first two loops of the Great Floridian course and then run for about 2-4 miles.

Speedy Jan, Casey, Dave and I all showed up at what will be the start line of the GF. The morning seemed a little cooler but the humidity was still there. I led out the group for the first few miles. I pulled at about 20 mph because I felt good. I of course forgot all about that pacing thing and the 70 or so miles left ahead. I move over and then Jan takes the lead. As she is starting to pass, she says, "remember your pace." As she takes off.

The hard thing about group rides is the pacing pulling part. When you are pulling you want to try to go fast since you are the lead dog. Thinking that everyone behind you also wants to go fast. That is a mistake I have learned in the past. I should have dropped my speed early on. Shame on my as usual.

The first lap included Sugarloaf Mountain. Now it really isn't a mountain but it is a long steady climb for Central Florida standards. We all four made it up that climb pretty much together. I sat the whole time and used my lowest gear. I was giving it all she's got. We regrouped at the top by this house where the owners provide two jugs of water with cups for the cyclists during the weekends.

This is where I learned a new bike term from Casey. "Kit". Seems there was the female rider that arrived just after us. She was on a fancy bike and was wearing this matching black and pink jersey shorts combo. Also bright pink socks. I asked Casey if "kit" was for the bike or the clothes. She said the clothes. I then. Seems this woman raced for the team the she displayed over her body.

We finished the first lap together. We took a break to refuel, potty, eat and then debate. I should have picked up on the clue that during my brief potty break, the color of my pee was the color of burnt corn. Is that good or bad?

Off we went for round two. Pretty much the same as the first one but without Sugarloaf. I again for some dumbass reason started pulling. You would think that the others knew the course by now. But I am a grown damn man and could have pulled off. I pulled at 20 mph again. Once I dropped off, I then decided it was my time to do my own pace. Regardless.

The three of them waited for me at the next major intersection. This happened one more time. I told them not to wait anymore. I very much appreciated it but they should enjoy the a/c of the car soon.

Just outside of Monteverde, I was starting another climb when both my thighs locked up with massive cramps. I quickly unclipped and put my feet down before I fell over into the road. I stood there for what seemed like15-20 minutes. This was probably not good. But this time I was not calling Jan to come get me. "Suck it up" is what I would expect her to say this time around. I walked my bike up the rest of the hill. Other bikers rode by asking if I was okay. "Just a little cramping" is what I said. "I am a dumbass" is what I said to myself.

I stopped at the next convenience store and bought several bottles of cold water and a Powerade. I soon realized that even though this felt good and refreshing, I was past the point of it having any immediate benefit. Mentally yes. Physically no.

I was still able to average about 14 mph for the remainder of the ride. The last hill was the do or die hill. It was a short steep hill and only 1/2 mile from the finish. I again had to get off my bike. I did stay in my aerobars though. It's as if my bike was a walker. I felt like shit and just wanted it over with. The good thing is that once at the top of the hill, all the rest was down hill. I just coasted to the finish. I could see all three of the others sitting in the cars with the a/c on. They get out of the cars and ask me if I am ready to run now.

I stopped my bike. Leaned it against a pole. Unlatched my helmet and let it fall to the grass. Pulled my jersey off and dropped it on the ground. Grabbed a Powerade and walked right to the shower. I was beat down. Fail for this day. I was sort of glad to hear the others say that they also felt dehydrated. Maybe they were just saying nice things to me at this point.

All I was thinking was that I would have to ride one more lap and then run a marathon. Yay for me. Shit that ain't happening today if this was race day. Jan assures me that race day will be different and that it was hot out today. That is what I keep thinking.

Later that night I looked over this article I had printed that gave me a nutritional guideline for the bike during an Ironman. The only portion of that article that I passed was the showing up on time part. This is why we practice.

On a possitive note. I did have a good open water 2 mile swim on Monday. I stopped a couple of times during the second mile because my nose was burning due to the salt water. The swim seems to be the least of my worries. Oh well. A 20 mile run in the morning.

I know. I have been drinking all day today.

Guest Blogger....

2011-09-10T08:52:00.000-07:00

I have been requested to allow a new friend the opportunity to post on this here blog. His name is Showdance Mercury. I met him several months ago at a SYTYCD watch party. Turns out we have several things in common. I told him about my blog and he said he would love an avenue to vent and share his views and observations of things in life. He told me the other day that he is finally ready to post something. I may have messed up by giving him my password but I can just change it if he gets too crazy. I told him to not name names. If he quotes someone be able to back it up. But he does have the freedom to keep you guessing.

Look for Showdance here soon.

Thursday

2011-09-08T11:12:00.001-07:00

I got on a tear there with my posts. So many so soon was driving me crazy. Well not me crazy. The two or three people that read my posts were overwhelmed. So I heard.

Updates on my Great Floridian training. I took Monday off since it was my oldest's 18th birthday. Yikes. 18 already. Now an official adult. Although, she has told me for years that she is all grown up. She was trying to figure out things she could do now that she is 18. The one thing she came up with, "I can now buy fireworks." That's good enough since I don't allow clubbing.

Tuesday morning I was going to swim and then spin. Due to lightning in the area, the pool was closed for another hour when I got to the Y. I had to spin first (boring) and then swim. I had a pretty good brick out of this even though it was a reversed brick.

Wednesday was going to be my Tackle The 20 Miler morning. Again due to weather, strong thunderstorms and lightning, I had to skip my long run for the morning. I was not going to run 20 miles on the treadmill. Not to say there is anything wrong with that. Well actually, there is something wrong with that. Have at it you freaks. I decided to run after work. I only ran 10 miles but I ran at an 8:15 pace. I will lengthen my Saturday run to 10-12 instead of the normal 7.

This morning I rode with Speedy Jan and her group. I think it was about 33 miles or so. I stayed off the back so I could stay in the aero bars. All this for race preparation.

This weekend I will do the first two laps of the GF bike course which is probably 70 or so miles. I would like to push it to 90 but we shall see. I should get a run in after the bike. This time I will make sure I have my shoes.

Hope everyone has a good weekend in whatever you do.

Weekend Success

2011-09-06T14:01:00.000-07:00

I will have to say that I had a very successful training weekend. Here is how it ran and rolled.

Saturday morning I wanted to get up over an hour early before my run just to experiment again with nutrition. I got up just under an hour. I still drank an Ensure still knowing that I could be setting myself up for a 5k dash. I had debated on running at the Saturday start for the 10 miler but that extra 20 minutes of sleep is so valuable to me right now. I met at the Y. I started running with the faster group this time. I would like to think it is because I am getting faster. But they will tell me it's because they are deciding to take it easy today. Just who do they think they are....

I managed to average my first 3.6 or so at a 7:45 pace. Hello Ensure. I didn't forget about you. Honest, I didn't.

I then started the second leg with the fast group again. I dropped back a little because my mind was questioning what I was doing with this group. "You know you ain't supposed to be here." I fought the desire to slow and drop off the back. I ended up finishing that loop and the total 7 at an 8:15ish pace. I felt very good.

I met the group at Panera and had some good conversation about all kinds of stuff. Green Eggs and Ham reading, Frisbee is part of tailgating and how exciting someone is to be a 2 hour pacer for the Women's Half Marathon.

Sunday was my long ride. I met several guys at the Suncoast Trail. We headed out for a 78 mile ride. There was five of us and then after about 3 miles, there was four of them. They took off well above the pace I wanted to go. I again needed to keep my own pace for my GF training. I finished feeling pretty good physically and mentally. I concentrated even more on my nutrition and pace. I got back to the start and was going to run 4 miles. For some reason I felt even better when I realized I left my running shoes in my other car. Darn. I don't run barefoot. Not right now.

Only 45 days to go and the Dawgs suck. Fire Richt.

Confessions of a long swimmer

2011-09-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

This post is goofy and short. You don't have to read another word.

Today was my long swim of 2.4 miles. Again. Back and forth in the pool. Plenty of time for crazy ass thoughts to go through my mind for 170 laps. Some good. Some bad. And some somewhere in between. Now depending on who you are and how these thoughts relate to you also depends on whether they are good or bad.

Let's go.

Well no open lanes. I see the kids are having early morning swim team practice. Eight lanes and they take up four. One lane is just being used by two kids. Must be the slow learners. I wish school started earlier.

Hey here's a lane I can possibly split. Yes she agrees. Chat session with a friend about Augusta being sold out. Off and swimming. A little bit cold to start out.

Well let's see was that lap one or two. I don't feel tardy. I think I will do spin after this. Just for 30 minutes though. That lady next to me has a weird stroke. Is she having a stroke? Guess not. Was that lap 9 or 10?

Candy-O. I need you. You know if I figure out a way to fix that pipe then I can use that on the up swing. Hey what do you know. Lap 30. Already?

Who is it that is taking it back to the old school. I sure miss hearing from my mother. What would she think right about now. Just be happy John. Lap 45. Alrighty now.

The mountain is high. The valley is low. And I am confused on my lap count now. Dang it. Is that guy in the next lane trying to race.

It's been an hour already.

Should I let Showdance write a quest post. I think I will. That would be fun to read what he has to say. He wants to cover topics like texting. Friends and futuristic hobbledegoo. I have no idea what that is but I can't wait to see.

What the hell is Whakken? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Enough already. That's it. 170 laps. I spin now. All done.

Mr 18 Miler You Can Kiss My.....

2011-08-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

I owned you today. I am so happy about my long run this morning. Turns out it was actually just over 18.5 but who is counting. I AM.

The weather was a little cooler and less humidity it seems. So that gives me a little relief that come race day it should be a little different than the conditions I have been training in.

I have been reading a lot on nutrition. Do's, dont's and the experimental suggestions.

This morning I got up around 4 a.m. and decided to drink an Ensure for my pre-run meal. I do love the taste of the Homemade Vanilla Ensure. Now before you start with the AARP jokes and the old man comments, Ensure is suggested in some of the articles and it is Doctor #1 recommended. And as far as an old man, I am only in my 40's. Well even though the Ensure has no fiber, at mile 3 my body was not told this. I shall save you the details on that event.

Today I drank plenty of fluids. I did not mix my Accelerade with GU like an article suggested. I alternated Accelerade alone and then GU with water. This worked like a charm today.

I got to mile 10ish and still felt pretty good compared to last week. I began to smile a little. Seems a little dorky but I need that long run mental boost. I also walked at the water breaks but just to get water. My last three miles were at a low to mid 8:oo minute pace. I was so damned surprised. I kept doing the math in my head just to make sure it was the right distance. 7+6.7+5=18.7. I also ran without an ipod.

And as far as songs playing in my head. All kinds of thoughts were going through my mind. Some were songs, jingles, poems, odes, final credits and movie scenes.

Next week is a 20 miler. Well all I can say is......

A day off is good and recommended....I read somewhere.

2011-08-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

I took the day off of training this morning. Since my long runs are now on Wednesday mornings, I figure I might as well take Tuesday off to let the legs, arms, back and all else have a rest day. I felt a little guilty about it but it did not last long. I could always spin or swim if need be. Or not.

Yesterday morning I swam 1300 yards just to start the week. I then ran hills Monday evening with the BRA group. I have started back doing hills since Jan suggested it would help. I would have to agree. This is the fourth week back at the hills and i have noticed an improvement. I have been surging up the hills and then relaxing on the flats and the downhills until last night. Dorcas, one of the BRA runners, was running with me. I would pass her on the hills and then she would go by me on the downhills. I guess she had seen enough of this and yelled at me about giving in to the downhill and let the momentum take me down the hill. I gave this a try and it sure worked. This will be my new hill plan.

I have recently begun to mentally focus more on this long tri I have coming. I like it. I still have other matters to deal with but like I said earlier, all the pieces fall in to place. Just let it happen and don't force it. Why get all worked up. In the end are you really going to need it.

I have my long run of 18 miles in the a.m. I have been visualizing the route in my head all day. Not that I am worked up about it. I am just wanting to make sure I don't short myself or run too damn far. The only downside about moving my long runs to the middle of the week is that they are done alone. Just me and the ipod from here on out. All of the BRA runners do their long ones on Saturday mornings and it is tough for me to do that and turn around the next day for a long bike ride. Oh well. An ironman is an individual sport when it comes down to it. Right?

I can see clearly now the rain is

2011-08-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

I have to learn not to do any bike maintenance or replace parts the day before a long ride or race. Or at the least, test ride my bike first. Anyways.

Yesterday I put a larger cassette on my bike to help on those lovely little hills in San Antonio and Clermont. I also took apart my aerobar so I could clean the bolts and replace them if needed. No bolts needed replacing. By the time I put it all back together, it was too late and dark for a test ride. Nothing like sleeping with your fingers crossed.

On the way to San An, it began to storm. A little. Normally I would turn around because I do not like to ride in the rain. I will ride in it if I am already out there but not from the get go. Once at San An, it started clearing. I grouped up with some fellow riders and we headed out. As fate would have it, I was about 2 miles from the start when I hit a good size bump in the road and it then that I was reminded that I did not tighten my handlebar neck enough. My handlebars went from level to.....not level. Well you get the point. I rode back and fixed this mess.

I was able to catch back up with a couple of the riders.

I again rode my pace and tried to ride either alone or off the back. The new cassette worked out and have I mentioned how much I love Accelerade. Accelerade also has gels so I will be ordering those.

I was able to ride 62 miles and run 4. I then stood under the outdoor shower for another 20 minutes. I felt so good this time that I was going to swim at 3 but the pool was packed and Brooke did not show so I will swim first thing in the a.m.

Look for the corner pieces first.....

2011-08-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

Wow. More than one post this month. Something is going on. Not sure if it is good or not but right about now I will take it.

This morning I ran the short 7 miler with some of the Brandon Running runners. For me these short Saturday runs turn in to a speedy 5k to the first water stop and then a slower run to finish. That was not going to be my plan today but as nature and nutritional tuning will have it, things change. I decided to drink a vanilla Ensure about an hour before I started running and the Ensure was wanting to run now. And coincidentally, a fellow runner was also having some #2 issues. There was going to be a race to the bathroom at the water stop. So now there was an unofficial 5k underway. Brandon Bathroom Dash 2011.

I let him take off with the lead. I know he has a tendency to lead out a little too fast. With about a mile left, I passed him and told him that I would be getting to the bathroom first. I also let him know there were two bathrooms so he should be fine. Little did he know that one of the two men's rooms was always locked. There was the women's bathroom as an option.

So I arrive first and take my seat at the stop. I then hear the locked door get banged on. Then my door gets banged on. I told him to use the ladies. Turns out he did. Poor ladies. I then asked him how it was. He said it was pretty nice. There were hand towels and a scented candle. Damn Them.

Well anyways, I had a pretty good run and post run yap session. This ironman thing feels like it is coming together pretty good. Like one big puzzle, work on the easy pieces first.

I am reminded of what Trent told me. "Every day is exactly the same."

And boy are my arms tired....

2011-08-26T06:17:00.000-07:00

This morning was my long swim. The plan was to swim an hour and a half or 4250 yards (2.4 miles). Which ever came first. This would be my longest swim ever. With only seven weeks to go til the GF, I have to ramp it up. Doesn't mean I have to stand at the top of the ramp, but what the hell, why not.

I looked at the clock and thought, "an hour and a half. Crap." I decided just to start a swimmin'. No warm up laps in this 25 yard pool. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Well you get the point. It was a treat. I was told it would be easier, mentally, if I broke the swim in to 1000 yard sessions and maybe had some music. I had no music so the 1000 yarders was the plan.

Between the 1000ers, all I did was get a splash of my Accelerade and back and forth I went. Just over half way, I started to feel a little twinge in my left shoulder and neck. I relaxed my stroke and neck a little and this took care of that.

After 3000, I looked at the clock and saw that it was just under an hour. It did not feel like I had been swimming an hour. Surprisingly I was not tired at all. With 1250 to go I was just going to swim this one without stopping. I was done before the hour and a half. Well the swim leg is secure.

I will have to admit that I feel pretty darn good right about now. I had no fatigue at all and if it weren't for work, I would have done some spin.

We shall see how this weekend goes with the short run on Saturday and the long bike and run on Sunday.

As Mick told me once, "You can't always get what you want. But if you tri sometimes, you just might get what you need."

Does the weather matter?

2011-08-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

Well hell yeah it does. This morning was my long run of 16ish miles. I started at around 5:15 with the temperature at about 73. That made a big difference this time around. And I also changed up the frequency of my fluid intake.

I ran out a mile and a half. Got water at the usual stop. I then ran out another mile and back to the water. I did this again and then back to the start for some Accelerade mixed with Carboplex. This combo has been working for me lately. Took in a Gu and then off for another 3ish to the next water stop. Another Gu and back to the Y. I cut out two hills but not the distance. I didn't feel bad about dissing the hills since I did the hill workout Monday night.

I felt pretty darn good until about 13ish mile. A little queezy in the gut but sucked it up back to the start. Got some more Accelerade and then headed off for the final 3. So 16+ in the books today.

I have some minor aches but just because of the distance. It is something when you have to put on your underwear and shorts by dropping them on the floor and using your toes to get your feet in the holes. And for those of you that were introduced to the "Twins" on a previous post, they are just a little heated right now. I shall leave you with that lovely visual.

I have realized that when I am a good dog I sometimes get thrown a bone.

61 Days 14 Hours and Counting Down

2011-08-21T14:29:00.000-07:00

Well it is obvious that I have not posted in a while. It's not that I haven't had anything to say. I have lots and lots to tell you. And boy do I. Ever heard of Showdance Mercury? Anyways, I have been so busy. So many things have been going on in my personal life, my social life, my career life and then there's that Ironman thing I am training for. Whoops. Did I say Ironman. I am so sorry. It is not officially an "Ironman" branded race but it is the same distance as one. They don't make it any shorter or longer with or without the name.

From the title you can see that I am about 8 weeks out and have much more training to do. That would be about 7 weeks of hardcore workouts and a week of tapering. Now somewhere in there, September 25th, I am going to either do the Augusta 70.3 or the Six Gap. Not sure which one yet. More on that in a future post.

I have been having some training/nutrition/mental issues the past month when it comes to my workouts. Training here in Hell really gets hot. No matter what time you decide to do your workouts, it is just plain miserable. The heat is something I will just have to deal with. I am the one who decided to make my first ironman in October which put my training over the summer. Great for me. Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate.

I have been bonking on some of my long rides and runs as of late. I think this has a lot to do with the heat and my nutrition. I recently asked some of my running friends and Ironman veterans for some assistance with my nutrition woes. I got some great tips, information and advice. I thank all of you....for now.

Today I decided to ride alone for three hours. I was not concerned about the miles as much as I was my pace. I dialed it back to a 17-19 average. Riding alone gave me a chance to reflect on how my training is going, among other things. I also did not have to pull any other riders so I was not obligated to increase my speed. And I did not ride any other wheels to pull me along. I concentrated on my nutrition. I was told that I would need to take in about 2500 calories while on the bike during the race. That is a heck of a lot of gels and I just can't do that. I have been experimenting with other foods and today I think I found one that works. I thank B.o.b. for this one. Fig Newtons. I put some in a baggie and was able to eat them while I rode. A couple of them did get a little soggy but the added salt flavor wasn't bad. I got back to my car and felt pretty damn good for the first time in a while.

I then ran for 30 minutes. At about 2o minutes my legs started feeling good and I was getting a better feeling about the run. I still wanted to only go 30 minutes. It is great when a plan comes together. I kind of feel I shorted myself today but in retrospect, I did the distance I wanted to do. I have built back up a little confidence about this whole Great Floridian thing.

So with the help of my family, friends, closer friend and the occasional visit to my Psychotherapist, I should do all right.

First Time For Everything

2011-06-14T17:35:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday I had my fastest time ever for an Olympic Triathlon. But more on that later.

A few of us BRA Triathletes decided to sign up for a triathlon in Clermont, Florida. There were two options. The half Ironman or the Olympic distance. I chose the Olympic distance because I did not feel like running 13.1 miles in the Florida heat. Plus I told B.o.b. that I would do the Olympic if she signed up. And there was a $25 off coupon which made the entry fee a low $60 compared to $160 for St Anthony's. Can't beat that for an Olympic distance. A lot of good things going....so far.

My Ironman training has been moving right along and I felt this triathlon would be a good indicator of just where I am.

On the Friday before the race I decided to buy a new chain for my tri bike. The current chain was at least three years old. I got my chain and was told by the bike shop mechanic that they are easy to put on. Just make sure it is the same length as the old chain. I was also given a handy dandy chain tool. Here goes nothing.

I remove the old chain with ease. Hold it up to the new chain and see that the new one is much longer. I would need to remove some links from the new one. I also noticed that the old one's links don't match up to the new one. The old one has stretched. I had to count the links of the old one and make sure the new one was the same amount. I put the new chain on the bike carefully following the instructions provided. Test ride in the neighborhood and all sounded great. A quieter ride than what I had been used to. Should make for a faster bike because I was also going to use some disc wheels this time.

I headed over to Clermont on Saturday with B.o.b., Speedy Jan, Sweaty Steve, Tish and Casey. Checked in and then drove the course. This was to benefit B.o.b. who is still bike skittish. I had assured her prior to her signing up that the bike course was just a little hilly but no BIG deal. I kind of fibbed a little knowing that she would still be able to do it once it was put before her.

I got a good nights sleep and felt fresh and rested. I just had a good mental attitude for this race for some reason. There was not a large field of competitors. Nine in my age group compared to 300 or so for St Anthony's.

This was a lake swim and there was little to no wind. Flat water. Nice. All males started together. I felt good during the swim. Nice pace. Had problems sighting the buoys but would later find out that I wasn't the only one doing this. Seconds over 27 minutes. Not my fastest but pretty good. Felt even better when I saw a lot of bikes still on the bike racks.

I headed out on the ride. About 3-4 miles in to the ride I turn on to the first of the two big hills for this course. As I start to climb, I look up and see B.o.b. standing next to her bike off to the side of the road. This was about half way up the hill. My first thought is that she had a flat tire and was waiting for someone to assist her. I then remembered that I did not give her the flat tire class that she had requested. No big deal. I would help her fix her flat and then be on my way.

I got off my bike and started walking up to her. She then started walking down towards me. I yelled out asking if she had a flat. She said no and said that she can't get up the hill and was quiting. My first thought was, "are you #@%$^&# kidding me. You were almost to the top. Walk your bike up the hill."

I am not walking my bike up that hill only to do it again for 25 more miles.

I then reminded her that there is only one more hill and she can walk the bike up the hill. It is no big deal to walk your bike. I have done it before and will do it with you now.

Well what about your race.

I don't care. I will catch who ever passes me. This race is more important for you than it is me. Now turn your ass around and walk your bike up this hill. You are not going to QUIT this race. You are not a QUITTER.

I just can't do it John. You don't understand.

Yes you can. TURN YOUR ASS AROUND AND WALK YOUR BIKE UP TO THE TOP OF THIS HILL. Oh and you might want to gear down to an easier gear on the front and it won't be so damn hard.

She gets to the top of the hill. Gets back on her bike and off she goes. In the right direction. Seems her and this Dolly friend still have some work to do.

I get on my bike just before the hill crest and notice that my chain is making a funny sound. I think nothing of it at the time. I fly by B.o.b. and think that I don't have to look back. I will see her on the bike turnarounds and then at the finish.

Now to the next big hill. This hill is a little longer than the first one. I start to debate on whether I needed to post up at the bottom and glare at someone as they pass by just to make sure there were no indecisions. And also see if she was in the right gear. I figure she will be okay because she didn't want me manhandling her again.

Just as I start the climb, my chain comes off the front ring. I unclip and put the chain back on. I start going again and get about another 25 yards when the chain gets jammed up in the rear derailer. I get off the bike and try to fix the chain.

Just then I notice someone just easy pedalling up the hill with a big ass grin. She asks if I needed any help and I said I would be okay. I also reminded her of what a difference the right gear makes. I then start to think, was she just testing me and our friendship when I saw her at that first hill because she looked awfully comfortable going up this hill.

I then discover that my chain has broken. No fixing this. 5-6 miles in to the race and I am done. I calmly lean my bike again a sign post. Take off my shoes and helmet and then sit down on the sidewalk waiting for a ride. My race is over just 56 minutes in to it. My first ever DNF in the 16+ years I have been doing triathlons. The good thing is that there was not going to be two BRA DNF's.

I spent the next hour and a half riding in a Ryder truck helping deliver water and ice to the water stops. I changed a flat back tire for a woman that was doing the Half with over 20 miles to go. I also helped a guy with his flat tire. He later had another flat and had to quit.

I look back on this race as a learning lesson. Don't make any mechanical changes to your bike two days before a race. Don't let your friends down when they need you most no matter how mad they get at you. Help others even when you can't be helped. And don't sweat the small stuff when there is nothing you can do about it. I could have gotten angry about the chain. Cussed and been pissed all day but that would not have changed a thing. Now I would have been pissed had it been 5 miles in to the race I have in October. Oh boy let me tell you.

Pashanit

MC Miles for Moffitt

2011-05-14T18:11:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I was nominated, by Tom and B.o.b., to volunteer at the Miles for Moffitt 5 mile/5k race on Saturday, May 14Th. The race coordinator was looking for someone who would be willing to call out runners names as they crossed the finish line. Who me? Talk with a microphone in front of a large crowd. I couldn't do something like that without a script. Yeah right. Right up my alley some would say.

Miles for Moffitt is a race used to raise money for cancer research at the Moffitt Cancer Center. Check this link for more information. http://www.milesformoffitt.com/

I showed up early for my assignment much to the surprise of some fellow BRA runners. I was not having to run so there was no need to drag the morning along. I was given a cordless mic, a laptop on a table, a chair and plenty of shade. There was a timing mat about 50 feet short of the finish line which would send the runners names to the laptop. This would be easy. Just read the names on the screen. Got it. So I thought.

The 5 milers were off and running. About 30 minutes later the 5ker's were sent on their way. I then began to notice that there were lots of runners. I mean lots of runners. That would be lots of names. Oh boy.

The first runners from the 5 miler were now coming in. This was easy. First and last names. Maybe even their home town and a short bio. About 20 minutes later the chaos began. Now there were numerous runners coming in. Groups of runners. Names flashing all over the screen.

Matthew Kinback, Tampa, FL. Rick Brown, Valrico, FL. Pedro Meraz, Wesley Chapel, FL. Jessica Kennedy, Leesburg, FL. Marcia McCormick, New Port Richey, FL. Mark Courchane, Tampa, FL. Brian Zipler, Michael Coyne, Holly Logan, Hillary Adams, Taisiya Tribushnaya (WTH), Bill, Jim, Patricia, Tom, Karen, Chris, Patricia, Karen, John, Lisa, Sara, Amanda, Andrea, Amanda, Elton, Jess, Patricia, Seleighna, Xiomara, Bridgett, Kelsey, Stephen, Steven, Cass, Nancy, Steve, Patricia, Laverne, Shirley, Meckalekahineyho and then it just got crazy. I was just making names up. So many people were popping up on the laptop that I just yelled out, "Give a shout out for this big group of runners. You know who you are."

All kidding aside, I will admit that again I was humbled by watching people finish a race. Whether they were running or walking, I saw finishers who were crying and/or jumping for joy as they crossed the finish line. I didn't know if they were crying because of a self goal or maybe a family member or friend may have a cancer related illness. And for that moment I was able to share their joy/pain by calling their name out and witnessing their accomplishment. I would definitely like to call their names out again next year. I won't wait to be asked. A special thanks to B.o.b. and Tom for thinking of me when the request was put out there.

Now to the Ironman training. After the Moffitt race, 10:30 a.m., I went to Flatwoods and ran 8 miles in the blistering heat. My training is coming along and I will start ramping it up a little. 23 weeks to go.

Toll booths are.....

When 7=13.5

2011-05-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

Now that I have started my Ironman training I am going to try and post more often to kind of hold my feet to the flame. The posts will somehow include my training for the day, week or whatever is on my mind.

Some time last week, the BRA majority decided that our long Saturday run would be held at Flatwoods Park. Flatwoods has a paved seven mile loop and some trails in and outside the loop. And depending on which entrance you use, there is an additional half mile or two mile start to the loop. So this means you either have an automatic mile or four miles added to your run. All still sounds like basic math.

Because runners in BRA are such nice people, a carpool location was coordinated for the trek to Flatwoods. Not really. It is because gas is so damn high right now and C-Steve just can't ride his bike on the interstate. We loaded up four vehicles and headed out. Bet Al has never done that.

I still had in my mind that I was going to probably run seven. I say this because for the past few months when the Saturday runs were held at Natures Way (a road around a neighborhood in Brandon), I would meet the group in a different location and would end up running only seven instead of the minimum 10.3. So I figured two miles to the loop and then seven on the loop and then two back would be eleven miles. If I went part of the way out and then back I could still make it some sort of seven if need be. But I am one of those runners that just runs how I feel and usually doesn't wear a watch. Not sure if that makes me a ZEN runner but whatever.

A few of the runners were going to run trails and the rest. You guessed it. Were not. I was still on the fence about running trails. You know how much I like trail running based on my earlier post about the J'ville Xterra Tri.

Two miles to the first water stop. I felt good. A good pace and I was actually running in the front of the front pack which was actually a warm up for them but hey I will take it. We re-group and start on the 7 mile loop. I am still undecided about the trail run. Here comes the entrance to the trail and there I go in to the trail behind C-Steve and Speedy Jan. I was followed by Strawberry E and a female I had not seen before. I shall call her, "Soon to be ahead of me" for now.

I felt good in the beginning on this here trail. Nothing crazy. No hills or fallen trees to jump over. Just a nice back and forth trail which began to seem to take forever. Several times we would cross a dirt road but not the paved loop. I kept thinking that at any turn we would end up back on the paved loop and I could just head back towards that two mile entrance. Not happening.

We came to a rest area. I don't think it was an official rest area but I will call it that since it seems they were waiting on me to catch up. I asked Speedy Jan if we had been running for about 37 miles already and she said, "no. Just 5.3." We continued on. One thing about trail runs is that you can make your own trails if you wish to catch up quicker. I did that more than once.

We finally come to the paved loop. I was told that we were now on mile 7. Yey. I am done. What do you mean this part of the paved loop is the 3.5 point. So your saying it is 5.5 miles back to the cars. No more yey. "Why the long face Captain?"

I know you math geeks are thinking. "Captain Nuts. 7+5.5= 12.5" I realize that. Remember that half mile section to the seven mile loop I mentioned earlier. Well that is where a bathroom is located and I needed to get to that spot. This was not the time for a woodsman type potty break. I will save you the details of that mile. Unless you request more info. So there is the extra mile to make it 13.5.

That last 6.5 miles were ran without any company. Which is how I usually prefer it as long as I have a working ipod which just so happens I did. I will admit my ass was tired. I kept a nice steady pace and only walked at the two remaining water stops. This lone runner was hoping someone, anyone, would have come back and ran in with me for the last mile just for a mental boost but that's not going to happen in the Ironman so I guess it was okay that it didn't happen here.

I get back to the cars just as the search parties were being organized. I got kudos for running more than I set out to. I smile on the outside but was not on the inside. Nothing like kicking off my Ironman training with a bang.

For all of it.........

Miss You Mama.....

2011-05-08T17:35:00.001-07:00

This is a re-post for someone who most definitely deserves it. Happy Mother's Day Mom. I still miss you.

Dear Mom, I know it has been a while since we have talked and even longer since I wrote you. I want to tell you how much I love and miss you dearly. You are still such a special woman in my life and hold a deep part of my heart. I should not have waited for this "Mother's Day" to reach out to you. Life sometimes gets so busy that we tend to overlook the people that mean so much to us. That is a lame excuse but it is the best I can do right now. On this day I would like to reflect back on our lives together as Mother and Son.

I know it was hard for you at times raising your three children as a single mother for the most part. You working those long hours only to come home and still manage to cook our dinner and put up with all the fussing that two brothers and a sister do. You were so strong not to let it show but I later learned that you were so tired at times and still kept going. Being the oldest was such a big responsibility for me but you never asked me to do things that you did not think I could do. I am so grateful now for that. When I was young I did not realize you were setting me in motion to be the man I am today. Absent all the crazy stuff I seem to find myself doing but hey if it were easy everyone would do it.

I want to thank you mom for being there for me as I was growing up. I can remember all those times you assured me everything would be okay. Like the time when my sister threw the plugged in light socket at me and it stuck to my chest and started electrocuting me. You assured me that I was not dying and the black hairs on my chest were just an early sign of puberty. And when my brother would throw his Christmas Tonka trucks at me out of anger you would assure me that he would eventually grow out of playing with toy trucks. I remember when I was playing outside and came inside thirsty and started drinking from the water jug in the kitchen. After I finished half the gallon I then looked on the jug and read "plant food". You assured me that I was not going to start growing broccoli in my stomach. I remember when my heart would get broken by a girl from school. You would tell me there are other fishes in the sea. You would also tell me that it also doesn't hurt to be a shark every once in a while. I thank you for not getting mad when you returned home from a week long business trip and my girlfriend had moved in. I think you knew it was a temporary thing and also knew she had a different agenda. Some lessons in life are best learned the hard way you would say. You would padlock the cupboards because you were tired of my brother and I eating all the groceries before the week was over.

I would like to apologize to you again for all those things I did growing up that made you upset, disappointed or down right pissed off at me. There are some things that I did that I never told you about. I do remember you saying long ago, "Your Mother always knows." I agree with that statement whole heartily. There were times once I became an adult that we would talk about things I did in high school and you would finish my sentences. "I can't believe you knew that." I use that statement now with the girls but I replace Mother with Father. But then again there are things that this Father may never want to know or at least admit knowing.

I would also like to thank you mom for being such a great Grandmother. The girls love you so. They talk about you and the fun times we have had. The times when they would stay with you when we were on vacation. I knew the only reason you wanted us up there was to have the girls stay with you. You taught them so much that I am sure it will help them in their adult lives. They miss you so much.

I appreciate those times we would talk about things in our lives as friends would do. You and I became great friends as we got older. We became great listeners as well. You were wiser than I could ever be. I try to pass it on when dealing with the girls. I can also see some of you in them when they come at me with something I have done wrong. Especially the oldest one. Which seems to be more than needed lately.

There is some much more I want to say to you right now. If I had the chance I would. I will say that I love you and forever will. This Mother's Day gig is all about you but you never needed a specific day to be recognized. You were the best mother you could be everyday and I would tell you that right now if I could.

I remember the last time I told you I loved you. It was on August 9, 2005. You laid in that hospital bed with complications from Colon Cancer surgery. You never knew you had it. Just some exploratory surgery because of some recent abdominal pain. Who would have known. We were already told that you would be leaving us soon and there was nothing we could do about it. You were not even awake. I held your finger ever so tight as a child would do for that comfort feeling when being led somewhere by their parent. You led me to so many places mom. Some of those places I have yet to reach but have not gotten off the road. Merely a journey, right. I only let go mom once I knew you were at peace. Keep looking down on us and know that we love you with no regrets. "A Mother always knows."

I love you,

John

As a friend of mine said in an earlier posting, always tell your family/friends you love them. You never know when they will be leaving you for the final time.

The Streak Continues....

2011-05-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I finished my, what seems like 50th, 16th St Anthony's Triathlon in a row. St. Anthony's is an Olympic distance tri which usually consists of a 1.5k swim, 40k bike and a 10k run. I say usually because the past few years the swim course has been cancelled, shortened and deadly. This year, due to high winds, the swim was moved and shorted to a 1k. My time of 2:31 was about average for me but I am done settling for average.

I will admit that I have grown tired of this race. Not the race itself because the course and venue are great. It is the mentality I have when it comes to training for this race. Since I have finished it so many times I am of the mindset that "oh I can finish that with no problem." That is true but it causes me to lose focus on training and I basically roll out of bed race morning and go do it. And it never fails that when I get half way through the run I start to wish I had ran more. No one to blame but me. Imagine if I totally trained for this race what I could accomplish. Well anyways, I digress.

This years race was no exception. A great, short, swim. A better than average, windy, bike. Followed by a...you guessed it. Slower run. I still averaged a 9:08 pace for a 10k but I know I can do better. I get frustrated when I pass all these guys on the bike and they turn around and pass me on the run. I shall work on that.

There were great moments yesterday. Several people from the BRA running group competed, very well I must say, in their first Olympic distance triathlon. All of them did say they would do it next year. We should also move our tent closer to the finish line so we can all cheer on our friends as they finish. There was also a guy that used to weigh 500 pounds cross the finish line. The race also has a Challenged Athletes division. This will humble you watching the Challenged Athletes cross the finish line. As a side note, I first started doing triathlons the year after I watched the St Anthony's Triathlon 17 years ago. Seeing people giving it their all and realizing that I could do the same if I just tri(ed) got me motivated.

I now need a new goal to focus on. I have decided to participate in my first Ironman distance triathlon this year. The Great Floridian in Clermont, Florida on Oct 22. I realize that I can't just roll out of bed and do that race. I must train and get my mind right well before September. I say this as I am eating two pieces of cheesecake, but what the hell today is my birthday. I am not getting any younger and the Ironman triathlon is next on the tri ladder.

Famous first words, "starting tomorrow" I will begin my Ironman training journey. This will have to include running more than twice a month. I should also watch what I eat as well. That does not mean I will totally give up the McDouble. Just not more than one a week. I am allowed a cheat day you know. Oh and I will have to cut back on beer. Not too much since I homebrew now and I must taste test what I make. It's the right thing to do before allowing others to drink what I make.

Steps To The Rave.......

2011-04-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

I decided this year that I would cut back on doing Sprint Triathlons and concentrate more on longer distance tri's. The cost for a Sprint just doesn't justify the hour workout on race day. I will still do one if there is a friendly wager or a group thing.

Having said that, this past Saturday I went to the Escape From Ft DeSoto Triathlon as a supporter, partial coach and spectator. This was the first triathlon in about 15 years that I attended not as a participant. I knew it would feel weird and it most definitely did. More on that later. I got to the race much later than I would have had I been competing. Wasn't me racing. I felt no pressure and knew that today I just had to hang around and yell things....and yell I did. I still felt the urge to walk in to the bike transition area. Of course just to check on the up and coming BRA triathletes to make sure they have their stuff all in order. The right shoes in the right place. The proper racking of the bike. The right bottle of fluids for the bike ride.

I walked to the swim start. The water was glass. Again I had that urge just to jump in for a quick swim. Nope couldn't do it. Just offered a few words of advice to the UAC's. That water will probably get choppy once the swim starts. A bumped in to a friend of mine that was competing. He asked why I did not have a swim cap on. He also thought I was injured. I told him I was just there to cheer. Again I had the urge to take my shorts off and get in my wave group and swim when the horn sounded. Anyone got the pack of smokes?

I ran down to the bike transition after yelling at the BRA's Tri Team as they all exited the water. I again offered some words of wisdom and encouragement to the UAC's. I also used this time to watch the different techniques used to mount and dismount the bikes. I have never been one to keep my shoes attached to the pedals before the bike start. I may try that this year. With practice first of course. Once all the BRA UAC's were off their bikes, I headed over to the finish line.

I have been at this location many times. I would have to say that for the first time I was actually looking at the faces of the athletes and really appreciated my sport for what it is and the challenge it gives. I watched people off all ages, shapes, sizes and colors give what appeared to be their best for this one day. I watched as people would cheer each other on that last 100 yards before the finish. I also found myself looking at the calves of the runners going by to guess where I would have finished. The calves? The sport of triathlon makes you write your age down on your calf. That way when you are getting passed, you can either speed up to your age group or slow down because the person is not in your age group.

All in all, I had a great time just watching the race. I would say there was no pressure but there actually was. Until next time.....St A's. I will not be a spectator then.

Pilates. Is that French for "I'll kick your ass"?

2010-12-27T21:28:00.000-08:00

Having already posted a story about my Hot Yoga adventure it is only fair that I do the same for a recent Pilate's session.

I am at the Y on the spin bike minding my own business. I am just about 10 minutes in to my hour work out when Speedy Jan (Ragnar Half Nuts) suddenly appears in front of me out of nowhere. Hence the name Speedy Jan. I figured she was just going to say hi and give me encouraging words. Nope.

"Want to do Pilate's with me?" At that point I am thinking that she is surely talking about something in the future. Like maybe January. You know. Part of some new triathlon training program since I am attempting an Ironman in 2011. So of course I say sure. And I just keep on spinning. She says c'mon then. Well when does the class start? In two minutes. Fight or flight is on my mind. I have no mat. I will get you one. Damn. Just like that Speedy is gone. Damn. Damn. Damn. I knew I should have gone to the Y earlier. As I am getting off the bike a woman says, "so you're going to do Pilate's? Good luck." Damn.

I get in the room and tell SJ that I would like to be in the back of class so as not to be laughed at. At least that is where B.o.b. put me when I went to hot yoga and I didn't even ask her to. What are friends for. So there my mat lays right up front. Who are my friends? Again, just like hot yoga, low male participation. I see two other guys. One that does triathlons and the other guy was yapping with three young ladies. We all know why he was here.

I asked SJ how much downward dog we would be doing. Oh you will pray for downward dog. Enough of the damn's already.

We start standing and doing some light stretching. This was probably about the easiest it was going to be. I try not to look in the mirror so I would not see what everyone else could see. I then start to realize that I am not as flexible as I thought. Now to the fun stuff.

We lay on the mat and start the ab/core work. Again I realize that I have lost some of my flexibility. I can blame it on the Christmas season and not my desire for craft beer lately.

Now we are told to lay on our side and lift our leg that is on the floor towards the ceiling. Do what? And then make circles with that same leg. I raise my hand instead to ask if it matters how high I raise my leg. Just do the best you can I hear. Small circles. Big circles. Stretch forward and then reach back. All with this same leg that is on the ground. Again more circles. My ass is burning. No really. I smell smoke.

We are then told to turn over and do the same thing again with the other leg. Why did I know this was going to happen. I look back at SJ and she is just a smiling. Hopefully not at me. Yeah right. Thanks again SJ. What seemed like hours was only 10 minutes. Are you kidding me.

Below is what SJ's circles were and what my circles were during this mess.

Needless to say we can see by this example who is in better Pilate's shape. Well pretty much everyone in the room was on the left. I was told by SJ after class that this was a stand-in instructor and the class is usually harder. Great way to convince me to return.

All kidding aside, it was not as hard as I made out to be. Yeah right. You keep on saying that to yourself Walt. I do thank SJ for asking me to go to the class with her. I would not have done it on my own. I will do it without her in the future so I can put my mat in the back of the class. SJ now owes me a hot yoga class. I can't say one is easier than the other. The fact that I am willing to do the hot yoga again before the Pilate's may say something though.

A new year is on the horizon. May you find yourself in 2011. If you found yourself in 2010 then help someone find themselves in 2011.

Begaga.

Ragnar 2010 Chapter 2....Nothing Like Starting Alone

2010-12-09T17:40:00.000-08:00

I now have both my ipods. Oh and yes the two power converters. Gotta have those Christmas lights working.

Speedy Jan is driving and I am the co-pilot. I was doing my best at navigating and reassuring B.o.b. that we would make it to the start in plenty of time. I kept pointing at the arrival time on the GPS. We had a start time of 11 a.m. and the GPS showed our arrival time of 10:32.

Van 1 was well on their way. They were due to arrive at about 10. There was a mandatory safety briefing held an hour before the team's start time. Only Van 1 had to attend this meeting so I knew we were in no hurry. Sort of.

This gave us plenty of time to catch up with Jen who just got in the night before from Michigan. I was also going to try and get a nap in but fat chance once The Caribbean moved from the back seat to the seat behind me. The stories he decided to tell were something else. Let me share one of them with you. I think it was his amazement that there is Braille on a drive thru ATM. So blind people can't drive? He also wanted us to know that if he were a woman and married to Stevie Wonder, he would buy all Stevie's shirts from Wal-mart. They would all be white cotton.

Captain Nuts' Tip #9. When you are the one always pulling someones leg, don't assume that your leg is being pulled when something does not sound believable.

We are about 20 minutes from the start when I get a call from Van 1. I am told of some bad news. They were getting gas and turned the van off. The van did not start back up. The hood was opened and the battery was corroded. They were able to get a jump and were almost to the start. This was not good.

I told everyone else in Van 2 what I was just told and not a person in the van believed this really happened. They are just messing with you. There's no way a rental van would have a dead battery. And why were they already getting gas. The van came with a quarter tank is why.

Captain Nuts' Tip #10. When renting a vehicle, try to use a Nationally known company and not someone from Craigslist.

We are now about a mile from the start when I see Van 1 turn in front of us. I point at the van and tell my Van 2ers there goes Van 1. I guess they were not kidding. There is no way we are going to start at 11. I now feel vindicated for having to go back to my house all those times.

I have SJ drop me off at the check-in so I could explain our situation and try to get a new start time. I could see the other teams were finishing the safety meeting. We were allowed to start at 11:30 but would be the only team. We still had to get the safety briefing out of the way first.

We all gather around for our personalized safety meeting. We get our numbers, orange flags, shirts and goodies. Shorty Shorts is running in circles in anticipation. He said this is the first time he has started a race where he is the only person. I told him not to get lost. He said he does not get lost. I then reminded him of the time we did the Dances With Dirt race. "Well I won't get lost this time." He was off and running. He only had 3.4 miles for his first leg.

Oh and Van 1. I had to jump it off so they could get going. Shorty Shorts had assured me that the first place they go after runner 6 is done will be an Autozone.

Now time to decorate Van 2. we had to be mindful this year of our visuals. One of the rules was the decorations had to be explainable to a 4th grader. Hell these days that gave us plenty of wiggle room. And with a team name like Half Nuts, we had an out. B.o.b. made us some cloth signs this year. We learned from last year that cardboard does not like the wind. We also used a different tape and some window chalk. Big nut attached to van grill. Decorations done.

Captain Nuts' Tip #11. If something disappears and you don't try to find it, then you probably don't need it anyways.

Let's go eat. McDonald's anyone?

Ragnar 2010...Here Come Deez

2010-12-07T18:03:00.000-08:00

Those that follow my blog have surely read the Half Nuts Ragnar recaps by Redhead and B.o.b. by now. I seem to have a different take on what I observed and experienced. And as a bonus, I can't seem to wrap my recaps up in 2-3 blogs. Much less 2-3 months. So here is my December edition of the recap.

Captain Nuts' Tip #1. When preparing for a trip, make a list of what to pack. Since you are making a list, pack what's on the list. The old saying of, "If I forget something I will just buy it when I get there," does not always apply. Especially if what you forgot you need before you get to where you are getting to.

Captain Nuts' Tip #2. If you forget something, try to remember you forgot it within 5 minutes of leaving where the item is located that you forgot.

I was going to be picked up from my house at 7:15 in the a.m. I knew this for about a week. Plenty of time to pack and make some mix cd's for both vans. Just don't forget to make a list of what to pack. I mean I did this same trip last year. What could be so hard.

I decided to start making the mix cd's at about 11 in the p.m. the night before I was going to be picked up. I then started packing at 6 a.m. the morning of. And that list. Oh I made one. It was in my head with all the other stuff going on. So tip #1 would have been very handy had I come up with that tip before this blog. But I did get the mix cd's made.

Speedy Jan and The Caribbean picked me up in the Classic right on time. At the time, they were not aware that I was just about 57% packed. I opened the garage door and just started tossing things on to the driveway whether they were needed or not. I was not in panic mode. I really wasn't. SJ and TC loaded the bed of the Classic and I ran through that "list" in my head and everything was checked. I promise.

We then left and headed to Avis to get Van 2. WAIT. I need to go back to the house. I forgot something that I really need. I must have this bag. I could not say at the time what it was. But I did need what was inside this bag. Very important. I grabbed the bag and now we were off. Tip #2 was successful at this point. At this point.

Just about the time we get to Avis, which is well past the 5 minute from home mark, I realize that I forgot my mp3 players. I love music. Music is my soulmate so to speak. I knew we were well past the turnaround point but I decided to bring it up anyway. I thought for a moment that I could just buy an mp3 player while Van 1 was running. SJ then reminded me there would be no music on it. Tips #1 and #2 would have been nice to know before today.

Captain Nuts' Tip #3. If you forget something very important to you, come up with another forgotten item that is important to have for everyone else. This will allow you to get your item and not appear to be all about you.

We finally arrived at Shorty Shorts' house. Most of the team is there and the others are in route. All seems to be well until I see the Christmas lights that are going to be used for van decorations being given to someone in Van 1. In order for the Christmas lights to work, a power converter is used. Who is supposed to bring the two power converters. Would you believe it was me. This is where Tip #3 comes in to play. I get to get my ipods now. This was going to take some convincing. This is also why I am Captain Nuts.

I have a private meeting with Junior Captain Shorty Shorts. I tell him that Van 1 will head to the start. Van 2 goes back East and gets the two power converters and then meets Van 1 at the start with 30 minutes to spare before the race begins. Plenty of time. What could go wrong. No really. What could go wrong?

To be continued.....

Ragnar....already or all ready.

2010-11-14T16:57:00.000-08:00

Hard to believe a year has passed since Ragnar Central Florida 2009. What a year makes. Here comes team Half Nuts again. As Captain Nuts I would like to say thanks to my entire team from last year. I thank you for what you did for the team. Had the Captain kept up with his blogging duties the rest of the world could have known what you did as well.

There are six new additions to team Half Nuts this year but the core tastes the same. Five of the six are virgins...to Ragnar that is. Not sure about the biblical virgin part but hey 202 miles in a van counts as something.

I will use this blog to recap last years event based solely on notes that were taken during the trip from Van 2 which was occupied by Your Captain, Redhead Jen, Shorty Shorts Jason, P-Funk, Caribbean Steve and B.o.b. Hopefully my new victims, I mean runners, will get the idea that this is not only a race but an adventure. A funtastic one. It is truly what you/they make of it. You see I again will be in Van 2. Van 2 For Life Baby as the tattoo says.

Sponge Bob nipple band-aids.
S.S. chest hair can be in corn rows/Snoop Dogg perm.
C-Steve finger splashing water for his homies.
Captain stopped short for Shorty Shorts.
Steve revoked B.o.b.'s black card because she wants to jump out of planes.
Steve insist Jen teach him to text.
Sweet Caroline sing along with drum solo by Steve.
The newly diagnosed Leak-a-litis Syndrome.
Steve has the strength of an infant.
The Captain knows all since he is a triathlete.
Ain't no crying in Ragnar.
Tuna or onions.
These slap bracelets can cut a bitch.
P-Funk beats on back window of van because the light was left on.
Red pees too much.
Red Bull keeps you awake while pooing.
Redhead admits girls poo.
B.o.b. has the shortest intestines.
Steve ain't sleep yet.
Triathletes are human also. They get nervous poops.
Shorty shorts had to catch the runners that Steve could not.
Is this an exchange point? Nope. Just a D.U.I. checkpoint.
How do you spell poop noises? With a v maybe.
Red is so white that she glows in the dark.
That was an exchange we just drove past.
I can't see. Can you have Jen stand over here.
Steve injured his labia while riding the bike.
Why is the navigator sleeping?
Hey, it's not pretty. It's not sexy. It may not even be healthy but damn it, it's Ragnar. And it's an adventure.
The Captain showed Red and Shorty Shorts a big bug in the tent.
The Captain suggested Steve wear a job bra so he didn't slap himself in the face so much when he ran.
Shorty Shorts, "I do what I want." Said prior to the cell phone call to his girlfriend.
Random booty shaking on the side of the highway by the Van 2 dancers.
Steve, "this is the three best days of my life."
Red loaned her shorts to Shorty Shorts. So we thought but then were told they are his.
B.o.b. is deceptively slow looking.
Shorty Shorts, "I can't believe I am single." Said after the phone call to his girlfriend.
Red pees so much it's no wonder she has rubber sheets.
Steve just wants to have a job washing balls.
It smells like Tiger Breeze in here.
If I can't please it then I will damage it.

That is just a short list of the things that were said and so many were left out due to their personal meanings, lack of humour or just plain vulgarity. I think B.o.b. has that list but hey she can start a new list this Friday.

I truly look forward to this weekend's race. The past two years have been great experiences. I have a great group of ten runners and one Islander. We are not doing this for any finish line awards cause we ain't fast enough. We are not in it to win it. We each have our own reasons why. Some for the love. Some for the money. And some for the country. I for one am doing it because if I was able to convince eleven suckers to pay entry fees, I would get a free entry. Ragnar here come the Half Nuts. Led by yours truly.

Captain Nuts

Size Does Matter...

2010-10-23T01:08:00.000-07:00

Does size matter? That has been a long debated question and depending on who you ask and when you do it depends on the answer you get. I will have to say size does matter when it comes to tents. Tents you ask. Well of course tents. What were you thinking?

I love camping. I always have. I prefer the rugged style camping where it is just you, a sleeping bag, a tent, a fire and Mother Nature. No hot shower is required. Living on the West Coast of Florida kind of limits you in your camping options for day trips. You have Ft Desoto, Hillsborough River State Park and Best Buy.

I have two daughters and wanted to take them camping. Kind of break them in easy. Our first trip was when they were 7 and 4. Where would you take kids camping in Florida. Well what do you know. There is a campground at Disney World. The Fort Wilderness Campground which is only an hour away.

I had recently purchased a five person tent from the sports store. I figured there was only four of us so a five person tent would be fine. Two adults. Two kids. Plenty of room. But wait. I was also told that blow up mattresses would be required. What? Blow up mattresses. That's not camping. Suppose I was the one to be broken in easy.

The girls were always excited to go to DW. This time they were especially excited because we were going to camp. I had made them forts in the living room many times but this time the fort was outside. We checked in and found our plot of land. We were next to a large RV/bus. This thing was probably the size of our house.

Now it's show time. Daddy has to set up camp. I take the tent out and begin to set it up. I had the tent up in less than ten minutes. Now did I mention the blow up mattresses. When I say blow up, they were literally blow up mattresses. I am looking for the electric air pump. I was then told these could only be blown up by hand or mouth. And for some reason they could only be blown up by the on-site male. I spent the next hour and a half blowing up these two twin mattresses. All the while I am sure there was some guy standing in the mansion on wheels next to us looking out the tinted window with a glass of bourbon on the rocks saying look at the common folks.

One thing I began to notice was that these mattresses side by side were larger than the tent. This was going to be interesting. The mattresses were put in the tent but not side by side. We just wanted to walk around the campground before it got too late. It was also dinner time.

Now it was bed time and everyone was ready for bed. This is when we realized that the mattresses did not fit in the tent. When put side by side, the mattresses curved up along the tent walls. Thank goodness the tent was staked down. The sleeping arrangements? Should the adults be on the outside weighing down the mattresses. But would we roll on to the kids and have a tragic event. We decided to have the adults sleep in the middle and the little ones would sleep on the edge of the mattresses. About every hour we would have a ball of family meeting in the middle. After the third time we just kept on sleeping.

The next morning all was well. The experience was one of those family things that you talk about later. A character breakfast always helps. I had a different take. I neatly folded the tent. Placed it back in the box and returned it to the sports store that Monday. I bought an 8 person tent and have had no issues since. The first tent would probably have been plenty of room for 5 but when you have to put air mattresses inside, size does matter.

Is It Hot In Here Or Just Me?

2010-08-29T19:09:00.001-07:00

I am all about trying new fitness or sports activities within reason. And I don't just mean lawn darts, beer pong or bowling. I mean real fitness challenges. So when a running friend, B.o.B., was talking after a group run about doing "Hot Yoga", it perked my interest. She claimed that others from the running group, including guys, had already participated. Knowing who they were I figured why not give it a try. I did a pilates class some time ago and heard Yoga was easier. I can already touch my toes. What could be so hard about some slow stretching while humming.

I asked many questions the closer I got to class. Do I have to wear those pants? If I can wear shorts should they at least be knee length. Should I stretch a little before the class so I don't look like a rookie? Would Chipotle be okay for lunch the day of class? How hot is hot yoga? Will I be the only dude? Not that that would be a deal breaker or anything. Just wondering my ratio. Is there some type of beginner's curve? All I was told was to not be late. So I showed up a half hour early. I called B.o.b. to see if it was okay to take a nap while I waited. She discouraged this. So many rules. Not sure if they are her rules or yoga rules.

Asana Yoga of Brandon was going to be my sweat box for the evening. For at least 90 minutes according to their web site. The studio was inside a small strip store building. I was glad to see it was not part of a bigger gym chain. I still found myself parking in the rear though. Once inside the studio I was impressed. Wood floors. Soothing decor. A water fountain. An awesome smell. And an emergency exit.

B.o.b. checked me in as a new student and used one of her free sessions for me. I had to sign a waiver and provide some basic information. While I did this B.o.b. set me up in the corner and kind of out of the way. Not sure if that was good or bad. It was close to the emergency exit so I did not complain. One of the students asked if we were using straps tonight. Straps? Yoga? I visualized me not being able to do the "Walking Dog Climbing Cat" pose and then being strapped up until the pose was completed. I was assured I would not be strapped to anything. Relief.

I sat down on my mat and towel. I noticed there was a burlap looking type blanket folded next to my space. Others had the same type of blanket. This must be used during the "Bucking Donkey" pose. Great. This should be a show.

I was expecting my instructor to be an old skinny bald man wearing a diaper. This was not the case at all. A young woman named Alissa. She seemed very relaxed and encouraging. But what did I know, could have been a ploy until we got started. I mean, she did unplug the water fountain.

The music started and here we go. Sitting up straight. Eyes closed and relaxed breathing. I at least was not the only guy there. A middle school boy was with his mother.

I can't tell you everything we did. I did the best I could. Some of the moves and poses were pretty hard. I was able to stay in the "Downward Dog" pretty good. That "Warrior's" pose was kicking my butt. My favorite was the "Baby" position which was just sitting on your knees and leaning over. We should have done more of this. The instructor did tell us that if we needed to take breaks we could. I did not want to do this. I was trying to hang in there. There was some plank move we did that had us in a push up position and then turned our body to the side and lift up one arm towards the ceiling. My stability arm started shaking like spaghetti. I often looked around and compared myself to others. I wasn't doing that bad. Hopefully there was no wagering.

There was a time when we were lying on our backs and the lights started to dim. I thought, either I am blacking out or she's dimming the lights. I dare not say anything out loud. I saw the instructor walk by so I just started to laugh. There were many times that I laughed at myself and at what I was seeing in front of me. I was very careful to keep all comments to myself. I did not want to get kicked out on the first go.

I did sweat a good bit. The class was tougher than I thought it would be. The instructor was very helpful and only had to reposition me once. Not to say that I was doing everything right. She just needed to spend time with the other students. I will definitely go back and give this another try. Namaste.

Daddy Sign This

2010-08-25T18:27:00.000-07:00

Us guys have all learned over the years that if you want to get out of doing something again, you have to mess it up the first time. Take laundry for instance. Wash all the clothes together. Colors with whites. Cottons with polyesters. Towels with delicates. And then put them all in the dryer on the same temperature.

Grocery shopping. I don't need a list. What was it I was supposed to get. Was that large eggs or medium. 2% or 1% milk. The purple top or the blue top. Wheat bread or white wheat bread. These bananas look fine. Hey that is a great deal on yogurt. 20 for $6. Hey I could sure use a half gallon of orange juice. And also a half gallon of grapefruit juice. You know what they say about grapefruit juice. I better put this small basket back and get a cart. What was on that list again. Wish the cell phone reception were better in here. What do you mean we are on a budget. What do you mean you never ever spent this much on groceries. Yes we need this many cans of beans. I swore I put the milk in the cart.

Making the bed. Is there really a need for that. There was a need while I was in the Army because there was some pissed off dude with a Smokey The Bear hat on yelling at me if I didn't . But now? Why tuck the covers in when your just going to take them out.

Yesterday was the first day of school for my girls. Year after year their mother has always been the one to sign forms and look at papers and get school supplies and so on. But last night when my oldest asked her mother to sign papers, I spoke up and volunteered my signature. Figured I would finally get involved after all these years. My oldest reluctantly agreed.

She began to pass me forms and just say sign here. Well I really wanted to read the fine print before I signed hers or my life away. It wasn't like I was buying a car. Well who reads all those forms. After about the third form, I just started scribbling my signature. Should have read the fine print. I tell my youngest that I would sign her forms the next day.

The next evening, my oldest comes to me, in front of her mother and sister, and tells me that I signed some form that I should not have. "Daddy. Because you signed this form, I am not allowed to get on the computer in class. How can I do my Keyboarding class? And this form you signed means I have bowel and kidney issues which mean I may need an escort to the bathroom." I thought Keyboarding was a music class not a business class. And I don't want her just wondering the halls.

Needless to say the next thing I hear is my youngest say, "Mommy can you sign my forms?" No more forms for me to sign this year. Yippy.

What A Difference A Week Makes Part 2

2010-08-05T17:57:00.000-07:00

I am now looking for B.o.B. Hoping to find her before the race starts. Give her some last minute tips. Some words of encouragement. Some words of wisdom. All the while hoping that she forgets that I forgot about her earlier this morning. Found her. What a cute pink thing she has stretched on her head. Those things do stretch.

So I hear you been looking for me and cussing me out. She tells me that she was totally lost in the transition and did not know how to set up her stuff or what to do. I suppose she forgot the transition set up class I gave her not two mornings prior by her car after a leisure bike ride. Oh yeah. "I got it." Well then. I say to her, "sometimes the mama bird has to just push the baby out of the nest and hope you fly." She says, "this bird just got squished on the pavement." Well hopefully that bird can swim.

I was assigned the third wave for this triathlon. Males 40-49 age group. I decided to take the inside lane, so to speak, and get to the turn buoy before all the other dudes get there. Great idea in theory but does not always work. The horn blows and we are off. I am able to almost walk to the first buoy. I know you are supposed to swim as much as possible but some other guy was swimming in front of me and I did not want to get kicked in the face. The water was a little rough but I ended up 9th out of the water in my age group.

Once out of the water there was this short lagoon we had to go through to get to the bikes. The lagoon was about 20 yards across and about waist deep in the center. I was not going to swim at this point due to the color, smell and taste of the water. I could handle squishy toes for 20 yards.

Got to my bike rack and realized all the bikes were still there. I was feeling a little better at this point. Got on my bike and headed out for the 10 miler. I kept a steady 22-24 mph pace. I was trying to save my legs for the run. The wind was at my back for 5 and you know what the last 5 was. Only passed by two guys in my age group on the bike. Passed one of them before the bike finish. I was one of those guys saying "on your left" that B.o.B. was upset about. Although I never saw her on the bike course or I would have said it to her. Got off the bike and this time no other bikes on the rack. Good sign.

I have this issue about to wear or not to wear socks on the run. Triathlons are all about timing. It takes a little time to put socks on. The last time I did a sprint triathlon without socks I got some nice blisters on my feet. The very next triathlon I wore socks. If my math is right it seems every other tri is a sock race. Well no socks this time. Put my shoes on and I am off and running.

Felt very good on the run. I did not wear my Garmin so I was not aware of my actual pace. I thought I was probably doing about 8:30 miles. The run was hot. No shade. Not to mention no shade. I initially was pushing for a 1:05 finish but wound up with a 1:06:09. I think this is my fastest sprint time. I know I have some areas to work on. But after my incident at the Xterra triathlon, I am happy with this ending. I was able to cheer on my fellow BRA runners that were still finishing since I had no need to be in the red tent.

I reserve this space to thank those that came out and cheered us on for this race. It does mean a lot to have you there. I know other spectators just yell out stuff but it is different when it is someone you know. I would like to thank Jess, Chris, Tanya, Patricia, Elton and Esther for the yells, screams, laughs and hugs and kisses.

Almost forgot. I got some damn nice blisters on my right foot. Good thing the next race is a socks on one.

What A Difference A Week Makes

2010-08-01T19:06:00.000-07:00

The headline in last Monday morning's sports section of the local paper was, "Down Goes Walt! Down Goes Walt!" Having succomb to the needle, I still had another triathlon, Topgun 10, looming less than 6 days away. All be it a sprint, it was still going to be hot. My manager had me listed as day to day. But in reality aren't we all day to day.

I was going to do this triathlon no matter what. There were atleast three people from my running group that were making their triathlon debut. One of which is B.o.B. I was also kind of coaching her a little along the way so I deffinately had to make a showing.

I had to approach this race a little different than I did the Xterra tri. Actually, a lot different. I was told that since I dehydrated there was the possibility that I could relapse. Really. Relapse. That sounds like some type of 12 stepper condition. And as any good 12 stepper would do, I decided no beer or alcohol during the week. Sorry Red Stripe girls Walt will sit this one out.

I drank plenty of water during the week. And just about a gallon on Friday. My dinner was a little different this time. I normally have some type of pasta with chicken. My youngest daughter loves her some General Tso's chicken. Well since your ordering takeout, isn't lo-mein a type of pasta. I was told it was. I shall have me some shrimp lo-mein. And it was good. But so was the sweet-n-sour chicken. The wonton soup was also yummy. Wontons are pasta, right. That's what I thought.

Went to bed early due to the 4 a.m. wake up. That is the sucky thing about local triathlons. The early wake ups. Best be early to the race than late and rushing around and also standing in the long ass port-o-let lines. Can't do everything on a warm-up swim. My alarm clock goes off at 4 and I for that brief moment could not for the life of me figure out why my alarm clock going off so damn early. Oh yeah.

I put all my gear on the curb and laid on the driveway trying to catch a short nap while waiting on my ride. The last time I laid down on the concrete...well you know the story.

Picked up by Jan and on the way to meet B.o.B. who was going to follow us. Had to make sure she got to the race in time. No backing out now there B.o.B. I told here that if she was not at the meet location we would come to her house and yank her ass out of bed. Low and behold, there she was right on time. Actually it looked as if she had been there all night but who am I to question her committment.

Got to the race site and realized there were a lot of other people who did not want to stand in the long ass port-o-let line. Damn them. Got my bike out and gear ready to proceed to the bike transition area when I heard a bit of a desperation scream. "I can't get my front wheel on! I just can't." Well who do you think that was. "I just can't do it." I calmly walked over and loosened the front skewer just a wee bit more and success. I then started to adjust the brake and she told me, "I got it." Now that is something I had been noticing since we started riding together. I would try to help her out at times with the bike and she would, as a strong woman would, tell me can do it. Well then. You can't hold someones hand forever can you.

**A free triathlon tip from Walt.** If you can get your race packet the day before the race, do so. If not, find out what time the packet pick-up opens on race morning and be there 15 minutes prior to that.

Jan and I sent B.o.B. off to packet pick-up and we entered the bike transition area. The port-o-let was about 5 rows away from my bike rack and the line was already long. I had planned on setting my gear up and then finding B.o.B. to give her a hand. But first things first. I was now in line. By the time that was taken care of and my gear set-up, it was time to leave the transition area. I look all over and don't see B.o.B. I guess she got set up okay so I jog down to the beach. I usually like to get a short swim in before the race starts.

I meet up with some of the other BRA group on the way and am asked if I have seen Beth. I say no and also add that I have not seen her since she walked to get her packet. I was then told that she was just a cussing me. "I can't believe Walt left me like that. I did not know what to do once I got my stuff. Where is he. I am going to..." Oh boy. Suppose I shall find her now....well maybe.

To be continued....I promise.

My First Off-road Triathlon Race....

2010-07-25T17:43:00.000-07:00

Some lessons in life are best learned the hot way. More on that later....

Over the years I have completed over 100 triathlons but have never competed in an off-road trail bike/run triathlon. These races are still the swim/bike/run format but use mountain bike trails for both the bike and run portions. The most familiar branded ones are put on by Xterra. There are three in Florida; Jacksonville, Miami and outside of Ft Myers. A buddy and I decided to sign-up for the XterraFirstCoast which was in Jacksonville. A half mile swim in the Atlantic, a 13 mile trail ride and 5k ish trail run. Sounds like a blast.

I am a fairly strong swimmer so the half mile swim would be no big deal. It's just the East Coast of Florida where they have numerous shark attacks. I have a mountain bike but am not a "mountain biker" so to speak. I have been riding the bike lately, only on the road, while escorting a friend who is training for her first triathlon (wonder who that is). I was of the mindset of how hard could it be to mountain bike in Florida. And I have also done a few trail runs. Well running not on pavement is the same as a trail run, right.

My buddy and I decided to drive my Civic to Jacksonville the day before the race. I warned him that the air was not as cold lately but he seemed to not mind. I was kind of used to it and really didn't drive the car much so getting the air fixed was no priority. We left early in the morning so the lack of ice cold air was not an issue.

We drove to the race site where our packets were available for pick-up. We also, well actually my buddy, decided we should ride the course at least once to get an idea of how it was going to be. The bike course was a 4.5 mile ish loop which we were to do three times on race day. I decided to use my clip in pedals for the practice ride. I use them all the time on my road and tri bikes and have recently been using them on my mountain bike. But remember, I have only been riding my mountain bike on the road.

The beginning of the loop was fairly easy. A single track with tight turns but nothing outrageous. The further in to the trails the harder it got. Some uphills, roots, sugar sand, roots, stumps, sugar sand, downhills, sugar sand, roots, sugar sand, sugar sand, oh wait my shoes are locked on my pedals. And down goes Frazier. I did not see that tree off to the side there. My leg introduced itself to Mr Pine. Okay. Remember your shoes are locked in. Just kick your heel out of the pedal. Just an idea.

I was doing fine until I slowed on an uphill and decided to remind myself that my shoes were locked on to my pedal. The front of my bike was actually stuck on a tree. My front wheel was off the ground and I was on my ass with a root of some sort getting to know me better.

Nice scrape on my leg and also just happened to be the side where my camera was in my pocket. Those Canons are sturdy and solid. My first lesson was that I would not be using my cycling shoes nor these pedals for the race. Once I finished the lap, I was glad to see my buddy had also crashed. His crash drew blood from his knee. I reminded him that sharks like the smell of blood.

We went to the restaurant where the pre-race dinner/party was being held. This was at the Caribbee Key in Neptune Beach. I suggest you go there if you are ever in the area. I had an excellent grilled medium rare Ahi tuna over pasta dish. I also won an Xterra mug during the giveaways.

One of the race sponsors was Red Stripe beer. There were these two ladies giving out free samples at the restaurant. Free samples of Red Stripe that is. I asked for a sample just to be nice. I thought I would get some poured in to a small glass. Nope. I was given a full bottle. I like these free samples. I knew I had a race in the morning but who could resist free beer from the Red Stripe girls. So I had another.

We left the restaurant and walked around a little trying to check out some of the local hang-outs. It was still early yet. I drank some water at a couple of places because we knew we could not get our "drink on" since we had the race the next morning. We decided to call it a night after I had a Magic Hat No. 9 at the bar above Caribbee Key.

Back to the hotel and in bed before 11. The race was about two miles from the hotel so we knew we could sleep in a little. We got all our gear together and decided what time to set the alarm clock. We told camp fire stories until we fell asleep with hopes of having a great race the following morning. Hogwash. I hope you realize we were in separate beds.

Up bright and early and headed over to the race site. The bike transition area was first come first serve racking. Most triathlons have numbered racks which correspond to your race number. We did not show up early enough to get a good spot. All of the spots on the pavement were taken so we ended up in the dirt. That's why it is important to bring a towel with you as part of your gear.

There was a team meeting held about ten minutes prior to the race start. The participants and the spectators gathered around the race director for some last minute instructions. The director announced twice that the water conditions were excellent for a great swim. Just swim past the breakers to the buoys and swim north along the beach and back in. I could just tell in his voice there was something else he wanted to add. There were some whispers about someone getting bit on the foot by a shark "in these same waters" the day before that required 400 stitches. No that was not announced. The race director instead asked if anyone was allergic to jellyfish stings. Now how would you know if you were or not. Is that like wondering if it would hurt if you put a knife in to a power outlet. Did he have a jellyfish in a jar and was going to make us touch it first to see what happens. He said jellyfish had been spotted on the swim course but not to worry if your allergic because they have a bottle of ammonia to pour on you if you need it. I figured it would pay off that I was in the second wave and by then the jellyfish would be tired having dealt with the first wave of swimmers. Meeting over so head to the beach.

Same as always. Swim outside the buoys and swim back in. Wait. There's waves here on the East Coast. Those are some pretty big waves. I could drown before the first buoy. Not good but hey if it were easy everyone would do it. So jellyfish, waves, murky water, sharks ( I know they are there. I saw the movie.) and wavy jellyfish. Take your time getting out to past the breakers and all will be fine. And it was. I had a great swim. No jellyfish. The only thing that bumped me was another swimmer. I hope.

In transition and on the bike I go. Needless to say having a fast swim did not help me at all. I was passed by many on the first lap. I will be the first to admit that looks are deceiving when it comes to trail riding. There were people passing me that would not have passed me on a road bike. I give them credit. Trail riding is harder than it seems. I have basic skills and they showed. I barely knew where to fall. The bad thing is that by the time I was on my third lap I thought I was going to get better. Nope. I just got tired. Making more mistakes on the trails as far as taking the wrong line. Hitting all the roots, holes, limbs and did I mention getting stuck in the sugar sand. I will say that me changing pedals did have its benefits. I did not crash as bad as I did the day before. Half way through the third lap I was exhausted. I remember stopping at the tip of a hill so some other riders could pass and me and another guy were going to draw straws just to see who continues on. I also noticed most of the skilled riders were wearing the camel backs for their hydration. I own two of them. Both were in my garage. A lot of good they did me this day. I tried to drink as often as I thought about it. I did not think about it enough.

Bike now done and time to run. I wore my running shoes while on the bike so I would have a faster transition. Again. What did that matter today. Off to the trails for a 5k. I started out running and then realized I was out of gas. Figured the best thing to do was walk a little and then run a little. I could do this. This trail run seems a lot different than the ones we do in Brandon. There are trees I have to climb over. Trees I have to go under. Where did this ditch come from. Is this a dried creek. No one said I had to climb during this race. So the walk run plan turned more in to a walk walk run walk trot walk plan. More of a damn nature walk. I was definitely empty. I sucked down a GU with no help. There were two water stops on the course but all I could feel was the water sloshing in my gut. Did I mention it also felt like it was 110 degrees. I know, suck it up there Walt but if I did what would the story be like. My finishing goal went from 2:45 to 3:00. I crossed the finish line at 3:00:19. Not proud of that time but I did finish. Yippee. Oh well.

I will say I felt like crap. My buddy saw me at the finish and said I looked bad. I was white as a ghost. I got some water, Gatorade, ice and a cold rag to put on my head. I sat down for a while to try and recover but I was just not bouncing back quick enough.

About an hour later I walked my bike back to my car. I was still not feeling good and decided to sit down on the pavement. No shade around. I then decided I should lay down. I put my backpack under my feet and figured someone would see me at some point and think I was just sleeping. My buddy showed up and again said I did not look good. Gee thanks. Will you tell the rescue guys that are on the mountain bikes the same thing you been telling me. I soon told that I need to get some fluids in me quick and the only way to do that would be with an IV. You know I just love needles.

I tried to just let it pass but both the rescue guys said that ain't happening. I said I did not want to go to the hospital so they called one of the fire rescue trucks. The air in that thing was like 60 degrees. It is amazing what some good oxygen and a bag of fluids will do to you. Within the hour I was back to about 90%. One of the rescue guys said you need to get in your car and turn the air on high, get some food and take it easy the next day or two.

I suppose I learned that Red Stripe does not always mean Beer. I should have drank more water the day before the race knowing how hot it was. I should have drank more during the race. I should have also gotten that damn Civic's a/c fixed before the race because it was a warm 4 hour ride home.

A Mother Always Knows

2010-05-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom, I know it has been a while since we have talked and even longer since I wrote you. I want to tell you how much I love and miss you dearly. You are still such a special woman in my life and hold a deep part of my heart. I should not have waited for this "Mother's Day" to reach out to you. Life sometimes gets so busy that we tend to overlook the people that mean so much to us. That is a lame excuse but it is the best I can do right now. On this day I would like to reflect back on our lives together as Mother and Son.

I love you,

John

As a friend of mine said in an earlier posting, always tell your family/friends you love them. You never know when they will be leaving you for the final time.

16 And Counting....

2010-04-27T18:15:00.000-07:00

This will not be a story about my oldest daughter. That would be titled 16 Going On Bout To Drive Her Father Insane. This is about my 16Th St Anthony's Triathlon in a row.

The St. Anthony's Triathlon is an Olympic distance (1.5k swim, 40k bike, 10k run) triathlon held annually the last Sunday of April in St Petersburg, Fl. The attendance varies each year from 1500 participants to now almost 4000. The race usually sells out within the first few hours once on-line registration is open. Athletes come from all around the world to compete. It is the first race the pros use for the beginning of their season. It has also been my first race of the season for some time now. The race is also held in my hometown of sorts so I must enter. Their have been some friendly rivalries developed over the years with friends and co-workers, whether we race in the same division or not. The course is the same for all of us.

Even though I know this race is coming like clock work, this year I did not train as hard as years past. I only did two open water one mile swims and swam in the pool maybe four times. My biking has also been lacking. A few rides here and there. My running has improved with the help of a few friends but it is still not where I would like it to be but there is no one else to blame but me. Well there is this one person but hey they know who they are.

Race morning comes early. Like 4 a.m. early. I only live an hour from the race but I would rather be early than late looking for parking. I drove over with the family in tow except for the oldest one who was resting up for her high school flag football playoffs which was to start the next day. I don't want to say I heard her say under her breath, "another swim, bike, run. What's the big deal. I have passes to block and flags to pull." No. She wouldn't say anything like that would she.

I was able to use my membership card and get a parking spot 200 yards from the race site. Left the family in the car to rest while I got my body marked and put my shoes in place. I had dropped my bike off the day before but still topped off the tires with air. Some of the larger triathlons require you to put your bike in the transition area the day before. This is to cut down on the log jam on race morning. I also think it is to promote area hotel bookings. Why else would there be two big triathlons at Disney.

I gathered the family and headed to the swim start which was about a mile away. The pros would start their race at 6:45. My race would start at 7:34. There were 32 waves for this race.

The wind was about 15-20 mph gusts from the south but the water looked flat. The only thing predictable about the water conditions each year at St Anthony's is that it is unpredictable. The swim will make or break your race. Last year's swim was cancelled for everyone but the pros and even the pros said later that it was the right decision. This year's swim course was actually shorted to 1000 yards for waves 26 to 32 because of stronger winds.

I zipped up my wet suit which is a great confidence booster. I headed in to the water to take a short little swim to feel the water temp and get loosened up. Okay I will be honest with you. It is also so I can empty the kidneys. C'mon now, I ain't the only one doing it. Wait a minute. I AIN'T THE ONLY ONE DOING IT. Nasty. I love the wetsuit on the long swims when the water is just a little chilly. The twins like it as well but they don't like the solitary confinement. Swim fast they say.

The horn blows and off we go. The water was flat but crowded. There were over 120 guys in my wave. I am not fast enough to start out front so it takes a while for the group to thin out a little. I always watch for the feet ahead of me. This is really the only part of the race where you have a greater chance of dying. Lungs full of water is just not natural.

I am at the first yellow turn buoy sooner than I thought I would be. This is going to be a great swim. Or so I thought. Now the wind is at my back. Yes that helps with a bit of a push but it was not body surfing. And there were times I could not see the buoys. The tide is going out and the wind is blowing at my back. Yippy. Did I mention the course buoys are orange and so are the swim caps of my wave. Just look for a yellow buoy I say now. Turn two out of the way and still feeling good about the swim. I love me some wetsuit.

Now the swim in. Water, wind and the pain in the ass swimmer are really going to test me this morning. Waves are coming over me as I am swimming in. Wind is still blowing North and the tide is going out. I have now passed numerous other swimmers who are floating (head out of water), hanging on the surfboards and kayaks. I breathe on my right side so this helps a little since the waves were coming over me from the left. I was also able to see this swimmer, with an orange cap, swimming right at me. I reach out to push him from coming in to me. No good. He swims right across my path so I push his foot so he does not kick me. Now he should be on my left side. Oh no, here he comes again. Same thing again. This time I yell at him to swim straight. I give him a little space and also try to swim a little faster to get ahead and out of his way. For some reason he had the same strategy. What a pain in the water he was. After two more dances with him I saw that we were coming up on a larger slower swimmer so I was able to get that guy in between us. Swim is done now. Out of the water in 30 minutes. Not my fastest but considering the conditions, I will take it.

Wet suit off. Helmet on. Shoes on. I grab my bike and run to the bike exit. As me and another guy get to the bike exit, I see this four wheeler coming down one of the bike isles also heading out the exit. There was a volunteer with her arms up telling us to stop. I am thinking, "hey lady we are trying to do a race here. This four wheeler can wait." The four wheeler headed out towards the run start. Me and the other guy started to go and then this runner wearing a red leotard about fell over my front tire. He yelled for us to watch out. I am thinking, "show off. Who does that guy think he is."

Out on the bike course now. I heard a running buddy yelling at me from the top of her lungs as she said she would. I knew the bike course was going to be a bit challenging because of the wind. My advantage was that I know the course. I have ridden it numerous times. But some of you may also know that I have a problem with pacing myself. I said to myself, "Self. You will try to keep your speed at 20-22 for the most part. Save your legs for the run." I finished with a 21.7 mph pace. I could have pushed it more but held back. Time to run.

Socks on. Race belt on. Shoes on and off I go. I was already 1 hour 45 minutes in to my race. I knew I would not beat 2:30 because my fastest 10k was 48 and some change. My goal now was under 2:45. I started out with a 7:45 pace. I felt comfortable and was happy with that pace. I later slowed to a 9:30 but that was for a short time. As I was coming down the finish chute, I saw my family cheering me on. Both the family that rode with me and my running family. All were cheering loudly which tends to give you that extra boost at the end. I probably could have used it at about the 5 mile mark but hey I am sure they would have been there had they known. I finished with an 8:32 mile pace for the 10k.

My overall finish time was 2:37. Not a PR for me but I will take it considering the weather conditions and the lack of training. I also later learned that I finished high enough in my age group (top 33% 88th of 374) to qualify for the Age Group Nationals in September. I was not aware that that was even a possibility but hey Kona here I come. What is that? Hawaii is not where the Nationals are. They are where? Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Where? Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Well then, Alabama here I come.

Oh and the guy in the red leotard. He was the winner of the race. 1:48. Told you he was a show off.

Me Pace You? Yeah Right.

2010-03-28T11:54:00.000-07:00

First of all to my readers and fans, it has been a while since I posted something. Wouldn't you know that "life" just gets in the way sometimes. I have so many stories and re-caps to tell. Have no fear they will all make their way to the blogosphere for you to enjoy.

Now the task at hand. Last Saturday, a week ago, our running group was sitting at Panera's having food and liquids when I hear Beth telling everyone that she is doing the Run For Sight 5k next Saturday. Yeah okay. Everyone kept talking about other things. "Hey! I said I am doing the Run For Sight 5k in Ybor City next Saturday". Okay. Others are running 22 miles and some are going out of town to avoid seeing fireworks. What's the big deal. "I just wanted you guys to know. I could use a pacer because I want a PR." Now when she says "pacer", she was looking at me.

Now I have never officially paced someone for a 5k race other than my two daughters. So I'm thinking, great now I am going to have to hear crying and whining. It's hot out here. When is it over. How far have we gone. Am I going to fast. Am I going to slow. Should I have pottied before we started. Should I eat a banana before the race or after. Do you think I should wear a jog bra....wait scratch that one. This is Beth wanting me to pace. I was actually honored that she would ask me to pace her. I very much agreed to run with her.

I asked Beth what her goal time was and she said 25ish. I told her that would not do. She should go for 24ish. Never settle. I say that and I am sometimes the one that settles. But hey, the pacer can always make the rules. Does not mean he has to follow them.

Our meet time was settled. 6:30 in the a.m. at the Target. Now I would hope the first thing I hear would be, "Good morning. Great to see you. I am so ready for this race." Nope. Since she already broke the boundary in her blog, this is what I heard. "I am having woman issues." Great for me. Yippy. The Run For Sight has now become the "This Crazy Bitch Is Out Of Control 5k." She assured me that it does not affect her personality at all. Once she signed the waiver, we got in Holly's car for the ride to the race.

I stayed in the car while Beth and Holly went to packet pick-up. I would like to say I just rested and stretched while sitting in the car but I was praying instead. I just happened to look over the waiver Beth signed for me and realized she did not use her real name. Oh hell this should be fun. Welcome ipod. Don't leave home without it.

We have now moved to the starting area to stretch and linger. A girl wearing a pink running shirt approached us, well actually Beth, I just happened to be standing there. She said, "aren't you the blogger." And Beth said yes and removed a Sharpie from her waist and reached out as if to sign an autograph or her running shirt or something. It just got kind of weird for a moment. Beth did her best to include Captain Nuts in the whole reading blogs thing but this girl just said the old, "oh yeah I do." Captain Nuts could tell. He knows she doesn't.

So the race was about to begin and I told Beth that I would let her run her pace at first. I would then pick it up when the time comes. I also told her we needed to be towards the front so we don't get caught having to get around people. This would cause us to have to pick the pace up before she was ready. The Star Spangled Banner. The horn. We are off. Sure enough I told her to start getting around people. Don't you just love those runners that either walk or feel that if they are at the front it will somehow make them faster. I know we are not all super fast, I surely am not, but at least put yourself in the right position before the race starts. I digress.

Beth is cooking it. She is running a 7:15 for about the first mile. I am starting to think that I have been Punked. I do not want to say it but I am damn sure hoping that she can not maintain this pace. Only because a pacer is supposed to be with the runner at the end of the race. I know those anonymous posters will say, "not for every race." Well I would hope a pacer for a 5k would start and finish with their runner. Anyways.

She starts to slow a little which was good because I did not want her to fade too soon. She was still running about 7:30 pace. I felt good with this pace. And she only groaned and moaned a few times. She sure kept looking at that watch. Just over the halfway point we caught two high school girls that were running pretty good. The chess match began. Beth dropped them just over the 2 mile point. At just about the 2.5 mark is the first time I heard her complain. She said she was starting to fade. I told her to quit looking at her watch and just run. I would make sure she was going fast enough. Two turns left and we were at 22:50. A woman said that Beth was the 6th woman so far. That had to be great to hear. I thought it was.

Holly was just in front of us. Actually very close. I remember telling Beth before the race started that she could run with Holly. No I can't. She is fast. Knock off the doubting of yourself.

The last turn and the clock had just turned 23:00. Get in there girl, I yelled. She picked it up and finished at 23:21. No puking. She had an excellent run. She filled out her time card and put it in the box. I looked and saw that hers was the only card in the box and there no other cards on the finisher board. I knew that she had won her age group but did not say anything to her confirming it. She did so well that Holly was looking for us at the finish line and did not know we were done. Holly also won her age group with a time of 23:11. Both she and Beth had PR's.

A personal note to Beth. I know you had a few rough days this week but "YOU" kicked ass. Thank you very much for asking me to pace you. I enjoyed it. At some point you will have to pace me. Now for that, "when should I eat a banana" comment. She ate one after the race.

Gasparilla Marathon 2010 Recap (only one)

2010-03-06T01:58:00.000-08:00

This will be strange. Me recapping a race in just one blog. I am already nervous and a bit scared. Also a word of warning. This is a marathon recap so there may be some adult language. Here goes.

As I mentioned earlier somewhere, either in a blog, an e-mail, phone call or just in my sleep, I have really slacked off on my Gasparilla marathon training this time around. Don't get me wrong, I do like to run. It's the damn distance that is a pain in the ass. Sometimes literally. The back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and well, you get my point. I was trying to follow some sort of training plan. I am not sure whose plan it was but it wasn't any that my fellow BRA runners were doing. Case in point. On a Saturday long run I would ask, "what are you guys running today?" "We are doing 18." "Oh hell no. I think I will go 8." Or when they did 22.5 miles I must have ran 15. I just figured what the hell it's only 22.6 miles. I have done that before. At least twice.

I was trying to do the right things leading up to the race. I ate a big pasta meal on Friday. No drinky drinky on Saturday and a small dinner before 6 pm. Went to bed early and almost got 7 hours sleep. Got up feeling fresh and ready to go.

My plan was to stick to a 9 minute pace for the entire race which would get me under my 4 hour goal. There were several of us wanting to break the 4 hour barrier. One of which was Redhead. I shall congratulate her now and again later. I should just run with the dude holding the 4:00 sign up and I will be fine. Yeah right.

This would be my first race that I ran with a pace group. Often times I just run my own pace and try not to feel the commitment of having to keep a certain pace. If I feel good, then I run good. If I feel bad, then I slow down. Basic math and science.

I started out with the pace group. This was much slower than 9 minutes pace because we were in the pack. Once the runners started to spread out, then I am sure the pace was going to pick up. Oh it did. Early on, we were running 8:15's to 8:30's. Now I understood that we needed to make up some time but damn this was a 26.2 mile race and we did not need to make up all the ground in a mile and a half. Well anyways I was still feeling good so I was just running with the flow. I eventually settled in myself after mile 6 with an 8:30 pace. Here we go again. I am not on the plan and running too fast early. But I feel good sir. I know you do but you just wait. No not me, I feel good. Good luck with that.

At mile 8 I see Tom standing on the side of the road. He was there to help pace one of us to a Boston Marathon spot. 4 hours 5 minutes. Again I figured if I stay with these guys I will break my four hours. Tom asked where is Holly. I say right behind me as in like right behind me. Turns out she and Redhead were not right behind me. They were running the 9 pace like good girls and were further back where they should be. But hey I was feeling good. Right.

Say hello to my little friend. Mile 16. Glad to see you Walt. Time for you and I to spend some time together. I have somewhere to be 16. Why don't you just slow down a bit so we can talk. Look here 16, I need to go meet 17 and so on. Pretty please. Okay, I'll slow down a little just for you. Fair enough. Now go tell 17 to call me sometime.

Brothers 17, 18 and 19 were all the same. It was their bitchy sister 20 that really slapped me in the mouth. I never said anything bad about her. Well not to her face. This was also the same time that my 4 hour pacing friends go strolling by me just following their plan. And so was the guy with the "4 hour goal" sign. I did not like him now. I tried to pick my pace up but just could not get 20 to stop her nagging. She was having this painful conversation with my quads. That bitch.

I was now at 21. What a great number. Only to be 21 again. I am sure that Greek guy had no idea the significance of the number 21. Blackjack. Legal drinking. 21 Jump Street. I digress. My pace had dropped to high 9's now. I was looking at my watch and realizing that my goal of 4 hours was not going to happen unless I picked the pace up to low 8's. Shiiiiips in the harbour. That ain't happening. I shall just cruise in at this pace. I would still be below 4:15 and PR.

Hey, there is the 25 mile sign. Hey, there is the 25 mile sign. Hey, there is the 25 mile sign. Hey, there is the 25 mile sign. Hey, there is the 25 mile sign. Hey, there is the 25 mile sign. Hey, there is the 25 mile sign. Can you guess my pace right now. I thought 20 was a bad girl. Meet her mother. The mother of all miles. The defining moment. "Your almost there." Is it just me or do you want to punch the person that says that right in the mouth. So I am not alone in that thinking. Coach EK starts to run along side me to pace me to the finish. I am glad he is there but I am so not wanting to pick my pace up.

Just as we pass the 25 mile sign, I hear this voice behind us. I turn back and see that it is B.o.b. I am wondering what part of the course did she cut. She could have at least told me ahead of time and I may have cut the same part. But I realize that woman did not cut the course. She was on fire. As I have mentioned in previous posts, she is becoming a great runner. She does not give herself enough credit. She came by me like I was standing still. Well quit honestly, I almost was. I told Coach EK to take her in. She deserved the pacing. And gone she was.

I did finish in 4:10. This was a PR by 9 minutes or so but still a PR none the less. I did feel a lot better this time around. I could at least talk and recognize my family. Will I do a fourth marathon. Sure, someday. How about the Rock n Roll Denver in October. See ya there.

For Red.....

2010-02-25T16:34:00.001-08:00

Hello there fellow readers. I was told by a certain friend, Redhead Jen, that my blogs did not have enough pictures. Well now here are some. Each photo has a story behind it. All I ask is that you pick one in the comments section. I will give the background of each picture that is commented on in a future blog. You may or may not win something. Probably not but this could be fun and definitely different.

It's Raining Cell Phones

2010-02-21T14:11:00.000-08:00

I made a deal with my daughters to tell the blog world a story that happened last year while on vacation. The deal was agreed upon since I have told a story about them and will post many a more in the coming weeks, months and years. That is as long as my memory holds up. And if it doesn't. You know me. I will just make it up.

Last June, the family and I flew to Washington D.C. with the in-laws for about a week. My father-in-law wanted to see the WWII Memorial and the trip was a birthday present given to him by his three daughters about four years ago.

Prior to us arriving in D.C., I had checked the Washington Nationals and Baltimore Orioles' schedules to see if there was going to be a home game I could take my daughters to. I am one of those fathers that feels spending time with your kids goes a long way. Who knows, they may not be so reluctant to change my diaper some day.

A ball game is a good way for them to have stories to tell later in life. Another way to bond. It is not something my father and I did when I was younger but what the hell. I have no plans to be like my father. But that is another saga in and of itself.

I was born and raised in Atlanta. I am still a Braves fan. I was a fan well before the 90's. Just my luck. The Braves were going to be playing the Orioles for a three game weekend series while we were in D.C. My plan was to rent a car and take the girls to the Saturday night game. I lived in D.C. for three years and had never been to an Orioles game. This should be fun. I like baseball and they like the cotton candy, peanuts, hot dogs, dippin' dots and cold beer.

Come Saturday, we had already been in D.C. for four days. We had walked all over the place. Went to many a museums. Accidentally met Congressman Putnam from Florida. That's another story. Had a private tour of the Capital. There was one thing that kept happening on a daily basis while we were out and about. My cell phone would fall off of my shorts pocket. I would wear the plaid shorts with no belt to hook the clip to so I had to clip the phone to my pocket. Well the slightest bump would cause the phone to fall off and on to the ground or where ever gravity decided to take the thing. This would usually happen as I was going up or down stairs or escalators. Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Both my girls would tell me, "Daddy you need to put your phone in your pocket before you lose or break it." Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I am your daddy. I know what I am doing. They both just laughed as if they were some kind of clairvoyants.

Back to the game. We took the Metro to Reagan Airport to get the rental car. All was well. I tried to get us to the stadium based on memory. When I say memory, it was from looking at Mapquest on the computer two weeks ago. No GPS system in the car. But hey I am Daddy. I know where I am doing. I factored in an additional hours time just as a "getting lost" cushion. I drove north on the interstate and then took the wrong exit. Well I knew it was the wrong exit only after I got on it. I played it off as showing the girls where I used to live. "Daddy. You used to live in an embassy." Why yes I did. Well back on the right highway.

Getting to the stadium turned out to be very easy. Baltimore/Washington Parkway north til it ended at the stadium. Membership Privileges got me an upfront parking spot. Bought cheap tix at the gate. Front row of the upperdeck along the third base line. Cheap tickets mean more money available for the little ones to buy food to occupy their time while I watch the game. Yippy.

Not a bad view from the picture I provided.During the game, there was a young couple to our left that had put their camera on the wall just below the railing. Now what do you think happened. The camera demon somehow caused the camera to fall over the edge. Me and the girls look over and see this rather bad-ass looking bald guy rubbing his head as if he had just been hit by a falling object. This object just happened to be the couple's camera. The girl is leaning over and yelling sorry and offering to buy the guy a beer or name her first born after him. The security lady is recovering her camera and calming the guy down. I tell the girls, while laughing, that that is the reason you don't put stuff on the wall. I see the security lady give back the camera to the girl and give her a stern talking to. Can you see where this story is going since it was my girls that wanted me to tell it.

The eighth inning has arrived and the Braves are getting clobbered. Time to leave and beat the....weather. We start to walk up the stairs and what happens. My cell phone, that is not in my pocket, bumps the hand rail and falls off my shorts. It was just like the movies when it all happens in slow motion. My phone starts bouncing down the stairs. Now my daughters are right behind me kind of providing a human shield for my phone. You would think my phone was Moses and my girls were the Red Sea because they just moved right out of the way and watched gravity play havoc with my phone. Bounce. Bounce. Phone separates from holder. Bounce. Phone and battery separate. Bounce. Battery goes over the wall and down below. Oh crap. I could have sworn the ball players were actually watching my phone fall as well. A big ooooh from the crowd.

I run down to the wall and look over to see where my phone landed. There is this bald guy rubbing his head and looking up at me. The same bald guy that already caught a camera with his head.We catch each others eyes and he is not too happy. Great. Whose laughing now. I yell down using the same lines that the girl used earlier. The same security lady was holding my battery and looking up at me. I yell down at the guy that it was an accident. Someone else in the crowd says, "Yeah. It wasn't like you threw your phone down there. Well you didn't did you."

I grab the girls and tell them that I need to go get the battery for my phone. They are both just laughing and saying told you daddy to put your phone in your pocket. I had a crisis on my hand at the moment and was in no laughing mood. I thought I may have to fight some dude for my battery or worst yet....Morgan and Morgan. They were both also saying they needed to go to the bathroom real bad. Now all that laughing will make you pee in your pants. I told them to hold it because I needed to get the battery. While I was going down a level, the security lady was coming up a level. We eventually crossed paths. She gave me my battery. I told her the story which she started to believe until she caught site of both my girls laughing. Now who is getting the stern talking to. Great again.

The girls could not understand the seriousness of the situation. They enjoyed seeing their father, as they called it, panicking. I told them I was not panicking. I was trying to avoid a bad situation. Now if I were at the game with the fellas that would be different. I would have already had 3-6 beers in me and probably would not have known the phone went over the ledge. Needless to say we made it out of there unharmed. The girls were able to go to the bathroom and my phone worked.

I have since got a new phone with a better clip but we have not been to another ball game. And when we do, I will put my phone in my pocket just for them. I enjoy hearing the girls tell this story. Each time it gets better and better. Funnier and funnier. The phone falls from higher and higher. I don't mind being the brunt of their funny stories. At least I am part of a good story they can tell.

Is That A Chainsaw I Just Heard

2010-02-10T16:25:00.000-08:00

Time for our second legs of running. C-Steve is off and running. He requested no bike or water support. He was on his own. And we for the most part, let him be on his own.

Before we broke camp and left the exchange area, I had to check on my fallen runner. I paid a visit to the luxury van and saw Stacey laying across the seat. She was bandaged on her palms, elbows, knees and toes. She looked miserable but was still managing to smile. She was not sure if she would be able to run her third leg but it was still too early to tell. I told her the Captain would figure it out when it came time. It wasn't like she was just giving up cause she was tired. The damn woman was attacked in the fog by a Bridge Troll. Remind me. I have to show C-Steve a map of where Stacey went down and see if he has any family living near that bridge.

We loaded up the van and headed towards the next exchange to wait on C-Steve. We passed him along the way and gave him some shouts of encouragement. "Your doing great Steve. Your on pace. Hurry your ass up. She's catching you. You big sissy." Now I mention "she" because during C-Steve's first leg, he happened to almost catch someone and then razzed the person and their team when he finished. Well on his second leg, he caught up to a woman and then pulled ahead of her. Well as he was closing in on the final 50 yards or so, she catches him and passes him in the exchange box. To this day he denies this ever happened but we do have the proof below.

As you can clearly see C-Steve is to the right and the woman is to the left. Plus in the other photo he is showing the hand sign of second place.

Jason was off on his second leg and also requested no bike support nor water. His run was mostly going to be on a paved trail. He again only wore his shoes, shorts, headlamp and safety vest. He passed seven other teams during his run. I drove us to the next exchange but did not hear a sound from Redhead or P-Funk-U. I was not even sure they were in the van. I could just imagine them being back at the camp area in the port-o-lets. Brake check. I hear them now.

B.o.b. was our next runner and now it was time for me to get on the bike. It was as much my demand as it was her request for me to bike. It was pretty damn dark and she would be alone on some trails and I was not letting anything happen to any of my girls on my watch. Or at least the girls in my van. Sorry Stacey. Had I been your bike escort, you would not have fallen. I'm just sayin'.

Jason trotted in and handed off to B.o.b. She was off and so was I. All her run was on paved trail. We could not see a thing other than red blinking lights ahead of us. I am sure it is beautiful scenery during the day but couldn't tell you. Wait, did I just type beautiful scenery. The "twins" are playing tricks on me.

There were some parts on B.o.b.'s run that felt like we were out in the middle of the woods. I could see some lit up farm houses right off the trail. I was thinking, this would be a perfect time to start-up a chain saw if I lived in one of those houses. I even teased B.o.b. a little about this very subject. I told her that she would have to be the bait until I got the creature killer ready because if I got taken down first then she was on her own. And balling up in to the fetal position only works on bears. Just sayin'.

There was one thing I kept noticing during B.o.b.'s run. There were never any issues when I gave her water. I was hoping she was kind of paying attention to how the whole water from bike to runner to bike process works.

B.o.b. kept a nice steady pace going. She passed four other runners. She also "chicked" one guy. Those that are unfamiliar with the term "chicked", it means a guy was passed by a woman. That "chick" being B.o.b. Now towards the end of her leg, she started slowing down. I kept telling her that there was someone behind us catching up. This caused her to pick up her pace and finish strong. When she got to the exchange, she looked back and saw no one. To this day she thinks I was making it up so she would not slow down. B.o.b., there really was someone behind you. You ran a great leg. If you zoom in on the pic, you can see in her face how much she put in to her leg.

Now B.o.b. passed off to our next runner. Her name escapes me right now.

Next: "No. No. No man. I ain't gay."

Running with "The Twins"

2010-02-07T06:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning, as part of my half assed marathon plan, it was time for me to run an 18 miler. I was not alone. I decided, as always, to take the "twins" along. More on those guys later.

The weather was great. High 50's, clear and a little wind during the first 14 but a terrible head wind for the last 4. The course is out and back for 9 miles and I needed to run 18. So if my math is correct, I would need to run out and back....bare with me a second. Okay now, carry the 3. Add the 4 because of the stop light. Alright now factor in that pie thing. Subtract 7. Presto. Out and back twice for 18 miles. Yippee. As a side note. Have you had any peecans lately?

I run with members of the Brandon Running Association. We have a great group of runners and walkers and yappers and just those that go to the party's to socialize and feel loved. We have a weekly running schedule that includes a hill day, a speed work day and a long run. There are group runs everyday but Friday. There is also this run on Sundays called a "recovery run". Now I just don't understand how part of a recovery would include something that got you feeling beat to hell to begin with. Would a recovering alcoholic drink just a little bourbon to take the edge off. If that's the case then when is the next meeting. Hi. My name is Walt.

Our long runs are on Saturday mornings. With such a big group of runners you are also going to have numerous paces. Our schedule maker, Club President Elton, does a great job of setting the start times so that each pace group should finish together just in time to make a breakfast trip to Panera's. Now the start times and distances are not set in stone. As a free runner, you can decide how far you want to run and when to do it. I sometimes fall in to this category. I am sort of in between paces for the most part. So it's just me, the "twins" and my mp3 player out there on the long ones.

I started late of course. Go figure. B.o.b., Holly and Slappy Dee were already out on the course. They had a two mile lead on me. All three of them are improving greatly in their marathon training. Don't let B.o.b. ever fool you on her blogs about her running woes. She is kicking it and should make her goal of a 4:15 marathon. I felt pretty good during the first, I don't know, nine miles. This was the first out and back and is also when I saw my car. I could have gotten inside of it and just driven away. But no, I could not do that to my fan base. What would they think. Plus I was gaining ground on the trio. Holly would be the tough one to catch. So I thought. I underestimated the other two. I managed to close the gap on B and SD to within a quarter mile with two miles left. This is when I imagine their conversation was as follows.

B.o.b. "Look at him behind us trying to catch up."

Slappy Dee "Yeah. All about to cry."

B.o.b. "Let's show him what training can do for ya."

Slappy Dee "With a little booty mix."

B.o.b. "Booty mix?"

Slappy Dee "I don't know. It just sounds good."

They were off and I was smoked. And again B.o.b., thanks for that chocolate milk. It tasted great.

Now to the "twins." I have these "twins" that just hang around with me all the time. And I have no plans of parting with them any time soon. They just need to quit playing hide and seek on my long runs. Their game is not without pain. I mean they find the furthest places away from home to hide. Thank goodness for elastic waist bands.

I am trying to figure out if it has something to do with clothing, temperature, positioning or all three. There isn't much I can do about the positioning. They pretty much have lived in the same place all their lives. Maybe some stretching exercises before I run could help. Couldn't hurt. Well not much. These would have to be some exercises I can do alone and not with the group. I have tried to let the "twins" lead during the run but they usually get tired and look for somewhere else to go. Hence the hide and seek.

As far as clothing goes. I have tried running shorts. Regular shorts. Biking shorts. Nothing seems to work all the time.

I will give the "twins" some credit. They don't play bad all the time. It seems more so during the long runs when there is a chill in the air. I have figured it must have something to do with the temperature. So I am designing running shorts that have a crotch pocket where you can put one of those camping hand warmers inside. That should do the trick. It would give the true meaning of sweaty.... Well you get the point.

Now I am off to the drawing board.

My Tent Is No Motel 6

2010-01-24T08:01:00.000-08:00

We have now handed off our running responsibilities to Van 1. We shall not see them again for 6-8 hours. It is time to get food and hopefully some sleep. Keep in mind it is not even 10 pm.

We load up the van and it seems that everyone is still hopped up with energy (I think) from our first legs. The sounds of Redhead bragging about her pace during her 3 mile run. Beth complaining about how she "ain't never gonna have no kids now." Millionaire texting his every move to someone and downing hand fulls of vitamins. C-Steve was going on and on about....well I am not sure what he was going on and on about but he was. And then there was our other female runner. Now because she and I are in a contract dispute right now, I can not mention her name for fear of royalty violations. Oh screw it. P-Funk-U was just so happy to be done with her 8 miler and wanted so much for someone to listen to her. And me. I was just taking it all in and being a good listener like a Captain should be.

I was going down my mental check list and asking all the important questions of my runners. Is anyone hurt? Does anyone need to call home? Is there anyway you guys can run a little faster on your next leg. Who has money for gas? Who just passed gas? Millionaire, where are your clothes? When did we get a dog? B.o.b. are you crying? Redhead does the sun ever shine in Orlando? What does a flat tire sound like? P-Funk-U is that a box of Thin Mints your eating?

We are headed towards exchange 24 which is the next Van change area. The Van change areas are designed to be larger than the regular exchanges and also have food and drink. Ragnar was providing a spaghetti dinner at the exchange for a nominal fee. Spaghetti and sauce heated by a bunson burner for who knows how long. "Just stir the sauce around. You won't notice things that don't look familiar to ya." Guess where I was going to drive the van before stopping at the exchange. McDonalds. I knew there was one close by because of last years race.

McDonalds served two purposes. Everyone could use the bathrooms to freshen up a little and then get a bite to eat if desired. Now this particular McDonalds was in a one stop-light town. But it was the only option other than gas station food. Imagine what the employees were thinking seeing us come in. All sweated up and draggin ass. We were not sure if other Ragnar runners had been here but they weren't here now.

The girls took the opportunity to change clothes and take hot showers in the McDonalds' bathroom sink. The bathroom had one of the electric hand dryers. I later heard the play by play of how the girls were using the dryer to dry off and warm up. It was not told to me by one of the girls. The cook was actually telling the other employees when I was ordering my food. Something about a security camera in the bathroom due to recent vandalism incidents.

I decided since I would be bedding down soon in the tent, I was going to wear what any camper should wear when it is chilly out. Long Johns. At least the pants part. I wore a long sleeve shirt as well. Now when we first got to McDonalds we were the only ones there so I figured it would be okay to wear the long Johns inside. I don't want to say a church bus pulled in but it did get crowded all the sudden. Turns out you could see my butt through my pants. I did not realize this until I caught a lady giving me the once over smile. She offered to pay for my food. In that case I will have a number 11 and a Double Cheeseburger, thank you very much granny.

We left McDonalds slightly cleaner and fresher and headed for our hotel room. Yeah right. We were going to be pitching a tent to sleep in. I brought an eight person tent for us to use so we would not have to sleep in the van. I pulled in to the parking area and drove to the back where there was only one other van. We were pretty secluded, as best you could be given the circumstances, and far enough away from the activity and lights. It was very dark and starting to get chilly. Nice. Great tent weather.

The tent only took 10 minutes to set up. I felt like a father taking his kids out on their first camping trip. I found out that C-Steve had never pitched a tent before. He was so excited. He kept telling me that he had never pitched a tent before. I told him not to brag about it in certain circles but it was okay to tell me. He was among friends. I also brought two sleeping bags. There again comes the lack of communication on the e-mails. I had asked if anyone needed one and the only person to request one was B.o.b.

After everyone went on their potty breaks, we got in to the tent. Well not all of us. P-Funk-U decided she was going to sleep in the van. I thought it was because she smelled the most but I later found out the true reason. Something about a tent collapse at a circus she was performing at years ago still haunts her to this day.

So there was five of us in the tent. Two of us had sleeping bags and the others had blankets. In other words, two of us were warm and the others struggled. I am all nice and settled in for a long Winter's nap when I hear this chattering sound right next to me. I open my eyes and realize that it is Redhead's teeth just a clicking. I asked her what is wrong. She tells me that she is freezing. Quite the dilemma. What should the Captain do? Not enough room for two in my sleeping bag. And the Captain needs to have his warmth in case some tough decisions need to be made. Here is one of those decisions. I say, "mind over matter." I suggest she get in the van. She says she will be okay. I fall back to sleep. I then hear this zipper sound and realize that someone is unzipping the tent. It is Redhead saying she has to go to the bathroom. A short time later, I hear the zipper again. She has returned. Just as I am back to sleep. What do I hear. The teeth chattering. Then the zipper. Then the zipper. Then the teeth chattering. Then the zipper. My God woman, what the hell. "I already have a tiny bladder and being cold on top of that doesn't help." So one more zipper. At this point I am debating on waking everyone else up and moving the tent.

Now during this episode, Millionaire decides he wants to get up and get in on the action. Unzip and then zip. Just as I am falling asleep, I hear this banging sound. I mean a loud banging sound. So loud that it woke everyone up, including B.o.b. who was practically in a coma. I look in the direction of where the noise is coming from and it is P-Funk-U banging on the back window of the van. It seems Millionaire had gotten something from the van and left the light on. I thought I heard P-Funk-U yelling, "this ain't no Motel 6 b%^*h! Turn the light off." She actually was starting to turn green. Redhead was balled up in the fetal position in the corner of the tent hiding under what blanket she had. I debated on getting my critter killer up until the moment Millionaire turned the lights off. Then there was silence. I told Millionaire for safety's sake and all of humanity, could you not make that mistake again.

I then hear my phone going off. It was Kalani letting us know that Milsaps was getting ready to start his run. That meant we had about 30-40 minutes before C-Steve would be running. Was it 3 a.m. already. Kalani also said they had a runner down. Stacey had fallen while running in the fog. She did not see a raised section of road and took a hard fall. Apparently a Blackberry does not work well as a fog light.She was a trooper and got back up and continued to run, and Tweet and update her Facebook status. She was not sure if she would be able to do her third leg or not. I told Kalani to tell her not to worry about that. We would take care of it.

Well time to wake all my kids up and close up camp. C-Steve got ready and we were off on our second legs.

Next: Was That A Chainsaw I Heard?

The Great Razor War Wages On

2010-01-22T17:21:00.000-08:00

A break from the Ragnar journey.

I must inform you of this war my wife and I have found ourselves battling with my oldest daughter for the past six years. I knew it was coming. It was predicted. The writing was on the wall. I read about it in parenting books. Well I really didn't read the parenting books. But my wife did and told me about it. I did read the articles about it in the Wall Street Journal, Men's Fitness and National Geographic. On a side note fellas. That National Geographic isn't what it used to be. I mean c'mon, now that your allowed to look, they really aren't all that thrilling to see. I digress. I even overheard guys talking about it at Home Depot. What was this great dilemma going on here. It was the amount of razors a teenage girl can go through in a weeks time and how much they cost.

I mean how many razors does a girl need in a weeks time to shave. Can't have much hair growing on her legs at such a young age. And the blond hair would at least give her another three days. Am I right about that. I will be honest, I do like their mother to have smooth legs. But there better be no boy alive that likes my daughter's smooth legs.

The oldest one was going through 3-4 razors a week. I only noticed when I would step on them in the shower. Now the razor I could avoid by seeing it before I stepped on it. But it was the damn clear plastic cover that I could not see and always hurt like hell when stepped on. So much for a nice relaxing shower. Time for that drink and a new tactic.

She was to be allowed one razor a week because that's what her mother used. And they were not cheap to begin with. Especially when you go from the standard one blade to the "Princess Smoothness" eight blade version. Those also double as a paint stripper. I know. You should see the chest I repainted.

We thought we were winning the war. Or at least some of the battles up until about three years ago. That is when the youngest one joined her sister's army on the Eastern Front. At first we had the youngest one on our side. But it turned out that she was merely a spy for her sister and provided valuable supply information. Kind of this sister blood thing going on. You know, "when mommy and daddy aren't home, who will hear you scream."

Their mother had this trust with the youngest one. That's how the spies do it. Build up that trust. Their mother would give out a razor on Sunday night and then hide the rest. Only she and the youngest one knew where they were. The youngest one knew in case one was needed and mommy was not home to give one out. Soon both daughters were taking from the secret stash. I hated having to pat my girls down for contraband every time they came out of our bedroom.

Now I was going to stay out of this whole thing until I was told we may have to take out a second mortgage to keep our girls all smoothed up. Oh boy don't want to be bad dad for this reason but game on girls. A new year was comin' and time to change up the battle plans.

The peace talks were held in the car on a family trip during Christmas. New rule. Four razors are given to each of you at the beginning of the month. You decide when and how you use them. If you need more than four then you are to purchase them. You can buy as many as you want. Heck you can even buy stock in Schick. Lord knows I did about three years ago. Now why didn't I come up with this rule long ago. How simple. Now I know when two parties come to the table they are supposed to each have concessions. Now the girls brought the use of only four razors a month. I wondered what we brought other than a firm rule about what they are now to do. Nope. We just agreed to buy them more razors when they run out of the four. Neither one of them have a job so where does their money come from. Oh well.

And this little story is only a little bit of what it is like being the dad in a house of girls. No trading for anything though. Except maybe some type of lifetime reusable razor. And you wonder why I don't shave.

Don't Stop Pedalling or The Punisher

2010-01-17T20:25:00.000-08:00

We must continue with our journey. I last left you with P-Funk-U finishing up her 8 mile hilly and I mean hilly jaunt. I rode ahead at her last half mile and told Redhead that she needed to get ready to go.

I offered to ride for her but she did not want one. Her first leg was only three miles and Ragnar listed it as Easy. She said she did not need us to give her water during the run. "It's only three miles." At the same time doing the little head nod. I don't want to point any fingers but someone in the crowd yelled, "show-off".

P-Funk-U handed off the slap bracelet to Redhead and she was on her way. She was cruising right along. Now this stretch of road was HWY 98 with little shoulder and large trucks. The size of trucks that piss you off coming at you but feel great passing and pulling you the other way. Another good reason for the headlamps and reflective vests. I drove us ahead to the next exchange area. It was finally going to be my turn to run.

My first run was listed at 8.8 miles and categorized as Very Hard. It must have been the distance because the elevation did not change much. I requested a biker only because of the need for water. B.o.b. decided she would ride the bike for me. Now why C-Steve or Jason did not offer is unknown. Honestly though, I would rather run behind her than either of those two.

Redhead was running so fast that I had little time to give B.o.b. any biking 101's. I had seen her ride a bike in the past and felt comfortable that she would be okay. Now this one did not have a rubber shark horn but it did have a seat and two wheels. I told her to make sure she kept my backpack on and if I asked for it, not to ask me why. Little did she know she would be carrying our creature killer.

Redhead is in and gives me the slap bracelet. As I am running by our van, I hear B.o.b. yelling at me, "hey I can't get the seat to lower." Whoops. I forgot about that part. Nothing I could do now since I was already running. How bad could it be. It is a gel seat. I think.

I'm running along settling in on my pace. I have my Garmin on but I did not want to check my pace. For the most part I like to run without a watch. The double cheeseburger was just now kickin' in. Time for water. I have my very own water girl along side me. This should be no trouble at all. Right. Well if it were that easy why tell you about it.

To my right I am hearing, "this seat is too high. It is hurting my %^$#*&^. I don't know how much more I can take." I reach down to turn up my Shuffle and must have pushed the wrong button because it stopped working. Oh great. Well I still needed water.

I figured I would just reach my hand out and B.o.b. would give me the water bottle. Good luck with that. She was having such a hard time because the seat was so high she did not want to reach down and grab the bottle. I told her that as long as she rode next to me, I would reach down and grab the bottle. I did not want to slow my pace but I also did not want to get ran over by a pit crew member. Okay here goes. I reach over and she slows down which means there is no bottle there for me to grab. B.o.b. don't stop pedalling. You have to keep the same pace as me. Okay, but I don't want to crash. Oh, boy. You are not going to crash if you keep pedaling. But it's hard with the seat so high. Now I reach over and her leg is blocking the bottle. I then tell her to stop pedalling but don't slow down. How do I keep up and not pedal? I just need you to keep your leg out of the way but you still have to be beside me. How about you pedal ahead and then I can run up to you and grab the bottle. Not that far ahead. Have you ever just lost your thirst.

With less than a mile left, I tell B.o.b. to ride ahead and let Van 1 know that I was coming in and they would be taking over. I hand off the slap bracelet to Kalani and Van 2 is now done for the next 6-8 hours. Time to eat and get some shut eye.

Next: Pitching a Tent or We'll Leave the Light On For Ya

Van 2's First Legs or Do You Wanna Beer?

2010-01-09T11:46:00.000-08:00

I have now kicked my first Van 2 runner out of the nest. C-Steve is on his first of three legs. He only has 6.5 miles with medium difficulty. I say medium because that is what Ragnar categorizes his first leg.

Ragnar uses difficulty ratings on each leg. These range from Easy to Very Hard. This is determined by using the length + elevation formula. They do not factor in the human part of the equation. What may be Easy for one may be Very Hard for another. Another one of my responsibilities as the Captain was assigning the legs to my runners. I had to not only look at the total miles but also the difficulty of the legs. Some made my decisions easier. C-Steve wanted the most total miles. I was wanting to be the last runner. I already had van assignments so that narrowed down the leg choices. I had two runners that wanted to only run one time but that did not work. I still pocketed their cash.

What was I thinking. I have a runner on the course. Back to C-Steve. On the Ragnar course there are no water stops like there are on your 5k's and such. The team has to get water to their runners unless they carry their own or have their biker do it for them. The biker. That is a seperate post all together. C-Steve told us to get water to him at about the three mile mark. Gave him a water bottle and he kept on going. He was trying to catch another runner just ahead. We drove to the next exchange so Millionaire could get ready. For some reason he needs a lot of time to get dressed.

C-Steve finished with band-aids still intact. He was excited and was talking a mile a minute.

C-Steve was so excited and ready to run again. He was talking a mile a minute as the saying goes. He was even talking smack to one of the teams that started with us. He almost caught there #7 runner. Game on he says. Atleast I think that is what he said. Remember, C-Steve is from the islands. He already talks fast. At this point he was talking so fast I started bidding on things I did not want to buy.

Ragnar rules state that any runner that starts after 4:30 pm has to wear a reflective vest, headlamp and rear red blinking light until 30 minutes past sunrise. Millionaire was not happy because he was going to have to wear the above for his first run of 6.8 miles. Now Ragnar puts that in the Hard categorie. Not for Millionaire. He breezed through that without any water from his team....per his request. He passed several other teams along the way.

B.o.b. was our #9 runner. Her first run was a Medium 5.1 miles. She was all worked up and nervous. Partly because her run was at night and along a busy, busy stretch of road. Also, I think because she was worried about her pace. Personally I don't think she gives herself enough credit on her running abilities. I have been with her on numerous training runs. She can run. I have been passed by her as well. You can run there B.o.b.b.y. Millionaire's in and now B.o.b. is off.

While B.o.b. was running, we would pull off to the side of the road and yell for encouragement. No water requested. She was running an awesome pace. Smiling all the while. Very busy road and on a Friday night. We stopped more often than we did for our first runners just to keep an eye on her. She also passed some other teams. B.o.b. is in and now time to get....uhmm, Funky?

Now P-Funk-U was tasked with our first Very Hard run. She was going to be running a hilly 8 miles. I would be riding with her on my bike. Again a Ragnar rule. You are allowed a biker during the night hours for safety. PFU is another one of those runners that is better than she thinks. She locks in to a pace and just goes. I have seen her times drop and drop during the year. She had just finished her first marathon a month earlier and gave me no complaints. Well she may have but I don't listen to her that much.

PFU's run started out in to a neighborhood where it was probably best seen at night but not travelled through at night. Not 200 yards in to her run she passes a house where there were 4-5 people standing in the front yard carrying on. A couple of the guys yelled out to her if she wanted a beer. She was polite and said no thank you. It was not like her. I mean not about her not taking the beer but she could have said yes and then given it to me. So I turned around and rode back to the house and yelled out if it was bottles or cans. Now a can would fit perfectly in my bottle cage. A lady yelled they were cans. One of the guys said the beer was not for me it was for the girl that was running. I said I was with her. They laughed and then said a few choice words for me. They were not nice. I said to myself what I say to my kids, "everybody has issues." PFU did have a very hard run. There were some long hills. She locked in on a pace and just kept going. She actually ran up on me a couple of times. I was very proud of her.

There was a guy ahead of us that was not in the race. He was just walking in our same direction while wearing earphones. When I got beside him he jumped so high that he almost fell over. The bad thing is that just when his heart probably started slowing down, PFU passes him. I look back and he just starts walking, real fast, in another direction. Remember that whole van pulling off to the side of the road and yelling encouraging slogans. I wonder if the new driver thought that was only allowed when I was driving. Just saying. We are on the last half mile and I have not seen our van yet. I tell PFU that I am going to ride ahead to the exchange and see if they are there. If not, then I suppose I will now be runner 11. Van 2 was there. How long they had been there is debatable but they were there.

To be continued.......

Painter's or Electrical?

2010-01-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

What should Van 2 do now for the next 6-7 hours. That was the question once Van 1 rode off in the distance from Fred Howard Park for their first legs. Should we go back home and take naps. Some of us were tire already. Should we go shopping. I mean Christmas was a month away. Should we follow Van 1 in case we were bored. Bored with this bunch. Should we go eat for a while. Shoney's or Ci Ci's. Should we go to a movie. New Moon was just released.

First things first. Let's get that van of ours decorated. That was left up to B.o.b., Red and P-Funk-U to get done. One thing I have learned about B.o.b. is that she loves to decorate stuff. Make posters. Write on sidewalks with chalk. Make pottery. She can work a kiln. Stay inside the lines when coloring. And can crochet a mean toaster blanket.

B.o.b. made three posters for our van. She brought silver garland and Christmas lights for the roof rack. She loaned the lights to Van 1. We later got some new lights and put those on and had them working for our night runs. The posters were taped on the hood and sides of the van. We were now ready to find something else to do. We only had six hours and ten minutes to fill.

Now the next paragraph is dedicated to the anonymous poster questioning my teasing methods. I actually spoke to this fellow running comrade of mine and we exchanged some good ideas about MY blog.

We were only about 4 miles from the starting line when the poster on the hood blew right off and over the van to never be seen again. Well I am sure some weekend work release person saw it but we never did. This is when we realized that we should have taped our posters using painter's tape and not electrical tape. Or never tape items on the hood. A little re-taping and we were off again.

Our first stop. Food. Some brought food and decided to dig in. Three wanted Subway. I wanted McDonalds. Now keep in mind we all have to run in a few hours but I had the longest down time. So I did not order a vanilla shake. I got the filet-o-fish meal and a McDouble. I ate it all. That was some good food. I only had to run an eight miler in eight hours.

We still had 4 or so hours to go. We stopped by the movie theater and checked what was playing and when. We could not all decide on a movie to see other than New Moon. Personally I did not want some cranked up chicks riding in the van all night after watching some half naked wolfmen on the big screen. Just sayin'....

So we ended up at Barnes and Noble. C-Steve and the Millionaire found a place to nap. I read magazines with the girls. It was like being in a live Cosmopolitan magazine. The things they talk about would make a grown man blush or wonder. P-Funk-U told me about this magazine called Smooth. I had to get one off the shelf that was not covered in plastic and brown paper. Wow. I can see where Sir Mix-A-Lot got his inspiration. Wow. Ladies never worry about something not fitting you. It will fit someone.

I got a call from Van 1 telling me that runner 6, Milsaps, was about two miles from the exchange point. Time for us to head that way.

Exchange 7 was in a parking lot where the team vans parked and waited on their runners. This was considered a big exchange since both vans would be on site. The runners actually changed on a sidewalk. Our first runner was C-Steve. He was ready to go. Band-aids and all.

Most of you guys that run out there realize that we are sissies when it comes to our nipples. Shirts, long miles and nipples do not go together without a band-aid or two. C-Steve is no different. Well maybe he is. He does not wear a shirt when he runs. He still wears the band-aids. As my mother would say, "to each his own." I would say, "that's weird."

Milsaps was in sight now. He was wearing a Where's Waldo outfit. Must have been hot in that long sleeved shirt and hat. Having fun is what I wanted from my team. He passes the slap bracelet off to C-Steve and now Van 2 is on our way.

Teaser alert: Van 2's First Legs.....

Two For Teen Now

2010-01-02T05:52:00.000-08:00

The day after Christmas I drove the wife and kids to Atlanta to visit family for a few days. This was requested by my daughters. Especially my youngest who would be turning 13 and was wanting to have chicken and waffles from Gladys & Rons in downtown Atlanta. More on that later.

I do enjoy getting out of the flats for the hills every once in a while. It's the drive that is a pain in the butt. And would you believe I still have passengers that ask, "are we there yet?" It's not like I still make them ride in the trunk. There is one thing I can guarantee when driving in Georgia it is that if your trade is lining up those orange barrels on the highway or driving in the left lane about 10 miles below the posted speed limit, then you will always be employed. If not for those two careers, the drive from our home to our destination would be about 6 hours and not 10. And the highway patrol gets all sneaky now. Hiding up in the woods with some kind of gun looking thing that they call a laser. To me it looks like they are pointing a gun at me so I definitely slow my butt down. Plus again when you know the tricks of the trade you tend to be a little more of a risk taker.

Our first scheduled stop was to be in Columbus, Ga to have lunch with my used to be step-father and his wife. It sounds complicated but remember I am from the South. My brother and his family were going to also meet us there.

While en route to Columbus, I kept seeing all these signs for pecans. I am a lover of pecans. That is pronounced pee-kins. I started saying it that way because I just felt like it and I enjoy controversy. Even when it comes to the pronunciation of the English language. Plus there were those that felt the need to correct me. But depending on where the corrector is from, they also say it different ways. And I noticed the more I said peekins, they would start saying peekins. I remember a story about a dog that would....well anyways I digress.

I stop at this roadside stand selling peekins, peanuts, jellies and the sort. They also had homemade peekin pies, chocolate chip peekin pies, cracked peekins, shelled peekins and peekin butter. Now the place was on the property of a peekin farm. Can you explain why the peekins were still so expensive. I mean all you had to do was put a bucket under the peekin tree and shake. I ended up buying a bag of cracked peekins and two small peekin pies. So which is it. PEEKIN or pecan.

We get to Columbus and caravan to a family owned restaurant named Cooks Place. They are supposed to be known for their hotdogs. This is where my step-father likes to eat. He grew up in Columbus and has been eating there for years. It was one of his high school hang outs. He later became a teacher at the same high school. Oh and the chili dogs were good.

After a few hours visit, we headed north to Canton which is just north of Atlanta. I put all the kids in my brothers car and took the wife and sister-in-law with me. They were actually noisier than the kids were because the kids just put their i-pods in and text everyone. These two actually talked. And boy, that sister-in-law of mine sure did dog out my brother.

That night the grown-ups went out for dinner. A place I like to visit while visiting is called Taco Mac. It's not the food. It is the 100 different drafts and over 300 bottled beers they have. I have never been a fan of the basic domestic beer like Bud and Miller and such. I like to try different beers when given the opportunity. My brother and I will look and the beer menu and lay this game of you pick, I pick. If you don't finish the beer that was picked for you, then you have to buy the next round. We go for the high alcohol content. I have a little more knowledge about beer types than he does. I picked this one beer, more like a beer/wine/lager, for him. Needless to say, the next few beers were on him. Not a late night cause it would be the youngest 13th b-day in the morning and it wouldn't be right for daddy to have a hang over and try to make breakfast.

The b-day girl got to plan the day. She wanted to go shopping and use all her gift cards from Christmas. The place we went was Atlantic Station in Atlanta north of Georgia Tech. I don't mind shopping. I like to people watch and occasionally will try on clothes. I have never been afraid of certain stores either. But I found myself just following my wife and daughters in to Victoria's Secret. I mean they do sell other things besides woo-woos, right. Like perfume and stuffed animals. But once my oldest one started looking at the undies that her mother should have been looking at, I had to walk away. Well I actually ran away from the store and waited across the street. Now what struck me as odd was that my daughters were the only ones that left the store carrying one bag each. And so it goes. Another reason I don't do laundry.

The new teen also wanted to go to Gladys and Ron's Chicken and Waffles. It is a soul food type of restaurant in downtown Atlanta. Gladys Knight is part owner and some of the dishes are from her recipes. We had been there once before and it was great. I discovered the restaurant by accident while watching Man vs. Food on the Travel Channel. The Chicken and Waffles are excellent but so is the baked chicken, smothered chicken and to top it all off. An order of sweet potato cheesecake was brought out for the b-day girl. And Gladys herself sang happy birthday. Well it was pre-recorded over the speakers. If you are ever in Atlanta I do suggest you stop by Gladys and Rons and gorge yourself. You will not regret it.

So I now have two teen daughters. Oh lordy. People comment that I don't have any gray hairs. Hell they don't want to stick around. Actually I have no complaints, officially. They are both great in school and stay out of trouble. And no questionable boys have been brought home. Yet.

They know their daddy loves them and would do anything for them. Except eat popcorn in their rooms. Wish me luck.

How I Became Santa's Helper

2009-12-30T17:40:00.000-08:00

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING

For those little readers, this story in no way claims there is no Santa. Sometimes Santa gets so busy that he gets a head start on gifts by leaving them in places well ahead of schedule.

That is how I became one of Santa's many helpers. And to you kids out there. CD's are much harder to open secretly.

The Starting Line or Matilda McBeastie

2009-12-29T14:14:00.000-08:00

Our team has finally arrived in the City of Tarpon Springs, Florida. We used our GPS as a guide. But it was also a plus when we saw runners being followed by decorated vans. Time to work on our cheery spirits by yelling and blowing the horn in support.

The starting line was in Fred Howard Park. From what I saw, this was a nice park. A great place for a picnic if your in to that kind of stuff. There were tall pines, scrub grass, palm trees, picnic shelters, little squirrels, marching ants, covered musical trashcans and the ever popular bathrooms. Wanna guess who visited the bathroom first.

The check-in was simple and quick. A bag of 12 t-shirts and another bag of goodies. Whatever happened to the bag of goodies. It really wasn't all that good. Believe me. Ragnar has teams starting every 30 minutes from 8am til 2pm. These start times are based on your projected finish. Obviously the faster teams start later in the day. You will be penalized if you sandbag your time just to get an early start. We would have started earlier than our 11am start had our vans been available prior to 8am.

There were other teams already on scene and others arriving. Some had their vans decorated, while others were in the process. There were large vans, small vans, jeeps, station wagons and SUV's. I even saw a VW. I made it a point to point the smaller vehicles out to my Van 2 members. See there. Good things come in all shapes and sizes.

We were joined by the likes of The Barking Spiders. The Killer B's. SS Insanity II. Ultra Disaster. The Faster We Run, The Faster We Drink. And the original, Run Hard. Not all of these teams were in our division but this would be our competition at least for the first few hours. Time to get some team pics and give one last pep talk before the gun goes off.

The entire team on your left.

Van 2 on your right.

10:55 am. As I said in the beginning. This race is for fun. Each of us shall do our best but don't feel pressured to go all crazied up in them shoes. All I expect and ask is that you give youself and your team your best til the end. 10:57 am. Time to get this thing started.

10:58 am. Kalani stood at that start line with the biggest smile. Finger on that start button of her watch. 10:59 am. Crouched in the runner's start position. I am thinking, "we got a long ways to go there lady. But I like your style." 11:00 am. The horn blows and she is off. We have now begun the race of our lives. Well it was the race of our lives at the current time. Van 1 was off to follow Kalani. I felt like a proud father kicking his kid out the door on his 18th birthday. It was a long struggle to get him there but I know he will do just great.

Can of Sardines or Did We Forget Anything?

2009-12-24T17:59:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.

This is a small continuation of the previous blog as it relates to the packing of Van 2. Apparently I did not provide enough information to the "blog world" about our preparations prior to our departure for Tarpon Springs. In other words, my Van 2 teammates were on my ars about some short comings.

While Van 1 is figuring out where to put the kitchen sink in their van, all six of Van 2's crew are standing at the rear of our van looking puzzled. How do we fit all of our stuff, keeping in mind we have three women so that is an automatic 9 bag addition, in our van without putting Steve's hobo sack on the roof. We have a tent, sleeping bags, gym bags, bags of shoes, bags of clothes, bags of food, bags of girlie things, a tire swing, pillows, blankets, towels, make-up kits, glow lamps, lava lamps, smelly sprays, phone chargers, rope, tape, fireworks, works of art, knapsacks, napkins, camera gear, hiking gear, gears of war, magazines, books, book ends, those things that go bump in the night, and we even had that damn needle in the haystack. Which by the way we never found.

Needless to say we packed, packed and repacked the van. We even packed some more because just as the door was being closed I would hear, "I need something from my bag which is on the bottom before we get going. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I have just got to show you what I brought for the trip. Did anyone see my leggings?" A note to my team for next year. Please pack two bags. One bag with stuff you won't need until we are finished and the other bag is a stuff you think you need but probably won't use but just got to have bag.

Now if you have ever owned or rented a mini-van, I am hear to tell you that they have come a long way. You would be surprised with the amount of crap you can fit in one of these things and still seat six comfortably. One bit of advice though. The new vans have hidden storage compartments. Some are rather large. It is good to discover these prior to packing and departure. Not when you are turning the van back in.

We are officially all loaded up and ready to go. But wait, being the father of two girls I must say something that I have said before any trip for atleast the last 14 years . It is something near and dear to my heart. "If anyone has to go to the bathroom you better go now. Because I ain't stopping til we get there." Boy did that van empty quick. Loaded again and now headed to Tarpon Springs. There is excitement in the air. For now that is a pleasant smell.

Next: Let the Journey Begin or Painter's vs. Electrical

It's Race Time or Daddy's Taking the Kids to the Pool

2009-12-20T18:16:00.000-08:00

Ragnar is finally upon us. It's early Friday morning. Time to pack. Time to eat. No need for a shower. Time to meditate. Get in a quick 5 miler. Still no shower. Time to eat again. What to wear. Since I am the Captain, I decided I should at least wear a dress shirt and tie. The Captain has to be presentable in case there are any press conferences, photo ops, TV appearances or a good ol' fashioned ass chewing is needed before we get started.

C-Steve drove me to Tampa Airport to get Van 2. Steve said we could use his GPS to get us to the front door of Budget rental cars. I should have realized when Steve said "his GPS" I should have known there was going to be issues. Those of you that know Steve realize he is a little behind in the age of technology. I mean he does have OPCP. That is Other People's Cell Phones. He refuses to get a cell phone. He gives me his GPS and I type the address in. First off, I know there are more than eight streets in Tampa. Secondly, since when did GPS's come with fold out maps. I can tell you that Budget is not at Raymond James Stadium, International Mall or IHOP on Kennedy. A few phone calls were made, using my phone of course, to get better directions. We finally got the van. A mini-van of course. Still following my plan. I know you ladies are saying, "See, told you. Guys always get lost." That is not true. We were not lost. We knew exactly where we were the whole time.

Today is the day when you find out who on your team has been reading their e-mails and or paying attention at team meetings. Specific instructions were given to everyone about where to meet, what time to be there and how to get there. So I am in Walgreens buying a gallon of Fabreeze to spray in the smoke smelling luxury cruiser, can't have my runners with breathing conditions before we leave Tampa, when my cell phone rings. Now I was running a few minutes behind so I expected a little bit of razzing on the Captain. I did not expect one of my runners asking me what time I was coming to get him. I reminded him that we were all meeting at Mike's house by 8 am. It was already after 8 and this runner was still home. Now who did not listen at the meeting or read his team e-mails. "I just skim through my e-mails. I don't read all of them," he says. I say, "did you read the one about I ain't coming to get you." Hopefully he will just skim through this blog. He was our fastest runner.

I show up to the meet location in the mini-van. I am being looked at by the Van 2 runners like I just stole all their Christmas presents from under the tree. Hey, are you driving your own van. Is that your mom's car. No really, are you hiding the big van. Captain says, "daddy ain't taking you to the pool if you don't shut-up. Just then Kalani and Stacey show up in their super huge 20 passenger van. Again all of my Van 2 runners look at me with the sad puppy look. It didn't help that Van 1 was all bragging and laughing and dancing and pointing and ....well you get the point.

Let's load up and head to Tarpon Springs.

Next: Go Get Em' Kalani or Not New Moon

Everything Will Be Alright or Quiet P-Funk-U

2009-12-15T17:55:00.000-08:00

We have a team of 12. We have a name, Half Nuts. Now time for me to set my starting line-up.

I probably should have explained this whole Ragnar thing many posts ago. A relay running race from Tarpon Springs, Fla to Daytona Beach, Fla. Just over 203 miles. Twelve runners would run three times each in succession. We would ride in two vehicles that could not be longer than 21 feet each. The "party bus" was off the table. No motor homes either. Ideally a 12-15 passenger van would be great. Our team was able to rent one of those. That was Van 1. I was in charge of renting the second vehicle. I rented a van which we called.....Van 2. By the way, Van 2 rules.

Now setting up the line up or run legs was a task. I had to figure out who were my stronger runners and my not as strong runners. Others would have said weaker runners but hey, I am using my non-angry fingers tonight. Each runner's leg was varying distances but I also had to look at the total of the three legs. C-Steve already volunteered for the longest total (22.3 miles) and I was going to have Veronica take the shortest total (13.1 miles). I also had to keep certain people together based on who rented what vehicle and who giggled the most.

So that meant I put Stacey in Van 1, since she rented Van 1. Kalani in Van 1 since she knows Stacy. V in Van 1 since she was taking the low miles and she also knows Kalani and Stacy. Jen-e because she had the second fewest miles. Mike and Milsaps to put some musk in the van.

Van 2, which by the way was a mini-van. I should finally come clean to my Van 2 runners and let them know that I did have access to a large van but wanted to feel closer to my running mates. Kind of a psychological thing Captains do. I read about it in a "Coaches for Dummies" book.

C-Steve was in Van 2 because of the most miles runner. Jason was in Van 2 with the second longest miles. Red was in Van 2 since she is friends with Beth who was in Van 2 since P-Funk-U was going to be in Van 2. And the Captain rounded out Van 2 since I was runner 12 and would be finishing the race. Well let's also face it. I was the Captain and I was going to be pretty much where ever I wanted to be. For goodness sake.

After all that was put on paper, we had two more meetings to discuss final preparations and logistics. Now you would think topics of conversation would be about running and what distances will I do. How difficult will it be and such. No. I heard things like: Will I be able to charge my Blackberry. I better be able to get on Facebook while out in the boonies. Who is bringing the baby wipes. Can I call my girl. Can I call my man. Can we wear Depends while in the van. Will there be port-o-pottys. Do I have to sleep with one eye open. Do we have a pump. There better be no farting. Do I have to run the whole time. Can I run in my jammies. Can I have beer after my first run, second run or should I just wait until the end of my third run. Will I be able to shower after each run. Where are we going to eat once we get to Daytona. Can we eat now. I can make a mix CD. Should I let my Probation Officer know I am doing this. Are you a Princess. Are we allowed to moon walk. Should I bring a gun. I am not going to wear a shirt while I run. Oh I like that ring. Is it real.

Now there was one teammate who was just so concerned about something she had absolutely nothing to do with. Picking up Van 2 from the car rental location. She wanted to know who was picking it up. What time that was going to happen. And what color the van would be. For the life of me I still can not figure out the concern. I told her "everything will be alright. Now be quiet." Turns out that when she was a child she was left at home while her parents went out of town for the holidays. I thought this was a movie in the 80's but turns out her parents were big fans of this movie and wanted to see if it would really work. Guess it did. But still, what does a mini-van have to do with it? Who knows.

Next chapter: The Fun Begins or Is She Really Going Out With Him?

What's In A Name or Out of the Bunker

2009-12-12T16:11:00.000-08:00

Now where did I leave off. Oh yeah. Let's name our team.

Since the "fast" BRA team's name was 12 Hearts, should we have something similar. Like for instance, 24 Kidneys or 12 noses or 17 earlobes. Figure that one out. Maybe something along the lines of, The Slow Asses, The Others, The Glittering Cowboys or BRA's Red Headed Step Kids. No. We did not want to offend any troubled youths out there or red heads on our team.

So Beth and I started tossing out different names that sounded fun and yet fitting. She thought of Mixed Nuts. I thought of 6 Swords and Their Sheathes. We compromised on Half Nuts. She was thinking that we had to be half nuts to run across Florida. Guys, you know what I was thinking. Six guys-six girls on a team. Anyways. Turns out when the team was finalized, after the naming of course, we were actually 5/12ths Nuts. But hey.

We now needed a logo of some sorts. You know the whole womanly, "we got to have matching shirts so we can take pictures. Shirts we can wear crossing the finish line." Beth was able to use her artistic creativity (actually stole a clip art) and came up with our logo.

So after heavy debating and numerous voting, the name and logo were born. We were no longer just Team 44, we were and will forever be Half Nuts. HN4LB.

All we had left to do now was prepare ourselves for this strenuous journey we were going to partake in. I organized countless training sessions and met with numerous strength, conditioning, life and running coaches. I will also let the cat out of the bag and say that some of our runners also spent some time on a couch or two. They did not realize they were already on the team. I don't kiss and tell.

Some of the team suggested we have a few pre-Ragnar meetings just to talk about logistics and such. I held the first meeting at St Pete Beach. I set it up with beer and food. Had the beach chair with an umbrella. And just as the sun began to set on the horizon, I pulled out my laptop and sent some e-mails to the team. You have to sometimes slap them in the mouth to get their attention. I had a blast.

After several meetings, numerous phone calls, leg jockeying and countless e-mails, we were ready to race.

Next: Up Before Dawn or Is That Really Our Van?

The Team Comes Together

2009-12-09T18:37:00.000-08:00

Now let's continue the Ragnar Saga.

I left you last with five members down and seven to go. How do I pick a team from so much talent available. The easiest way was to put out an e-mail invite to the yahoo BRA groups page. Three times as a matter of fact. That netted me about.....no one. So I would have to rely on word of mouth. A new comer to BRA was this young guy named Jason "The Millionaire". (The story of his name in future episodes.) He was mainly a 5k runner with impressive times compared to the rest of my team. He had talked about wanting to do the Ragnar race. I said, "welcome aboard there young man." We now have six.

Now I needed to go where the runners are. You local Tampa folks may know about a little run on Tuesday nights at 6pm held at Four Green Fields. It is a free 5k and once you have done your 10th run you get a free tech shirt on your 11th appearance. I was with Veronica and Beth. V told me that she new a guy that might be interested in joining the team. She introduced me to Mike. I met him before at a Hasher event. He said he would join the team.

Also while I was there, I happened to bump in to this lovely blond I know. She is very spunky and always seems to be smiling. I first met her at last years Ragnar Florida race. We seemed to have hit it off well. I talked to her this time about being on my Ragnar team. I REALLY wanted her on my team. She seemed really excited and all game. I told her I would call her and fill her in on the details. I then saw Kalani, another BRA member, and asked her as well if she wanted to join my team. She agreed. She also said she would be able to get a friend of hers from out of state to join. That would mean only one woman left.

Out of nowhere I am told that another newcomer to BRA named Jennifer wanted to join and had check in hand. I knew nothing about her other than "check in hand." And quite frankly, I still don't know much about her. All my ladies are set. Now to complete the men's side.

Veronica told me about this guy named Scot that ran on her team last year. He was wanting to do it again this year. I told her to have him get his money to me. Check was in the mail. Eleven down and one to go.

There was one guy left that I had wanted to ask early on but was not sure of his interest. I think he is very much a closet runner. I asked a few teammates if they thought he would be interested and they were even unsure. That was why the e-vites were sent out early. I put the bait out there but did not get a bite. I think once my bait was packaged and presented as Beth, Patricia, Jennifer, Kalani, Stacey and V, who would not bite at the chance to spend a weekend with that bunch. Hell I was trying to figure out a way I could be in both vans. John took the bait. All 12 and now time for Supper.

But there was this one person that kept lingering around. She would show up at some of our runs. She would be at parties. She would be at water stops. She would be outside my window. She would be just about anywhere. I knew her at the time as Jen but others may know her as Redheadrunning. She so much wanted to do Ragnar but missed the boat. She was like our very own stowaway. "Put me in coach. Just put me in." I would have loved her to be one of our runners but could not kick any of the others off. You see I still had that international mandate I had to meet so C-Steve had to stay. I suggested she be our bike pacer for the night runners. That way she could still be on the team and provide much needed entertainment.

But as fate goes, one of our runners, Scot, had to pull out with only a month before the race. Now who would I get to fill his spot. Since we were on a mixed team, we had to have at least six women. I decided we will have seven women and five guys. Welcome aboard Red.

Next: Naming a Team or Smooth as Eggs

From the Brandon Half to Mickey's Merry

2009-12-07T19:23:00.000-08:00

This is a break away from the Ragnar tale.

Yesterday morning I ran the Brandon Half Marathon. I was not going to do the run, officially, until I was given a comp entry from one of my fellow BRA runners. She works for Driscoll's. You should try their strawberries. I have and they are some of the finest berries in the world. Okay Esther does that count as an endorsement.

I have recently been running faster than I normally run. I PR'd the Ironman 70.3 World Championships in Clearwater last month by almost 2 hours. I ran like a madman, so I heard, during Ragnar all while using McDonald's as fuel. But you will read about that on future blogs. And I PR'd a 5k on Turkey day. So I wanted to try and PR a half marathon. I had not been running much lately and I had Five Guys for lunch on Saturday. Don't you just love that place. Double burger and fries. I mean fries that leave grease stains in the brown paper bags. I take the bags home and use them for kindling on camping trips. I cook the same damn kind of meat on my grill but I can't get my youngest one to eat my burgers. WTH.

Tried to eat good for dinner. Spaghetti and turkey meat sauce. Two or three beeeers. There was football on. Some fresh baked oatmeal raisin cookies. Have you tried the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I did. Right after the other cookies. Went to bed around....ohhh midnight.

One of the good things about the Brandon Half Marathon is that you can park your car damn near on the starting line. And it is only 20 minutes from my house. So, I just stay in my car and sleep with the heat on until about 15 minutes prior to the gun going off.

It was cold at the start but I felt good. I was shaking like a leaf. People who know me will tell you that I do shiver when it is cold. I have this condition called, "itscoldashellouthere." Had no ipod. Have taken my shuffle to Apple three times. That is another story. No gloves. Wish I did. Hands were cold for a while. Actually the whole race. And we are off. The fast guys are out front. Which is not me. Remember, I was the Captain for Half Nuts.

It was cold but I still took water at every water stop. I remember Tom, one of the fast runners, telling me and others in our group to drink water even though it was not hot out. He gives great advice. I should listen to him more often. Something I did learn. When getting ready to eat GU (carbo gel) in the cold, you should warm the package up in your hands first so it goes down easier. I just read the previous sentence again. If you are not a runner, shame on you.

Anyways, I finished in 1:44:34. I PR'd by about 7 minutes or so. Other runners in our BRA group also had PR's so I congratulate them as well. And the fastest runner was Josh who is a BRA member.

I also discovered a new breakfast treat. A post morning race treat that is. The new Budweiser wheat beer and Burger King's french toast. You dip the french toast in to your beer and enjoy. Much better than the syrup.

Now on to the evening. Mickey's Very Merry Christmas at Walt Disney's Magic Kingdom with the family. This was an annual family event that we had not done for the past three years. The girls seemed to have out grown Disney and all it's magic. Which my bank account surely loves. We all agreed to give it another try this year. Believe it or not, teen girls still get excited about going to Disney World. At least that is what they said even though on the way there one was texting a mile a second and the other was sleeping. Would you believe Disney now charges $14 to park your car. Unless you tell them you are.....no trade secrets.

For those not familiar with how this whole MVMC goes well here is the break down. You have to buy separate tickets for this event. It is on specific dates and is from 7pm til midnight. The park closes at 7pm for all other guests. You are given a wristband and all those without are funnelled to the front and out the gate. Now you have the whole park to yourself. Yeah right. You and 20,000 others. For some reason this year the park was not all that crowded. My youngest one asked me if this was the kind of "change" everyone was talking about.

Too keep this short, fun was had by all. It was very nice to see the kids playing around and having a good time. The part I did not like was when my oldest one was talking about bringing her kids to Disney some day. Hopefully many, many, many, (how do you make an infinite symbol?) years from now.

Who to Invite for Supper

2009-12-05T13:05:00.000-08:00

So now I needed to round up eleven other runners for my team. Several had already spoken up prior to the BRA meeting about being on a second team. It was just a matter of getting them to commit. In other words, "pay up sucka." Each runner had to pay an entry fee to me and I had to register the team on-line. No team name required at this time. Just a team number.

We were going to enter in the "open division" which meant no age restrictions and at least 6 runners had to be women. Who to choose and who to beg. There was going to be some arm twisting, bribes and if necessary, photos posted on TMZ.com. I save all videos for personal viewing.

As it stood, I already had three runners committed. Well four when including me. I had Carribean Steve, who was my international runner in case there was some kind of mandate I had to fulfill. I had Veronica, who was my Ragnar veteran and was going to bring her logistical expertise to the table. And I had Beth, who I reserve the right to comment on later. Now eight to go.

I talked to the captain of the "fast" BRA team and we both agreed that we would not try to recruit each others runners that were on the fence. If a runner committed to his team, again a woman, I would not try to convince her to run for me. Running club first. Now that doesn't mean there weren't others trying to win them over.

My thought was to put out the generic invitation and see who bites. There were some that wanted to join but could not get out of work or family plans. For those two, you know who you are, I have a spot for you in 2010. There were others that were hemming and hawing about what to do. I knew one in particular would come around after all the hounding and pressure put on her by my minions. I for one am glad she caved. P-Funk-U, welcome aboard. The team now had a mediator for those unresolved issues or fights brewing about creative differences.

Five down. Seven to go.

Forthcoming: The Rest of the Line-up or Jumpin Jack Flash

Pre-Ragnar or Captain Got Some Work To Do

2009-12-02T18:57:00.000-08:00

Totally NO PRESSURE....

My first experience with Ragnar Florida was last year when I rode the bicycle during the night runs for Van 1 of the 12 Hearts team. The 12 Hearts team was the "fast" team from Brandon Running Association. They were hoping to win the race. Turns out they were the first losers which means "second place" in politically correct terms.

At the end of the race I realized I really wanted to do this race next year as a runner. But I also knew that I was not fast enough to be on the 12 Hearts team. Well, I felt I was fast enough but I was not picking the team. So I thought that if I volunteered to be a Captain of a team then I was assured a spot on the roster. It's kind of like when we were kids on the playground getting ready to play kickball. If you were always one of the two that picked the teams then you were guaranteed not to be picked last.

Before the Summer, we had one of our monthly BRA meetings and Ragnar was brought up. Of course the "fast team" was laying their groundwork on who they were going to get to fill the gaps in because some of last years runners would not be available this year. Well of course the gaps were left by women that were either out of the country, prior work commitments or just too damn slow last year. Again, no open spot for Walter. Time to change course.

There were others that did Ragnar last year on a different team that wanted to do it again this year but not with the same people. Kind of a Mutiny on the S. S. Ragnar. These same few did not want to be a Captain but did want to help out in any way. I heard my name mentioned in the background as being a Captain for a second BRA team. I welcomed the challenge. That was part of my plan. Little did they know, I had been recruiting a team for some time. But things would be different on my team. No worries. No stress. We were not expected to win so I only wanted each runner to give it their best. And most of all, NO PRESSURE.

Now picking eleven more people to be together for a run across Florida was a challenge. The struggles and sacrifices I made were astounding. Now I am sure my teammates are reading this and saying....WTH. But until you have walked a mile in my shoes. Anyways....

Forthcoming : The Team or "Who to Invite for Supper"

Breaking the Blog Seal

2009-12-01T19:26:00.000-08:00

My first official blog. Never invited as a guest blogger either, but hey, doesn't matter who you show up to the dance with right. It's who you take home.

I decided to start a blog once I read some written by two friends of mine. They are Beth "discom-BOB-ulated running" and Jen "caution redhead running". We recently competed in a cross Florida run known as Ragnar Florida. They both wrote what they experienced during this race. I realized that there were some things left out. Many things. Also, there was no guy perspective given. So, why not give it a shot and add some meat to the stories.

I will break my virgin blogginess in during the next few days by telling all of the adventures we had on a Friday afternoon in Tarpon Springs to a Sunday morning in Daytona Beach.